Depressed

I just found out that my sister has been "lending" money to a couple people - lots of money - and they never even make any attempt to pay her back. My sister is a patsy, she attracks these users, this isn't a unique thing. She is out of work and having health problems and not likely to find work any time soon. She's up to her neck in debt and very irresponsible with her finances. I've said everything I can think to say to her over the years and nothing changes. I know I can't do anything about the way she is and the choices she makes, but I love her, and my heart is broken hearing what's going on.

I really just needed to talk to somebody right now, so thank you for listening.

Feel free to pm me.

I used to be that way. I was so needy for friends I would do anything to have some...real friends or not.

that´s sad my friend......

I hope you can find a good solution.....

I think that there is a way to go to court to stop that and make you her guardian or something. She doesn't seem to know what to do.

I am so sorry that you are depressed. Depression is terrible. I know. Hey, treat yourself to a massage. It won't cure anything but you will feel relaxed and terrific afterwards.

Originally Posted by butzie

I think that there is a way to go to court to stop that and make you her guardian or something. She doesn't seem to know what to do.

I am so sorry that you are depressed. Depression is terrible. I know. Hey, treat yourself to a massage. It won't cure anything but you will feel relaxed and terrific afterwards.

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I would like to go to court and become guardians of all my stupid, irresponsible family, but I don't think that's a solution. For one thing, I don't live in the same city, or even close. That's part of the problem. For another, she's not incompetent, just stupid and no backbone to say no to people.

A massage sounds like an excellent suggestion Either that or heavy medication

Originally Posted by zohdee

Feel free to pm me.

I used to be that way. I was so needy for friends I would do anything to have some...real friends or not.

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Hi zohdee, I sent you a PM

Im sorry your going thru the backlash from your sisters mistakes. I know how it is but from your sisters end not yours. I did a lot of stuff to have friends even though after time showed they werent my friends they just manipulated my situation to get what they wanted. I really hope that your sister gets her stuff together and I hope you feel better. Its a crappy thing to be going thru.

I know how you feel hun. I too have been brought down due to actions of my family members, and sometimes no matter how much we want to help them, they have to want to help themselves. I do hope that things improve for your sister, and that she will come to understand that she does not need people like that in her life.

Originally Posted by Kailie

I know how you feel hun. I too have been brought down due to actions of my family members, and sometimes no matter how much we want to help them, they have to want to help themselves. I do hope that things improve for your sister, and that she will come to understand that she does not need people like that in her life.

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couldn't have said it better.

As someone who has been in the situation of having ppl want to help me, it wasn't till I wanted to be helped that it happened. Thankfully I didn't have the money to loan anyone so that wasn't an issue

But it was very hard for me to believe that I deserved better than users and abusers for many years, and even to this day, my self esteem is shot and having chronic health issues, diagnosed depression 20+ yrs ago, I still have issues with self worth.

Sounds me to your sister has many different things to learn, and hopefully she'll have support on the road when she is ready to change.

Good luck to you both.

Originally Posted by Snake_Lady

couldn't have said it better.

As someone who has been in the situation of having ppl want to help me, it wasn't till I wanted to be helped that it happened. Thankfully I didn't have the money to loan anyone so that wasn't an issue

But it was very hard for me to believe that I deserved better than users and abusers for many years, and even to this day, my self esteem is shot and having chronic health issues, diagnosed depression 20+ yrs ago, I still have issues with self worth.

Sounds me to your sister has many different things to learn, and hopefully she'll have support on the road when she is ready to change.

Good luck to you both.

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Thank you for the good words. I just want to say that I don't know you personally, but you deserve much more than users and abusers in your life. I read your posts on here and believe you are a fine person that anybody would be lucky to call a friend.

I have self esteem issues too, and I don't really have many people I would call friend and even fewer that I believe I could count on for anything. That's my problem, whereas my sister has gone to one extreme, I've gone to the other and put a wall up to keep people out.

I have no idea how this is going to resolve itself, but at least she has one good friend who doesn't want anything from her other than friendship. That is how I found out about this mess, from her friend calling me.

Originally Posted by Kailie

I know how you feel hun. I too have been brought down due to actions of my family members, and sometimes no matter how much we want to help them, they have to want to help themselves. I do hope that things improve for your sister, and that she will come to understand that she does not need people like that in her life.

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Its a rough situation to be in when you love people and they keep screwing up, isn't it? It seems as though I'm the one who always has to be strong and be there for everybody. Well, I guess somebody has to do it, and I'll cope, but I'm ready to go up there and bash a few heads let me tell you

Originally Posted by 3CatsN1Dog

Im sorry your going thru the backlash from your sisters mistakes. I know how it is but from your sisters end not yours. I did a lot of stuff to have friends even though after time showed they werent my friends they just manipulated my situation to get what they wanted. I really hope that your sister gets her stuff together and I hope you feel better. Its a crappy thing to be going thru.

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I hope you've figured out how to get those losers out of your life. I just don't get the mentality to take advantage of anybody for any reason. I couldn't do it and still live with myself. Yeah, she better get her stuff together or she is going to be out on the street, since she doesn't have a job and they just stopped her unemployment.