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Christianity and Tolerance (long)

post #1 of 291
7/27/10 at 3:59pm
Thread Starter 
Lately I have been thinking a lot about this... Christianity and Chritian Love, and Tolerance...

I am the type fo person that believes in all possibilities, including the existence or not of God and Jesus, and all other faiths alike. I believe there is no right or wrong as far as religion goes, and it is a matter of faith - all of them should be respected, as long as they are not harming anyone else (I mean physically harming, not morally).

Morals to me imply being a good person, respecting other peoples bounderies, understanding them, protecting them, and working towards a better World. I believe that we are all raised by different families, in different places, in a set of different circumstances, so what is right for me will not be right for the next person.

So basically, for me, there is no right or wrong, as long as you have good intentions at your heart. That for me are good morals. Try to not harm or hurt anyone in purpose would be a good start - be careful with people... Love them...

I know that as we go through life this becomes a difficult task, and a lot of times to protect ourselves we end up hurting others, but as long as you try your best to not hurt people, I think that is a good path...

Anyways... There is a passage on the Bible that for me, if Jesus exists, that is what I like to think Jesus Love and Christian Love means... This passage is very known, but I think very forgotten.

So, without further ado:

1 Corinthians 13

Love

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

The reason for my post, is that I have been noticing lately a growing intolerace towards anything not fitting to the "Christian model" or standards.

See... but to me, that doesn't make any sense... It is like things are getting lost in translation.....

Is My Jesus different of Their Jesus?

When they say Jesus loves you, and Jesus loves us as his own image and likeness, as his brothers.... Isn't love Kind? Patient? Love keeps no records of wrongs... Isn't love always protecting, trusting, and perseveering?

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

So how can this same Jesus have this same love, spoken by these same Christians, and at the same time be completely intolerant with anything or anybody who don't fit their set of standards?

Aren't Christians supposed to carry through the word of Jesus which is a word of love and forgiveness? The one who suposedly gave his life to forgive us of our sins?

So why so many of them close themselves for understanding, and sometimes even carry through words of hate?

If this Jesus is so good.......... why would he send us to hell?

See.... it seems to me either we have two different Jesus, or I am definitely missing something... MY Jesus, is a good, kind, and forgiving one.

Anybody has a take on this?
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post #2 of 291
7/27/10 at 5:12pm
Its far more then just being good, doing good things, helping each other out, etc. Tolerance only works so far. Its not "everything goes as long as you are good". There are set rules to follow (guidelines) and consequences if you don't follow the rules.

Jesus never sends anyone to hell. People go there for rejection of God and Jesus. Jesus (and the prophets) talked about repentence and to turn and follow God. Satan created sin in the world and God's mercy and grace can save us.

We cannot "earn" our way into Heaven. The wages of sin is death and all of us have sinned and so all should be put to death. But God's grace and mercy is our ticket out. He offers grace - free of charge. We don't deserve it nor can we ever earn it, but he still offers it to us.

You cannot just take one small section from the Bible and say this is it - the Bible is the "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth" - you have to take all of it - not part of it. And you can't say "oh I want this part but I don't like this part, so I'm gonna toss that out". You take the good and the bad and the key is to repent and turn away from the sin that Satan placed in front of us.
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post #3 of 291
7/27/10 at 5:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Its far more then just being good, doing good things, helping each other out, etc. Tolerance only works so far. Its not "everything goes as long as you are good". There are set rules to follow (guidelines) and consequences if you don't follow the rules.

Jesus never sends anyone to hell. People go there for rejection of God and Jesus. Jesus (and the prophets) talked about repentence and to turn and follow God. Satan created sin in the world and God's mercy and grace can save us.

We cannot "earn" our way into Heaven. The wages of sin is death and all of us have sinned and so all should be put to death. But God's grace and mercy is our ticket out. He offers grace - free of charge. We don't deserve it nor can we ever earn it, but he still offers it to us.

