Some people are hard to get through to

Many of you have seen my other rants about my SIL. She is just putting multiple toppings on the cake.

My BIL bought a Jeep in 2005 or 06, cant remember. He was excited to play around with it. It started acting up in 08 and sat in the yard for awhile. Hubby got someone to fix it and get it running again and he got it back yesterday. SIL has not talked to her husband in THREE DAYS. Over this Jeep. Which has been around longer than she has been in his life.

My hubby found a 99 Jeep he can get for about $500, it was an abandoned-at-a-shop vehicle, and needs some trans work, which is what he does anyway. My BIL can sell his Jeep for ~$3500, use $500 for the new one, and put $3000 in his pocket. SIL keeps saying "we need money and he doesn't get it he has to have his stupid Jeep." Totally ignoring this little $3k profit going on. Hubby also told her to learn to drive a manual, because she spent $430 getting her Saturn fixed, it still doesn't work right, and she's put my MIL out of her new vehicle for 2 months now because she wont drive her own car. If she drove a manual, she could drive BIL's Acura and he could drive the Jeep. Now she's making excuses it will take 2+ months to learn to drive one.

Her main complaint is living with my in-laws. I had issues too, after about 2 years of living there. We stayed there for 3.5 years before buying our house, saving money and making sure we were ready to make that commitment. The entire last year we lived there, we were married. My BIL&SIL have been married three months now. She's lived there about a year and a half. Both of them work PT jobs. My BIL is going to school so he can get a FT job, make more money, and be able to buy a house. Now she wants to go to school instead of get a better job. Which is fine, if she didn't complain about my BIL having to pay for classes he goes to.

My FIL has just about had it. He had a longggg talk with BIL yesterday but wont tell my MIL what they talked about (we are twitching wanting to know!). Just that it was about the situation with her not speaking to anyone including BIL, and not coming to bed or anything, over something SO TRIVIAL. My MIL tried to talk to her but she just argues if it isnt her way. She thinks the entire family is teaming against her to side with BIL, but it's because the plan he has is going to get them ~$5000 to put away.

Everyone in the family feels like we are wasting breath. SIL wants it her way or no way. She is blatantly mean to my MIL in her house, but my MIL wants to keep peace because it's her baby who married her. No matter what hubby and I try to tell her or help her with, she makes excuses or complains it wont work, even though it DOES work.

Oy, she is so hard to get through to. I try so hard to be nice even though I hate her existence. I try and give sound advice because I've been there, done that, got out, and here's how to do it to get what you desire. Just ranting again. I told my MIL I was going to give her some advice on how NOT to treat your husband. I may have only been married 2 years but I know that you dont ignore your husband for three days over something like a Jeep. I hope he is getting a wake up call right now on how his life is going to be every time something doesn't go her way. He is learning to stand strong finally against giving in all the time, as it would only make him miserable having to give give give and never get anything for himself, when he is the one taking action to give them a better life.

Its even more sad that we don't think he actually LOVES her, just married her because she is the first girl to come into his life, want to get married, etc. And she will hang on tight to him because he is probably the only guy who will put up with her crap. Just feel bad sitting here watching my nice BIL have to go through this stuff. And needed a place to rant, feel free to ignore me

You didn't mention their agesbut I'm thinking they are both pretty young.
Your SIl sounds like she hasn't grown up yet. Sad to say but the best think for your in-laws might be for your BIL to separate from his wife. I think he is getting a taste of what his married life will be and its not pretty.

Huh? I just taught a gal I work with how to drive my stick-shift car in about 2 hours after work one day. She wanted to surprise her husband, who had ordered a new Camaro with a manual transmission. That woman (the SIL) needs a serious reality check.

The girl needs to grow up

Originally Posted by GailC

You didn't mention their agesbut I'm thinking they are both pretty young.
Your SIl sounds like she hasn't grown up yet. Sad to say but the best think for your in-laws might be for your BIL to separate from his wife. I think he is getting a taste of what his married life will be and its not pretty.

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She is 21, he is 22.

If she does not get what she wants, she will make his life crazy until she gets it. She pressured him into marrying her, because Rob proposed to me 2 years after we got together. She pestered him on why they didn't get engaged 2 years after THEY got together. So he did it a month later and shocked the crap out of all of us. My MIL tries to stay positive and say she'll learn and they trying to teach her how things should be, but she argues and fights it all the way because its not what she really wants to hear.

