My Hands are Tied

My husband is overbearing and controling and so far (5 years) he has never hit me but he is very controling and mean and screams and yells all the time. That being said: You all may remember this past winter he brought in that ferral cat trapped in a cage. I told him to bring the cage to the SPCA, but NO he lets the darn thing out and my life has been a nightmare since. For one she brought in an odd strain of flea I am alergic to and I am eaten up. then she has these 4 kittens. They are 3 months old now and still here!!! This sucks! I have fallen in love with them and it is gonna rip my heart out if/when they leave. But they HAVE to leave and now!! He has people at work who want them but he just wont let them go.
Now there is a cold going around and 3 of the 4 are coughing, sneezing and weezing! And the little black one has blood in her eye and it looks horrible also they all are covered in fleas. there is NO way I can in good conceince give them away. I have made friends with the rescue/adoption lady at the SPCA and she said she will come pick them up. He refuses!
I want to do it behind his back while he is at work but I am soo afraid of his wrath so I just cant do it.
Well I just called him at work and told him they have to go and I am gonna call the lady, he said no, I have 3 of them promissed. I told him he has 1 week to get them out of here and then I am going to take over. He was pissed but I have to take some action on my own, so at least I am not going behind his back, I gave him a warning. I hope he takes that warning seriously.

Uh, wow. Sounds like you have more issues than just unwanted cats and kittens. Do you have someone safe to talk to about this? You know- your husband's behavior? Abuse doesn't have to be physical to be damaging and criminal, you know.

I just started psycotherapy and have been twice. We are dealing with the abuse issue. He is a carbon copy of my father so I guess in a sick way I am used to it. But I know its not right. But on the other hand my only option is a nasty city run nursing home and I think that would be worse.
I am completely disabled and he does do EVERYTHING and he works hard so I give him a little leeway. And he is Jekyl/Hyde personality, so there are many times where he treats me like a queen. I know it is abuse in a really bad way, but I feel stuck, but yes, I am working with a professional about it and I belong to an online support group for abuse.
Thank you so much for your concern!
Allison

I'm worried for you - and I'm worried for the kitties.

Are they not being treated for the fleas? And now the colds? Will your husband not take the kitty with the blood in her eye to the vet?

Appealing to him as regarding their health doesn't help? With the SPCA willing to take them, it would be a blessing for those poor kitties.

to you to find your path through this, and I hope the kitties won't suffer further.

I, too, am worried for you and the kitties. Doesn't he care that you are being attacked by these fleas, or that they can be deadly to kittens? Why would he bring them into the home and not care for them? He's neglecting them by denying them medical care and that's a crime. I'm sorry you have to live like this. I will keep you and those babies in my thoughts and prayers. Is there anyone you can turn to for help?

I am so sorry hun that you and these kitties are suffering like this, you shouldn't have to be "used" to this behaviour and you certainly do not have to put up with it. Is there anyone that can help you? What would he do if you were to go behing his back and get the SPCA to take the kitties? xx

Thats the million dollar question, what will he do? and I am afraid to find out. The lady is ready and willing to come get them all and I know that is the best for them cause she has a medical staff who will make them well, get their shots, get them fixed and then find them good homes, thats what they do. I want to call her so bad right now because of this babbies eye, I cry when I look at it and she is my cuddle bug and she is cuddling me as we speak.
Today I told him he has 1 week to take care of this and if he doesnt I AM calling the lady.

ok some good news for the babbies, last year my Tinker Bell had the same eye problem that the little black kitten is having and we had an ointment the vet gave us, I loaned it to a friend and hubby is going to pick it up right now!! So hopefully her eye will be better very quick. As for anything else wrong with her, no she is fine. Even with the eye problem she has not changed a bit and is a happy playful kitten.
As for the others everyone is fine except Lady blue, she has a bad cold but luckily when we went to vet with TyTy last week they slipped us 2 extra bottles of anti biotic in case someone else gets sick, so we will give it to her.
So at least medically it is not as bleak as it was. BUT... they still need to go, and NOW!
I will keep you all updaded.