You cannot just take one small section from the Bible and say this is it - the Bible is the "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth" - you have to take all of it - not part of it. And you can't say "oh I want this part but I don't like this part, so I'm gonna toss that out". You take the good and the bad and the key is to repent and turn away from the sin that Satan placed in front of us.
But doesn't the New Testament contradict the Old Testament?

And what about how the bible says that eating shellfish is an abomination? In the exact same section it says that being gay is is an abomination. So why is it ok to eat lobster, but being homosexual is immoral?

How can you follow all of it?

And what about what the bible says about having slaves?

Why is some things the bible says not to do ok to do not, but others are still a sin?
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post #4 of 291
7/27/10 at 5:37pm
One of the real problems with religions of every type is for the followers to be like their leader/founder. In other words, it's very hard for Chistians to be "Christ-like." I have seen both sides of it, and I have to say that no truer words were ever spoken than that, "A church is made up of people, and people are people."

I have known fantastically Christ-like people, and I have known Christians who didn't have a clue.

But then, having been a teacher, I know how hard it is to be perfect all the time. It just doesn't happen.
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post #5 of 291
7/27/10 at 6:19pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
You cannot just take one small section from the Bible and say this is it - the Bible is the "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth" - you have to take all of it - not part of it. And you can't say "oh I want this part but I don't like this part, so I'm gonna toss that out". You take the good and the bad and the key is to repent and turn away from the sin that Satan placed in front of us.
See, my post was about Christianity and tolerance. I am not tossing the Bible out, I am questioning the lack of tolerance I am seeing more and more on display by Christians. You do not expect me to quote the whole Bible right? My reasoning was if there is one only one word I could use to describe Jesus, that word would be "Love". For me, nothing illustrates better in the Bible, Love than Corinthians 13. Yet, I see very little Christian Love being passed around nowadays... That's why I posted that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Its far more then just being good, doing good things, helping each other out, etc.
I am sorry, but I have a very hard time agreeing with this. I think that good, kind actions speak much louder than presence in church, preaching, trying to convince others, protesting, and many times being intolerant and hateful. These good actions can be a "set of rules" per se in any religion, anywhere in the World... No matter where you go and what you believe...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Tolerance only works so far. Its not "everything goes as long as you are good". There are set rules to follow (guidelines) and consequences if you don't follow the rules.
IMO a major, deep, big problem; it is the main, if not the only reason for religion wars - which probably account for the majority of bloodshed in this World's History...
I am not sure what makes you think that your set of rules are the absolute truth, and better than the set of rules set by the next religion...

Wouldn't it be better if you lived by your religious and moral rules, and respected and accepted the others' religious rules? They, on their end would live by their rules, and not interfere in your life...
A tolerant World would be a peaceful World.
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post #6 of 291
7/27/10 at 7:20pm
GoldenKitty, you gave an eloquent answer. All true. And we Christian people should be tolerant of others. "Hate the sin, love the sinner" is a quote I have heard often.

And Carolina, I must respectfully say I didn't read intolerance for others in GoldenKitty's reply.
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post #7 of 291
7/28/10 at 4:32am
Before I get flamed for this or whatever..Please keep in mind this is my opinion and how I feel on the subject brought up.


I dont believe in God, that is my choice. Im not saying that I dont believe in religion or anything like that, its your choice to belong to one, and I dont push how I feel onto other people. While I was going thru rehab and the group meetings, AA, etc I was razzed on all the time by my counselor and other members of the groups because my choice is to not believe in God. In AA and thru Gaudenzia you are supposed to give yourself over to a higher power, my higher power is not a God or anything else. Its myself, I had control over my actions, I made the choices that brought me to where I was and where I am now, I see that putting myself over to a God throughout the rehab was a cop out like blaming another entity that IMO doesnt exist.