I told my MIL today that she should have waited until she matured to get married. I got married at 21 also, but I've always been far more mature than my age - its just the way my grandma helped raise me. I've never spent days not talking to my husband over ANYTHING. We always work things out.

When my BIL went to Maine to say goodbye to his dying aunt, she pitched a fit that he wouldn't take her too (she had to work anyway, and he rode up there with my hubby) and refused to answer any of his calls the entire weekend he was up there crying about his aunts impending death. I was there to answer calls for hubby (and admittedly crying that he had to go through it without me being next to him, and worrying about them driving 2200 miles in a weekend) and whenever I talked to hubby, my BIL would ask me if his wife was still alive because he couldn't get through to her.

I've never seen them show any affection towards one another. She constantly complains about him on facebook. He got a facebook after I told him she was accusing him of her crappy life on there in her statuses.

I agree its in their best interest to separate as they did this before SHE was ready for sure, and both my in-laws and my hubby agree, as none of us believed the wedding should have happened to begin with. But now that they ARE married, while we all agree we are waiting on the divorce, my MIL wants to keep everyone positive on their end. I know she hates seeing her youngest get treated like he is by the person who's supposed to love him regardless. She complains when no one can hear her except me. My BIL is very soft hearted, he hates seeing someone upset, so her and my FIL have been trying to have some serious talks with him about the future and what he can do/will end up with. They are only 3 months into the marriage ... poor BIL.

Is she an only child? Did she go right from her parents to marriage?

It seems to me that maybe mommy and daddy spoiled her rotten, giving her everything she ever wanted. She doesn't know how a real relationship works. She is very immature and your BIL needs to look long and hard at his relationship with her.

She has three older brothers. She's the only girl, and the only kid that graduated high school of her siblings. She did go from living with them to moving in with him when hubby and I moved into our house last February. They've lived together for 1.5 years now. She hates living there and all she can talk about is buying a house, but refuses to listen to the fact she needs a better job than delivering pizza part time and actually needs to have credit and money saved. She really doesn't understand the real world and how it works, thinks everything just falls in your lap. My BIL is the first and only guy she's ever been with, she's clueless about relationships and doesn't want to listen to anyone's advice. My in-laws got married after 4 weeks of knowing one another and have had a wonderful marriage for 26 years. I think they could probably give good relationship advice...if she would LISTEN.

She disowned her dad before the wedding, because he told her "whatever you want for the wedding you can have." Meaning, he would pay for whatever she wanted in it. She took it as "I will do all the wedding shopping stuff with you" and when he didn't take part in that, she started calling him a piece of s--t, worthless, etc. She always told my MIL she couldn't help with the wedding, ... until she needed my in-laws to pay the hefty $$$ to rent a golf course wedding and pay for the $800 cake my BIL didn't even like or want. But she wanted it so she got it, and he ended up having a cake made by a family member as a "groom's cake". She blames her dad for ruining her family, and says that its a reason she doesn't get a better job or go to school yet ... makes no sense to me. You're married now, supposedly an adult, get over it and live YOUR life.

She also wants a baby like you would not believe. 21 years old and thinks the answer to her life is a baby. "Oh I wont be alone and something will forever love me and be there." It kills her because hubby's cousin got pregnant at 20 earlier this year, and SIL wants to have one even more now. Her friend had a baby at 17 and she is jealous of her. My BIL doesn't want kids anytime soon, he's only 22 and wants to enjoy his 20s right now. I told him to be careful and make sure he is protecting himself against having kids, because you can't trust a woman who wants them and is the only one "preventing" them. My in-laws will also throw them out if she gets pregnant because they aren't getting stuck taking care of her kid while she sleeps in and continues her laziness. She once stated "well MIL will take care of the baby and buy it all its clothes." I told MIL and she's like "she's got another thing comin' to her if that's what she thinks." Of course, SIL "holds out" on my BIL if she doesn't get what she wants, and she doesn't like intimacy anyway from what he's told my MIL. So he suffers there as well.

What a train wreck my BIL got himself into. Hubby and my in-laws were having a heated discussion about her yesterday. I was surprised to finally see my FIL lose it about her.