Trying to be fair

Linus was my absolute world. He was my cat for almost 10 years. I can't tell you how closely we were bonded and how much he truly was my son. We had an almost telepathic connection, and was always a snuggler. When he was lonely we adopted a cat we named Mandarin - because my husband is assistant produce manager at the local grocery store and I am deathly allergic to oranges and this way I could have an orange I could hold. Mandarin wanted absolutely nothing to do with me until I had Linus euthanized from complications stemming from the disease known as tooth resorption. Mandarin and I found it UNBEARABLE to be alone without another kitty in the house, so we adopted a girl kitty from the animal shelter. Once I brought Majel into the picture, Mandarin was NOT happy for the first few months and growled to the point that he lost his voice. Now he is trying to be her friend in spurts. He even at times tries to lay down with her and touch her. She immediately wanted to be friends but after months of rejection has grown to be rather .. well indifferent about his affections if not downright "I'm not interested" then placidly goes somewhere else, and he'll slap her in the face because she's not letting him bathe her or whatnot. He seems to think she's ungrateful.

I know this is long-winded and will continue to be, but please bear with me.

I don't know if I know how to properly divide my attention between the two. I don't want either to feel neglected. How do I properly share my love with my rather slow-witted tuxedo girl kitty and my very neurotic red tabby Princess boy? What do I do to make this a happy cohesive unit? At times they will both beg for my attention. Majel is more vocal, though, so sometimes I pay more attention to her, and other times I feel Mandarin just WANTS it more, so I give it to him. But what do I do when they both want it but are fighting over me through jealousy? How do I resolve jealousy issues? I just want us to be all a big happy family and not neglect anyone. I have never had problems like this. I grew up in a big two story house with a full basement and five bedrooms. If the cat wanted you, he would find you and you would eat up his love. Otherwise, he just went about his own way or found someone else to beg love from. I am now in a 43 X 13 foot apartment with two kitties and don't want to have them feel neglected in any shape or form. Mandarin likes to curl up with me at night most nights now, which has only happened over the last few months, him TRULY wanting to be my friend and going out of his way wanting me. He has also NEVER really been a snuggler except in short spurts with my husband. His attention span is rather short. Majel however does not want to sleep with us until she has nightmares.

I just felt overwhelmed when I was trying to correct slow Majel on NOT chewing on cords around the house. They are attached to the wall, but she still tries and chews, and I felt that I overwhelmed her by being negative. And she pouted. And I really had to suck up to her, but she seemed to be reliving something bad after that, and curled up on our cart next to the computer - Mandarin's bed which she has NEVER EVER been on - to be close to me and yet pout and ask for help. It took a few minutes to get her back to her normal pretty self.

Then Mandarin, whenever I'm paying attention to Majel becomes voraciously jealous but his attention span is so short, he comes and rubs against me a few times to claim me as his own, and that Majel can't have me, and then he is done. Should I pay attention to him or just keep paying attention to Majel because she asked for it first?

I never had this problem before. It's new to me adjusting to these "quirks".

Thanks ahead for any advice.

well something they like to do is sit equally far about from my arms so I can't pet them both at the same time. So I have to tip one way or the other. That's one reason I feel like I may not being fair all the time, because of course they can't sit close enough so that I can pet both at the same time. Oh no, that would be too easy. And neither one are lap cats which saddens me. I haven't had but one lap kitty in my life and I miss it. Linus was a chest kitty and liked to perch on my chest or hip while I was sleeping, but never my lap except once when I got my wisdom teeth out an d I slept on the reclining couch for 2 weeks until I felt like I could lay in bed again.

Well actually that's a fair idea! If neither one moves then it's THEIR fault not mine! I'm all for that... Then maybe I can train them from that point to be getting petted at the same time!

I'm starting to master the "playing string" at the same time with both, but they get jumpy when they're playing if they're too near each other. Silly kids...