I find that there is too much intolerance among all religious groups, not just Christians. I for one choose to not be intolerant towards others and their beliefs. I have found that too many people I have met are too fond of basing their intolerances because of their religion. I would think that someone who puts all their faith into a God would be the most tolerant of all, loving everyone regardless or their sex, race, or partner choice. But thats just me. Part of me having turned away from God and religion is too many people feel its their 'duty' to force their beliefs at other people. I dont like being looked down because I dont go to church, because I dont believe in a God. We live in an age where choice is something we all have and its MY choice to believe in what I believe in. If I feel the need to 'pray' or find some peace of mind I talk to my maternal grandmother and my childhood dog Dudley.

I guess I just cant find a reason to believe in something or someone that other people use to promote intolerance. I dont care which way its sliced to me disliking gays because 'the bible says so' is intolerance. I find racist people to be disgusting....Anti abortion people who bomb family planning clinics to be psychotic hypocrites. Shouldnt we all be able to take what we need to out of a religion and still be supportive of everyone regardless of who they choose to be with, what color their skin is and their life choices. Unfortunately in my experiance the people Ive met who are the most intolerant and ignorant are the people who claim to be the most devote of religious people, its just kind of backwards to me.

Im sorry if I have offended anyone who is Christian or otherwise...That is not my intention so do not take it as offensive..Im also not addressing anyone on this board as someone who is intolerant. Like I said this is just my opinion, Im coming from a place based off my personal 'real life' experiances. So again sorry if I offended anyone, that wasnt what I was trying to do and please do not take it badly, Im just sharing my personal thoughts and experiances.
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post #8 of 291
7/28/10 at 5:12am
Golden Kitty, you gave an answer which I believe to be well spoken. As Christians, we should love everyone unconditionally, whether or not we agree with their life choices. It is our commandment from Jesus to preach and teach his word until we go home to be with him. Sometimes people do make their choices and it is to their right to do so, just like it is our right to try and reach them for the Lord. Because we do that does not mean we are intolerant. It just means we have our own set of beliefs based on the Bible and we do not compromise that.
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post #9 of 291
7/28/10 at 6:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3CatsN1Dog View Post
I guess I just cant find a reason to believe in something or someone that other people use to promote intolerance. I dont care which way its sliced to me disliking gays because 'the bible says so' is intolerance. I find racist people to be disgusting....Anti abortion people who bomb family planning clinics to be psychotic hypocrites. Shouldnt we all be able to take what we need to out of a religion and still be supportive of everyone regardless of who they choose to be with, what color their skin is and their life choices.
3Cats, I appreciate your candor. But a true Christian, although we are taught to believe abortion is wrong, would not bomb a clinic. I seriously doubt that is what "Jesus would have done".

And from my personal perspective, to be a Christian does not mean "we should be able to take what we need out of a religion". It is far, far more about giving and serving. To all. To those who have had abortions. To gays. To Muslims. To racists. To other Christians who are with a denomination we don't happen to agree with. The work of a Christian is never finished until he takes his last breath, if even then.
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post #10 of 291
7/28/10 at 6:41am
If you break down the Bible somewhat, the OT is the history, the NT is what is now and Revelation is the end. When Jesus came and died and rose again, he was the sacrificial Lamb for the rest of times. No more need for the OT sacrificies to God. Also in the NT (Acts 10) Peter is confronted by God and shown that ALL things that God has made are clean. You can eat anything He provided.

Jesus preached he was the way to God - the only way (not just "a" way). Jesus was God in the flesh. Many did not believe it back then as well as many do not believe it today.

But Christians were commanded by Jesus to go out to all of the earth and preach the good news of Jesus. We don't have to (or should) make any one believe - that is God's job. Our command is to tell.

And as far as doing good - if you become more Christ-like in your actions, you will just naturally do good - but its not a requirement to earn your way into heaven; its a result of repentence and following what Jesus and God commands. God is a loving father to all, but he also hands out disclipine to those who disobey - much like our human fathers. He's not all good nor is he all fire and brimestone.
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post #11 of 291
7/28/10 at 7:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by threecatowner View Post
3Cats, I appreciate your candor. But a true Christian, although we are taught to believe abortion is wrong, would not bomb a clinic. I seriously doubt that is what "Jesus would have done".

