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How to spot a Republican

post #1 of 17
7/17/10 at 8:39am
Thread Starter 
This is making its way around the internet. It made me giggle

Quote:
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.â€

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

“She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be an Obama Democrat.â€

“I am,†replied the man. “How did you know?â€

“Well,†answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.â€

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Republican.â€

“I am,†replied the balloonist. “How did you know?â€

“Well,†said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.â€
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post #2 of 17
7/17/10 at 9:10am
It would work just as well to tell it the other way if you are a republican.
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post #3 of 17
7/17/10 at 4:33pm
That gave me a chuckle
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post #4 of 17
7/18/10 at 6:51am
Good one, especially the last line!
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post #5 of 17
7/18/10 at 7:07am
That is a funny one, but I'm still proud to be a Republican
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post #6 of 17
7/18/10 at 7:35am
Have you heard the one about the Catholic priest and the kittens? No?

Well, some jokes are just so old and recycled that they've lost all their veracity. This is one.
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post #7 of 17
7/18/10 at 7:47am
How true that joke is! Good one!
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post #8 of 17
7/18/10 at 9:18am
OK, I'm Republican but I got a kick out of it anyway. And I agree that the Democrat/Republican examples here are swappable.
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post #9 of 17
7/18/10 at 12:45pm
They are and here is an absolutely perfect example:


Quote:
Three Hikers

One day, three democrats were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large, raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.

The first democrat prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second democrat prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third democrat had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools...and the intelligence... to cross this river."

And poof! God turned him into a Republican. He looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge!!
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post #10 of 17
7/18/10 at 12:53pm
PS

In these jokes it always seems necessary to put someone down (deride, mock, denigrate, belittle) in order to feel superior and that's what I don't like about them.
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post #11 of 17
7/18/10 at 8:25pm
I've actually heard it the other way around! Yep, it's made the rounds about 3 or 4 years ago.
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post #12 of 17
7/18/10 at 9:34pm
Republicans all own balloons?
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post #13 of 17
7/20/10 at 5:13am
I thought they were both funny...Not knee slapping funny but giggle a bit funny.

I dont find either offensive though to the point where they couldnt be giggled at. Ive heard some nasty ones that are mainly just to put the other down. These are just innocent little interchangable chuckles.
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post #14 of 17
7/20/10 at 6:09am
I've heard the one about the 3 guys and the river before, only the version I heard was God turned the third man into a woman. Any of them can be turned to poke fun at any group. They still make me giggle though.
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post #15 of 17
7/20/10 at 8:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
I've heard the one about the 3 guys and the river before, only the version I heard was God turned the third man into a woman. Any of them can be turned to poke fun at any group. They still make me giggle though.
That's the way I remembered it too!
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post #16 of 17
7/20/10 at 10:21am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skippymjp View Post
Republicans all own balloons?
Yes, all us Republicans own balloons.
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post #17 of 17
7/20/10 at 1:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by farleyv View Post
Yes, all us Republicans own balloons.
Wow, that would make you easy to spot. Where do you park something like that?
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