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Male vs Female cats

post #1 of 27
7/22/10 at 1:14pm
Thread Starter 
What are your responses to prospective kitten buyers who want a male because, "they are more affectionate'"

So far, I have one whole male, one neutered male, and three whole females. Two of the whole females are purr monsters and must be on my lap or dropping toys on my feet to fetch, and one female is skittish. The two males are both affectionate as well. I have not seen any difference between the males and females so far.

I had a visitor, who was adamant about wanting a male, come visit me and then tell me, "well I'd want a female if she'd be like that one."
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post #2 of 27
7/22/10 at 1:22pm
I think it just depends on the individual naturre of the cat, I ahve girl and boy kitties and they can all be as grumpy/nice as each other.x
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post #3 of 27
7/22/10 at 1:56pm
I really used to think that neutered male cats were more affectionate. I was young and didn't know any better. Now I see no difference. It's up to the nature of the individual cat. Now,when I fall in love with a kitty--the sex is the last thing I ask about, although being spayed or neutered IS important.
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post #4 of 27
7/22/10 at 2:22pm
I've had both males and females (purebred and not). In all most every case, my males were much more outgoing and loving then any of the females. Whether spayed or not, they tended to only like a few people or other cats in the house.

Showing wise I only had one female (my first breeding rex) that actually liked showing - none of the others did. And except for one male, all of them made lot better show cats.

I actually do recommend males (neutered) over females to anyone looking for a pet.

Those that say "it makes no difference" haven't had enough cats There is a difference. This is why I won't buy or show any more females. If given the choice I'll take a male over a female any day.
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post #5 of 27
7/22/10 at 2:38pm
Makes no difference with my cats. I've got 5 girls, 2 boys at the moment and all are equally friendly, cuddly, lap sitters.

My sister has 7 boys and 1 girl. The girl is most friendly, purry, lap cat of the lot.

The sookiest of my litter was a girl, she always had to be sitting on me, or tucked into my shirt

Regards to showing my girls have been much better than the boys, another breeder said the same thing on another forum recently. I think it just depends on the individual cat.
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post #6 of 27
7/22/10 at 2:40pm
i think males are more affectinate, Sooty certainly shows you more attention than Flash and when Smooch isnt being horrible he can be such a little love bug
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post #7 of 27
7/22/10 at 2:51pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post

Those that say "it makes no difference" haven't had enough cats There is a difference. This is why I won't buy or show any more females. If given the choice I'll take a male over a female any day.
Honestly, I appreciate your opinion as much as anyone's but this comment is a bit jarring. I am 40 years old and between my family and myself, we've had over 14 cats. In my comments above I was just mentioning my current cats, but over the years we have noticed no difference between the males and females. Actually, the two males who were a part of our lives the longest, 'old puss' and my deceased cat, Bonkers, were the least affectionate cats I have ever met. I loved them, but they could care less if they were pet or not pet daily.
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post #8 of 27
7/22/10 at 3:13pm
I've had both, and have not found one or the other to be more affectionate. Some of my males are more friendly than others, same with the females. Right now I have 4 boys and 3 girls. One of the girls Harley is the most outgoing--very friendly with people/dogs/cats (even strangers) and she is the only one I am still showing regularly because almost all the others I have taken to shows were either shy/nervous (two of her male littermates), or stopped enjoying it and started getting hissy (my slightly older male Church and Maine Coon female). Harley's brother Spot is very sweet and laid back and he did not mind shows but he just didn't get picked by the judges (probably because of his extra weight.)
Several of the cats I've had were not especially affectionate but not standoffish either. They like to be petted but just aren't lap cats.
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post #9 of 27
7/22/10 at 4:32pm
I disagree with Martice also.
I have had both males and females.
My nicest cats were my girls.
In fact my very sick CRF is the most loving cat ever and is in the vet getting a blood transfusion right now.
Her son that I gave to my sister is almost as nice as her.
Of the cats I show the nicest one in the ring and easiest to show is my Seal Tortie Point and White girl.
Polar is friendly also but Wrinkles and Cleo are the in your face type of cats and always purring.
I have had other males before.
Bogart was not a hugger at all and did not care if he was petted.
Frisky was very loving and friendly and Yoshi was in between.