And from my personal perspective, to be a Christian does not mean "we should be able to take what we need out of a religion". It is far, far more about giving and serving. To all. To those who have had abortions. To gays. To Muslims. To racists. To other Christians who are with a denomination we don't happen to agree with. The work of a Christian is never finished until he takes his last breath, if even then.
What a beautiful post!
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post #12 of 291
7/28/10 at 9:54am
GK, you're very articulate and provided very insightful answers.
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post #13 of 291
7/28/10 at 9:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carolina View Post
See, my post was about Christianity and tolerance. I am not tossing the Bible out, I am questioning the lack of tolerance I am seeing more and more on display by Christians. You do not expect me to quote the whole Bible right? My reasoning was if there is one only one word I could use to describe Jesus, that word would be "Love". For me, nothing illustrates better in the Bible, Love than Corinthians 13. Yet, I see very little Christian Love being passed around nowadays... That's why I posted that.
There are several quotes in the Bible that give some Christians a lot of trouble. Jesus specifically said that his current followers were not his only followers: "Other sheep have I that are not of this fold."

And the famous vision about the unclean meat didn't have anything to do with food; it was a statement that the early church was being intolerant of those who needed the Christian message: "Do not call unclean what I have called clean."
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post #14 of 291
7/28/10 at 11:00am
I disagree on that one, but it could have been both meanings. The fact is that Peter was arguing against eating foods he was taught not to eat - so I tend to believe it was meant that anything God created was for us to eat.
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post #15 of 291
7/28/10 at 12:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
I disagree on that one, but it could have been both meanings. The fact is that Peter was arguing against eating foods he was taught not to eat - so I tend to believe it was meant that anything God created was for us to eat.
Really? I thought it was common belief that that incident was all about Paul preaching to Gentiles. But then I'm never quite sure what's "common belief" anyway. Nobody can agree on anything.
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post #16 of 291
7/28/10 at 12:29pm
I hear what you are saying Carolina. I am of a Christian faith and I hate to actually admit it to anyone because I know I am gonna get all sorts of reactions I would rather go without. From people who have issues with Christians to meeting other "Christians" who make me irate with their intolerance of others. I preach and teach others about Jehovah but don't look down my nose at other people and how they choose to live their lives. Even if the reject God. If they are happy with their lives than so be it. God will judge, not me. Who am I?

I wish people would be more tolerant too. I treat people with the same respect I wish to be given.
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post #17 of 291
7/28/10 at 12:40pm
While its fine to "not judge" people and agree that is God's final decision, it does NOT mean you need to accept or tolerate what you know is wrong or against God's rules.

You can still love the sinner but hate the sin. You don't condone what is wrong. You show them God's word about the sin and then let God do the work in changing their heart.
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post #18 of 291
7/28/10 at 1:20pm
But when you say you won't "tolerate" something, do you mean that you'd infringe on the rights of others or be mean to them? If, after you share your beliefs with them, they choose to go on with their behavior, that's between them and God. They have Free Will like everyone.
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post #19 of 291
7/28/10 at 1:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
But Christians were commanded by Jesus to go out to all of the earth and preach the good news of Jesus. We don't have to (or should) make any one believe - that is God's job. Our command is to tell.


Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
While its fine to "not judge" people and agree that is God's final decision, it does NOT mean you need to accept or tolerate what you know is wrong or against God's rules.

You can still love the sinner but hate the sin. You don't condone what is wrong. You show them God's word about the sin and then let God do the work in changing their heart.
So, any time that a person isn't "made" to believe, or their heart "changed", then God has failed?
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post #20 of 291
7/28/10 at 1:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
While its fine to "not judge" people and agree that is God's final decision, it does NOT mean you need to accept or tolerate what you know is wrong or against God's rules.

