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I'm torn. I volunteer but the staff treats me badly.

post #1 of 10
6/7/10 at 8:45am
Thread Starter 
I volunteer at a local cat shelter that is no-kill. I clean the rooms, empty the litter, mop, somtimes brush or handle the cats, but mostly janitorial stuff. I've been there a few times for a couple hours at a stretch.

The thing is, the director of the shelter is a real b$@%&. She has yelled at me once, and been very terse and eye-rolly on other occasions. I know she is stressed probably trying to run a shelter, but she's just mean.

I've seen her be mean to the other volunteers too, and raise her voice at them, so I know it's not just me.

I really like cats, and want to help (have two of my own) but I don't wanna volunteer anymore, but I know the cats need help. I'm torn and feel guilty for wanting to quit volunteering. What do i do?
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post #2 of 10
6/7/10 at 8:56am
Wow, that's a tough one. Perhaps you could have a sit down and talk with her about it? Perhaps her negative ways are just a habit, and if she had it brought to her attention she might be able to work on it.

You could just sort of...be a little self deprecating rather than confrontational....say something like "Maybe I'm too sensitive, haha, but it hurts my feelings when you yell at me and makes me not want to volunteer here any more"

Surely she would hate to lose such a good volunteer.
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post #3 of 10
6/7/10 at 10:38am
It can be hard volunteering at a shelter, everyone trying to get along, it can be stressful, etc. If you think you can talk to her, by all means please do.

If not - tell them you are leaving because you will not tolerate being treated like that, you feel you deserve better - and find someplace else to volunteer where your hard work is appreciated more.
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post #4 of 10
6/7/10 at 12:05pm
I left a shelter under when a similar thing happened to me, and I thought I was friends with the president of that shelter. She admitted to me once that the reason she wanted to work with animals was because she was didn't know how to relate to people. And her volunteers never lasted more than a year because she would berate them if they didn't live up to her standards.

There are a lot of good shelters out there and you could probably find another place to donate your time to. If you leave, tell her why you are leaving. Perhaps if enough people have the strength to do so, she might realize the effect she has on her volunteers and change someday.

Don't let this discourage you!! I found a great place to volunteer at that appreciates my contributions.
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post #5 of 10
6/7/10 at 12:45pm
Yeah I wouldn't put up with it. See if you can find another situation where you can help cats w/o being stomped on.
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post #6 of 10
6/8/10 at 5:11pm
I've been in a similar situation. I was young so I let it go. I doubt I would now. Your time is valuable and your support necessary. Whatever your decision about staying or leaving you should talk to the director. If she treats others this way and they leave then it's the animals that will really suffer, not her or the volunteers. When you talk to her, just remember that you are still serving the cats, which was (I assume) your reason for volunteering in the first place. It may not be quite what you had in mind but it may pay off in the long run more than you ever imagined. I don't know what it is about animal rescue people in general but they can often be tough to get along with.
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post #7 of 10
6/10/10 at 7:17am
Awww hun, it's terrible that you have to put up with this when you are doing something so good... Do you know if there is a board of directors or someone higher up in the chain that you could speak to about her behavior? Your best bet may be to approach some of the other employees/volunteers as people may pay more attention to a group rather than one individual. I wish you luck!
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post #8 of 10
6/10/10 at 10:44am
I. IF it continues, do leave. You will always find some nice cat group to help them. So dont suffer what you dont need to suffer.

2. When you decides you can think yourself of quitting - do talk with the director.

Such talk usually arent easy - you are so exposed...

But you are not exposed. You are already on the verge of leaving.

If she doesnt want to listen and talk - you take your hat and go. It is not even a job, you dont lose anything.
Pity of the cats, but you cant help them anyway. Instead you can help other cats, other people and yourself.

But if she DOES listen - you had won a big victory for yourself, her, the coworkers, the cats. A real Win-Win.

Nothing to lose, all to win!!!


Good luck!
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post #9 of 10
6/10/10 at 6:39pm
That is so terrible that you are being treated that way. This is a classic case of what Robert Fuller would call rankism (here's an article about it: http://www.commondreams.org/views/100700-102.htm ). The worst part is that when you and other compassionate people leave, the cats are left only with her and her ilk. I work for my DH, and he is that type of personality. (Many trial lawyers have that trait, it seems ). There have been plenty of times that I stay only for the sake of the clients. He's getting better.
Please remember that in God's eyes, you are as special as the Queen of England, or Donald Trump, or anyone - possibly even more, since you are taking such good care of His creatures. I will send mega prayers and vibes that the director gets a change of heart - it could happen: i've seen the meanest defendants you could imagine become respectful and even friendly Hang in there & keep us updated
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post #10 of 10
6/13/10 at 6:55am
I would speak to someone about it and give it another chance, but like momofmany mentioned, a lot of people have these jobs because they have no people skills and unfotunately, it takes numerous people leaving for the boards to act on it. There are other rescue groups who will appreciate the help
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