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post #10 of 27
7/22/10 at 4:51pm
With feral cats, gender would affect behavior for survival of the species reasons.
My personal experience with domestic cats is that gender is irrelevant.
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post #11 of 27
7/22/10 at 5:16pm
Well maybe the males just tend to take better to me - I'm being honest here - I've found a lot of difference over the years. I've raised male and female kittens in the same way; lots of attention, cuddling, etc. And yet the boys turn out more friendly.
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post #12 of 27
7/22/10 at 5:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Well maybe the males just tend to take better to me - I'm being honest here - I've found a lot of difference over the years. I've raised male and female kittens in the same way; lots of attention, cuddling, etc. And yet the boys turn out more friendly.
My boys are always a lot friendlier too - and let's just say I've had more then 14 kittens, each year, for the last 15 years
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post #13 of 27
7/22/10 at 5:37pm
I'm another one who has had cats of BOTH sexes my entire life and doesn't think sex has anything to do with how affectionate the cat is. Cats are all individuals. I have had incredibly affectionate females AND incredibly affectionate males and on the other hand have had very standoffish cats of both sexes. Both of my females are as sweet and affectionate as can be. The only reason I have more males is because Nova came with Dana and Azizi was SUPPOSED to be a female.

One of my fosters, Pria, is one of the most loving cats I have ever known. In fact I have had a LOT of female fosters who were nothing BUT love.
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post #14 of 27
7/22/10 at 7:32pm
My girl is very friendly and very very very sweet/affectionate to all. I think the individual cat matters more than what sex the cat is, each one is an individual. That seems silly to me to say all boys are sweeter. Or all females are sweeter.
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post #15 of 27
7/22/10 at 7:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post

Those that say "it makes no difference" haven't had enough cats There is a difference. This is why I won't buy or show any more females. If given the choice I'll take a male over a female any day.
Can't agree with you. Every cat is an individual. Some are sweet and affectionate some are stand offish and everything in between. Some are male, some are female. I have lived with cats all my life, and have five waiting for me, so far, at the Bridge. (I imagine my girlhood cats are at my mother's Bridge)

There are exceptions to every "rule", and as for males being sweeter, there are many many exceptions to that one.
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post #16 of 27
7/22/10 at 7:51pm
For my house Males are more affectionate as most people see it /// they like cuddles and being hugged and carried ... My female s currently are semi feral and thus only affectionate truely with me ... One female greets all visitors but say s hi and bye( she also wanted the vet to call her a dog )
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post #17 of 27
7/22/10 at 7:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharky View Post
For my house Males are more affectionate as most people see it /// they like cuddles and being hugged and carried ... My female s currently are semi feral and thus only affectionate truely with me ... One female greets all visitors but say s hi and bye( she also wanted the vet to call her a dog )
Well, see? It just goes to show, each has to be judged as an individual case. We can't compare your male house cats with the female semi feral cats as far as how affectionate they are. It's "apples and oranges" as the saying goes. A feral kitty is not going to be showing affection to anything human regardless of gender.

By the way, I didn't vote in the poll because I didn't see a choice for what I think, which is, it depends on the cat.
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post #18 of 27
7/22/10 at 8:16pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats View Post
My boys are always a lot friendlier too - and let's just say I've had more then 14 kittens, each year, for the last 15 years
When I said 14 cats, I meant 14 cats grown from kitten to adulthood and then through their subsequent passing on. I have only been breeding three years and I have produced 9 so far. I can tell generalities with kittens, but I think I'd have to know a cat throughout it's life to know if they were genuinely affectionate or non-affectionate.

I do appreciate your opinion based on experience though.
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post #19 of 27
7/22/10 at 8:27pm
My family and I have had a series of altered females. I like them. Midori is more of a cuddle bug/lap cat while Gracie had and Aya has more diva-ish tendencies. I'd personally lean toward getting another girl as I also have a weakness for tricolor kitties (bring on the tortitude!).
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post #20 of 27
7/22/10 at 8:28pm
Thread Starter 
I should have added 'depends on cat' to the poll, but that wasn't really the point. Enough potential kitten buyers have approached me with the statement that they'd rather have a neutered male that it has made an impression. 'Depends on the cat' is really the same as 'there is no difference' when it comes to answering that question. I tell them that all cats are different, and that I will do my best to match the personality of the kitten to the needs of the new home.

There are other assumptions that I hear from buyers as well, such as:

Kittens should go to new homes at 8 weeks so they'll bond with people (false)

Kittens should be placed as singles or they'll bond with each other rather than their new human family (haven't researched that one enough, but in my experience cats we've owned have bonded with us whether single or double.. cats seem to have a different relationship with each than they do with their people)

Cats should never be fed soft food because it rots their teet. (false)

As a producer of show cats, I do have to deal with a lot of pet kitten buyers as well. I just want to ensure that I am gathering the best knowledge that I can so that I can pass it on to my buyers.
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post #21 of 27
7/23/10 at 3:31am
I can't give you guys a scientifically proven answer because I've only had boy cats up until this last year when we finally got a girl kitty.

I think they're just as different as people, although, from my experience of working with both genders at the shelters and the vet's office and the spay bus.
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post #22 of 27
7/23/10 at 6:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sohni View Post
I should have added 'depends on cat' to the poll, but that wasn't really the point. Enough potential kitten buyers have approached me with the statement that they'd rather have a neutered male that it has made an impression. 'Depends on the cat' is really the same as 'there is no difference' when it comes to answering that question. I tell them that all cats are different, and that I will do my best to match the personality of the kitten to the needs of the new home.