You can still love the sinner but hate the sin. You don't condone what is wrong. You show them God's word about the sin and then let God do the work in changing their heart.
I think it does mean that you need to accept it and tolerate it. It's none of our business what other people decide to do with their spirituality. If they accept your help and direction in teaching them about God than thats great, if not than it's not up to me to condone them. I certianly don't mean I look the other way and associate with people who have values other than my own. But I let them live their lives how they see fit and want the same respect given me. In this country there is freedom of belief.

I am curious how you distinguish between not judging and showing someone you don't accept or tolerate what they do? I think all we can do is not associate outside of school or work or in preaching with such people whom we cannot condone their actions. Anything outside that I think is being judgemental, if you don't let them live their life how they choose.
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post #21 of 291
7/28/10 at 2:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3CatsN1Dog View Post
I dont believe in God, that is my choice. Im not saying that I dont believe in religion or anything like that, its your choice to belong to one, and I dont push how I feel onto other people. While I was going thru rehab and the group meetings, AA, etc I was razzed on all the time by my counselor and other members of the groups because my choice is to not believe in God. In AA and thru Gaudenzia you are supposed to give yourself over to a higher power, my higher power is not a God or anything else. Its myself, I had control over my actions, I made the choices that brought me to where I was and where I am now, I see that putting myself over to a God throughout the rehab was a cop out like blaming another entity that IMO doesnt exist.

I find that there is too much intolerance among all religious groups, not just Christians. I for one choose to not be intolerant towards others and their beliefs. I have found that too many people I have met are too fond of basing their intolerances because of their religion. I would think that someone who puts all their faith into a God would be the most tolerant of all, loving everyone regardless or their sex, race, or partner choice. But thats just me. Part of me having turned away from God and religion is too many people feel its their 'duty' to force their beliefs at other people. I dont like being looked down because I dont go to church, because I dont believe in a God. We live in an age where choice is something we all have and its MY choice to believe in what I believe in.

I guess I just cant find a reason to believe in something or someone that other people use to promote intolerance.......

I'm in your camp. The reason that I left formal religious practices was because of the intolerance that I felt oozing out of even the most "Christian" members. IMO, churches should be teaching love and tolerance, not to convert followers, lay blame on those that don't follow their specific teachings, or tell you that you will receive punishment if you don't follow them. I see a lot of guilt based practices in too many churches.
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post #22 of 291
7/28/10 at 3:10pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momofmany View Post

I'm in your camp. The reason that I left formal religious practices was because of the intolerance that I felt oozing out of even the most "Christian" members. IMO, churches should be teaching love and tolerance, not to convert followers, lay blame on those that don't follow their specific teachings, or tell you that you will receive punishment if you don't follow them. I see a lot of guilt based practices in too many churches.
I am right there with you... If people just understood how this forceful only truth my way or the highway preaching is completely counterproductive, they would think twice about how they try to convert people.
The only place I ever felt "home", was an Amazing place in LA called Agape Spiritual Center. Agape is a non denominational spiritual center, where they talk about God, but a different idea of God. Not a God as a being per se, but as something that is withing all of us, life itself, goodness, kindness, love, creation... God is within each and all of us, as our creator and creation itself. In there you see Christians, Jewish, Spiritsts, Muslims, Catholics, Straights, Gays, Blacks, Whites, yellows.... You just feel so much love and acceptance in that place that you get out of there feeeling so light it makes you want to fly. You start with a meditation session of half an hour or so to free yourself from the worries from the outside world and open yourself up to the message that it is coming... When you pray, you actually send all your good energy to people in need, or in war, or to the sick, you really really pray, all those hundreds of people, together sending good energy to one cause... you can feel the energy in the air... It is really quite a special place... It is all about love, tolerance, acceptance and making the world a better place. It is also about how wonderful we are, as human beings, for being Gods creation, and having God within us - we are capable of everything, we are special, ALL of us, no matter who we are...
Unfortunately I never found another place quite like that... I wish there was one here in Dallas... I would love to go...
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post #23 of 291
7/28/10 at 3:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
I disagree on that one, but it could have been both meanings. The fact is that Peter was arguing against eating foods he was taught not to eat - so I tend to believe it was meant that anything God created was for us to eat.
Actually, he was arguing that no one could become a Christian unless they became a Jew first. The vision was most definitely about that; you can tell because after the vision, he went down and met with someone he hadn't planned on meeting with. He didn't go down to have dinner with them!

