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a question about Love (don't worry it's not "What is love?")

post #1 of 3
7/30/10 at 3:16pm
Thread Starter 
Have you ever loved someone else to your own detriment?

(a person) (Not a cat/dog/pet, etc)

There are more than a few people in this world who say loving someone else to your own detriment is one facet of true love. Some even say it's the way (or one of the ways) to define real love. These folks will often use the word "sacrifice". Sacrifice this, sacrifice that, etc. While others say it's just a facet and optional.

So I'm just curious. The text in green is simply my 2 cent observation- Feel free to comment on it -or not -as you see fit. I'm more curious about the question.
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post #2 of 3
7/31/10 at 7:26am
I would have to answer "no" but I see this type of thing differently than you described.

I have given of myself to a loved one and done things that were extremely difficult, things that wore me down and probably aged me (some things I did not think I was capable of doing!); all to help someone I dearly love... but I have never, ever thought that I had "sacrificed" anything, though, that word implies destruction to me. Everything I've given was done freely, to ease suffering, and when you do something out of love, you never feel that you have lost or given up anything. Helping my loved ones has always felt like a reward.

Maybe from the outside looking in it seems like a sacrifice, but it's never felt that way to me.
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post #3 of 3
8/2/10 at 10:35am
Thread Starter 
Thanks. I've actually helped people (where there's no love, period. meaning no familial love or romantic love) to my own detriment. Back then I didn't know how to “put on the brakes” before crossing that line of "uh-oh. I've given way too much"

Nowadays I like to spread my help around (spread myself thin, as the saying goes) so people don't get too comfy/dependent on me, which tends to happen if I am true to my generous side. With age comes experience and wisdom - I've also learned how to put on the brakes better. Hard to pinpoint when/where/how, but I'm happy about the changes (I think).

Here's a quote that I'd like folks' opinion on. It doesn't need its own thread so I'll toss it into this one. The official entire quote can be Googled --I've only used the first part of it here because the original is long. The bit about light and darkness.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. <snip> ”

-from “A Return to Love”, by Marianne Williamson
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