uncomfortable situation

A few weeks ago my friend (who looks like a tall blond supermodel) and i went to dinner at the small resturant my husband waits/bar tends at.

When we walked in my DH CLEARLY stated that the red head was his wife and we sat down and he was chatting with us all night in between tables.

During dessert the resturant manager walked right up to my friend extended her hand and said Mrs. ----- It is WONDERUL to met you you have such a great husband!!

my friend was like...umm that is his wife and pointed at me...she turned to me looked down her nose and said oh..and walked away.

OUCH! I mean I am sorry I am not the supermodel type but dang.

This is not hte first time this has happened. THe LAST resturant he worked at we had the same problem but it wasn't as obvious.

HERE is my issue...We have been invited to the owner's B-day party (I have not met her yet as she is the chef) How do I handle dealing with the REALLY rude manager? (who admitted to my DH later it was a pretty big mistake on her end) yeah no kidding.

I told my husband to leave me home and take my friend instead!!! Since they look like they should be together (my husband was told he could be a model)

He said don't be silly..but I am not looking forward to this event.

Any advice on how to survive? I can't change that i am the opposite of my beautiful friend.
I am not ugly...just not a tall thin blond supermodel!

and i am not worried about my husband but I don't know how to even respond to this woman who I am sure will come over to talk to us.

I wouldn't dwell on it. Mistakes happen! And I wouldn't call her rude for having made a mistake. She was obviously embarrassed by it and apologized.

Go to the party, put what happened behind you. No sense dwelling on it and holding a grudge against someone who made an honest mistake.

Stop rubbing her nose into her mistake and let it go.

Perhaps she was very embarrassed and didn't know how to handle the situation so she just went away. I'd give her another chance if it were me.

Obviously the intent was friendly - she came over to say "hi." I agree - she was probably feeling really awkward and embarrassed herself - and was tongue-tied and walked away. An "Oh, I'm sorry" to you at the time would have been nice - but she did apologize to DH later after recovering from the mistake.

I don't know you, but I'm wondering - are you sure the manager is rude? She may not have the best social skills in the world - but it sounds more like you're somewhat insecure, which is a shame - DH obviously loves you and thinks you're making too much of it.

No reason not to go to the party! If the manager comes over to talk, I'd just turn it into a joke. Introduce yourself - "Hi, I'm Mrs. XXXXX" and give a big fat smile. That should break the ice!

I think you are right. i will give her another chance. In my shock I didn't think that prehaps she was embarassed and didn't know how to recoup from such a mistake.

Thank you for helping me see that I need to give her another chance and that she didn't mean anything insidious by her actions just a genuine mistake. (at the time this happened alot of was happening within my family so I was REALLY reading into things just a bit to much)

PREHAPS what i will do..I just pretend like it never happened and start over. I mean I only went to the resturant once and I don't think I even remeber what she looked like. Ahh I think it was just my own insecurities during a time when I was getting a tons of negativity aimed in my direction.

Ok...I will let it go and start over.

Thanks for the preception check!

As for her being rude...I think that is just an observation of her during a shift...my friend thought was she was rude as well. But we noticed that the way she handled us when we walked through the door of the resturant. That was before she came over to talk to us..I should have been a little more clear about that! Acutally when she found out we were friends she did get a little nicer.

That's the thing about work parties - it's work that ties the people and their spouses or significant others together, not personalities. You just have to be civil to her - take the high road. If she's a rude person, obviously you're not looking for a new friend in her. Just go and have fun with DH.

I'm sorry hun. Unfortunately mistakes happen. Just go to the party, show them what a great woman you are and have fun! Don't let something like that get you down.

I could be off-base here, but it sounds to me like Ms. Manager's faux pas was intentional and not a mistake. A person apologizes after an honest mistake, but not when doing something on purpose. Maybe the manager has a thing for your husband. And she later apologized to your husband but not to you? Hmm... she is concerned about his feelings, but not yours.

I agree that it's her problem that she doesn't have manners, let it roll off your back, it's not your problem in any way so don't take it on.

Be yourself at the party and have fun, but don't trust Ms. Manager, sounds like your husband's a good guy.

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I could be off-base here, but it sounds to me like Ms. Manager's faux pas was intentional and not a mistake. A person apologizes after an honest mistake, but not when doing something on purpose. Maybe the manager has a thing for your husband. And she later apologized to your husband but not to you? Hmm... she is concerned about his feelings, but not yours.

I agree that it's her problem that she doesn't have manners, let it roll off your back, it's not your problem in any way so don't take it on.

Be yourself at the party and have fun, but don't trust Ms. Manager, sounds like your husband's a good guy.

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Hmmmm...you know that does also makes sense. When he started the job and was telling me about some of the stuff that was going on I commented to him that it sounds like the manager has a thing for him. He just rolled his eyes said yeah and and not that it matters because he has me!!

But I will be myself and have fun. When DH told her what I am making for the party she was like ohhhh --- you are sooo sweet!! (it was my DH's name not mine)

I am not worried at all DH thinks she ugly Plus he was like...now why would I go run off with someone else when I have...the CATS!!! Then he gave me a hug and said and you. (I thought the whole cat thing was REALLY funny since they came with me into this relationship)

SO I will go but I will keep an eye on that manager Lady.hmmm but everyone is correct it isn't my problem and I should at least give her another chance.

like others have said go and enjoy yourself show that your the bgger person that you wont left a silly comment like that bother you, coz then she wins if you dont go

Go and make it fun.