And the vision was clearly about tolerance, the subject of this thread. The Jews had a long history of being exclusive, and they had to learn the "missionary" tolerance before they could go very far.
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post #24 of 291
7/28/10 at 3:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skippymjp View Post
So, any time that a person isn't "made" to believe, or their heart "changed", then God has failed?
No, God has not failed. Every person has a free will. He gave us that. A person can make up his/her mind. God beats nobody over the head to make them accept Jesus.
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post #25 of 291
7/28/10 at 4:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueyedgirl5946 View Post
No, God has not failed. Every person has a free will. He gave us that. A person can make up his/her mind. God beats nobody over the head to make them accept Jesus.
So then it's NOT God's job to "make" someone believe, as was mentioned before?
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post #26 of 291
7/28/10 at 7:11pm
The Holy Spirit can convict people in their hearts. God is in control. He can put people in our paths to help us or allow circumstances in our lives to help us make a choice to accept Jesus. Ultimately each person still has a free will and the choice is each individual's. I know people who suffer from drug addiction, alcohol addiction and other things that make their lives miserable. Do I love them as they are. Yes I do. Do I want to see them delivered from the things that ruin their lives. Yes I do and I have seen many people set free through the power of a God who loves them. I will teach and preach God's word until I draw my last breath.
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post #27 of 291
7/28/10 at 7:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueyedgirl5946 View Post
The Holy Spirit can convict people in their hearts. God is in control. He can put people in our paths to help us or allow circumstances in our lives to help us make a choice to accept Jesus. Ultimately each person still has a free will and the choice is each individual's. I know people who suffer from drug addiction, alcohol addiction and other things that make their lives miserable. Do I love them as they are. Yes I do. Do I want to see them delivered from the things that ruin their lives. Yes I do and I have seen many people set free through the power of a God who loves them. I will teach and preach God's word until I draw my last breath.
So God has to have humans to do his work for him?

By the way, "in control" and "free will" are conflicting concepts.
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post #28 of 291
7/28/10 at 7:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skippymjp View Post
So God has to have humans to do his work for him?

By the way, "in control" and "free will" are conflicting concepts.
We don't do his work for him. He is in control. We have a free will, nothing conflicting about that. He is not going to force anyone to do anything.
I am sorry I haven't explained it so you can understand. Maybe someone else will do that.
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post #29 of 291
7/28/10 at 7:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueyedgirl5946 View Post
We don't do his work for him. He is in control. We have a free will, nothing conflicting about that. He is not going to force anyone to do anything.
I am sorry I haven't explained it so you can understand. Maybe someone else will do that.
So, he's in control of something he doesn't control, and there isn't a conflict in that statement?

If a person has free will, how can they be "put in the path" of someone God wants to not control?
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post #30 of 291
7/28/10 at 7:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skippymjp View Post
If a person has free will, how can they be "put in the path" of someone God wants to not control?
Skippy, look at it like this. Do you ever want to do something - say, go to the mall, and for some reason you change your mind and stay home to do work around the house? Or take a walk around the block? Ever wonder why you may have changed your mind? No one made you, you just sort of did. But maybe on that walk you ran into someone who was having a really bad day, and you said something to them that actually helped. They walked on, maybe, with the slightest lift in their step because of something you said, that you may not even have realized you said.

You continue on your walk, nobody is the wiser. You may not even know you helped this person. But if you had gone to the mall, you would not have run into this person, and therefore not helped them.

Life is that way. I think maybe that is a little bit of what blueyedgirl is trying to say about the whole free will/put in path (literally, sometimes) thing. Does this make sense? It is getting late...
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