There are other assumptions that I hear from buyers as well, such as:

Kittens should go to new homes at 8 weeks so they'll bond with people (false)

Kittens should be placed as singles or they'll bond with each other rather than their new human family (haven't researched that one enough, but in my experience cats we've owned have bonded with us whether single or double.. cats seem to have a different relationship with each than they do with their people)

Cats should never be fed soft food because it rots their teet. (false)

As a producer of show cats, I do have to deal with a lot of pet kitten buyers as well. I just want to ensure that I am gathering the best knowledge that I can so that I can pass it on to my buyers.
It's good that you are in a position to break up these false myths. People love to stereotype. And saying male cats are sweeter or more affectionate than females is just another stereotype, a generalization based on opinion, not fact.

As I sit here at my desk there is always one of three cats on my lap. One is male, two are female, all were adopted at different times and at different ages and from different circumstances, and all are equally as sweet and affectionate as they purr on my lap.

As for the s already waiting for me at the Bridge, I would have to say the sweetest most malleable of them would be Bibbs, a female. Baby, a male, was my soul mate but he was a one person cat. Bibbs loved everyone and was super affectionate. Ootay (F), Sissy (F) and Squeaky(M) all were somewhere in between.

However I do the generalization too. Red Boys are my favorite and I always say there's nothing sweeter than a Red Boy. Baby was a Red Boy, but he loved only me. However I know many Red Girl cats who are sweet and friendly too.

Sissy () was a tortie and had what is known as tortitude. However, I know another tortie who is the sweetest girlie you'd ever want to meet.

And so on....

PS "makes no difference" and "it depends on the cat" do not mean the same thing to me, in my opinion.
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post #23 of 27
7/23/10 at 4:33pm
I much prefer males over females. When our latest 2 adopted us, I prayed they were males, and, thankfully, they were! It's odd. In our house, our one female only likes my hubby, and the 3 males seem to favor ME over hubby...kind of like real life kids, I would imagine (though I have no idea, not having any human kids)
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post #24 of 27
7/24/10 at 1:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sohni View Post
Kittens should be placed as singles or they'll bond with each other rather than their new human family (haven't researched that one enough, but in my experience cats we've owned have bonded with us whether single or double.. cats seem to have a different relationship with each than they do with their people)
I haven't found that to be true, mine have bonded well either way. My last cat was supposed to be a "single" but while waiting for her to come home I rescued a kitten who was very close to her age so they ended up growing up together. They're both bonded to people despite that. I also raised a litter of 7 kittens together, all 7 were together until 12 weeks old and then 6 together until another was adopted about 4-5 months old, another at 6 months old... I still have 4 of them and they are now 2 years old. They are very bonded with me but that may due to my having bottle fed them from 3 week old babies, however they are also very friendly and affectionate with the rest of the household (who didn't bottle-feed them.)
All my cats raised with other kittens seemed to become quite a bit more distant towards each other once they got out of the kitten stage, and closer with the people in the house.
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post #25 of 27
7/24/10 at 2:20am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsgreenjeens View Post
I much prefer males over females. When our latest 2 adopted us, I prayed they were males, and, thankfully, they were! It's odd. In our house, our one female only likes my hubby, and the 3 males seem to favor ME over hubby...kind of like real life kids, I would imagine (though I have no idea, not having any human kids)
its like that with flash and sooty tbh flash is very much a daddies girl so he would of said girl cats are more affectionate where as sooty is a mamas boy and cant get close enough to me thats why i said male cats are so what i really should of said after really thinking about this was there is no difference
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post #26 of 27
7/24/10 at 6:04pm
It really depends on the cat IMO. I grew up having only male cats and they were not very friendly at all. My first pet as an adult was my beloved Megan who was the light of my life for almost 20 years, a sweet tabby girl. She was very loving until she got into her later years and I blame that on old age and at the very end..pain

We now have 3 males and two females and they boys are very lovey dovey, the females are sweet as well. Of course the males and one of the females are Sphynx and they are usually very affectionate and good natured cats.
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post #27 of 27
7/25/10 at 12:16pm
I'm not voting because I've only had one female, but with this little experience I'd say males are more affectionate. My girl is only 1 year old (in 2 weeks) and she has been very independent for a looong time, and seems more 'mature' from her mind. My 3 males are 1,5-3,5 years old and they are more dependent on me and my company. You can almost do anything to them and they'll just purrrrr, but my female will let me know her real opinion immediately. If she comes to cuddle, it means she wants something..
My friend on the other hand has a female Angora who will immediately teleport on your lap if you sit down and she wants to be cuddled all the time.
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