My fiance and I are planning to seek custody of our niece after we get married. Let me give you some background and hopefully someone can point in the right direction as to where to begin.
Katie is 3.5 years old. Her father is my future brother-in-law. When Katie was born, her mother was 16 and her father was 19. They got married soon after her birth and they all moved in with Katie's maternal grandmother. Her parents are now separated and contemplating divorce, and Katie still lives with her mother at her grandmother's house. The house isn't actually a house, in reality it is nothing more than a tin barn heated by a wood stove with rubber garden hoses for plumbing. If that wasn't bad enough, the inside of the house looks like an episode of Hoarders, with the exception that the houses on the show are usually cleaner. Literally there is garbage 3-4 feet high everywhere you look. She did not walk until she was almost 2 because she was kept in a Pack N Play around the clock, her parents' excuse being that they were afraid she would touch the wood stove. Developmentally she is extremely behind for her age. Her 2 year old cousin is 2 inches taller than her and 5-7 pounds heavier. At first, we all assumed the difference was because her cousin is a boy, but Katie's hardly grown at all in the year that I've known her. To me, this looks like a serious failure to thrive due to lack of proper nutrition. Her father does willingly give her mother money to care for her, but from what I've seen it is not being spent on Katie. I recently went out and bought her a ton of new clothes, socks, underwear, and shoes because she had none that fit and/or weren't stained/ripped. Katie's other grandmother (my future mother-in-law) has always had Katie on the weekends since she was 9 months old but has just started a new job, so now I have Katie once a week on Saturday. And her father lives with us, but simply doesn't care to get out of bed that early in the morning to watch his own daughter. You know it's bad when your own mother lines up another babysitter for your daughter without even considering asking you first. And when she's here on Saturdays, she's lucky to even get a "hi" and a "bye" from her father. Good thing his mom asked me instead of him. Last Saturday when I had her, I found a nasty rash under her armpits and between her shoulder blades where she sweats, that she had itched bloody. That tells me that her mother isn't bathing her adequately during the week. On top of that she had a pretty severe sunburn that had blistered in places and was starting to peel. My mother-in-law usually is the only one who clips Katie's finger and toe nails (BTW, her toenails are ingrown and warped from wearing shoes that are too small) but just had shoulder surgery and has a hard time doing it, so now I do that. Her grandmother and I also cut her hair. If we don't do these things, it doesn't get done. I have not witnessed this for myself, but my mother-in-law has, that when Katie is with her mother during the week, she spends a majority of her time locked in her room. She wears diapers at home even though is potty-trained so she doesn't have an excuse to be let out. The diaper part I have seen myself, and it takes all weekend with me and her grandmother to get her back in the habit of using the toilet, just to go home and wear diapers again. She doesn't talk very well for her age at all, in fact her 2 year old cousin speaks better than she does. He also knows his numbers up to 20 and his ABCs and Katie doesn't know any of those things.
I cannot stand by and see this happen anymore. My other brother-in-law and his wife have threatened to take custody of Katie before but haven't gone through it because they know that Katie's father has enough dirt on his brother to keep that from happening, and they don't want to risk Katie ending up in foster care or possibly having their own child taken away. Even though Katie's parents obviously couldn't care less about her, we are sure that they definitely won't go down without a fight. They will try to take everyone down with them if possible just because they are young and immature and will want to try and make everyone else look as unfit as they are for the sake of their own pride. This will mean war to them, regardless of how their actions affect Katie's well-being.
My fiance and I currently live with my father-in-law and Katie's father also lives with us. We are living here because it's impossible to find an apartment to rent when you have 10 cats and 2 dogs, and my fiance's credit is all mixed up with other family members' so we can't get approved for a mortgage loan until we straighten it out (and that has turned out to be a major PITA). I am also 14 weeks pregnant. Obviously we are going to be married before we seek custody of Katie, and we want to wait until either we have our own house or Katie's father moves out because we do not want her around him, nor do we want to put stress on my father-in-law if we go for it while everyone is still living under his roof.
We keep our house exceptionally clean and because it's uber-cat-proof, it's also safe for a child. Financially, we are already contributing a great deal to Katie so I know we can afford to take her on full-time, and I am already more of a parent to her than either her mother or father could ever hope to be. The only thing that Katie's parents could possibly bring up in court that could affect their decision is the number of pets we have, but one visit to our home will prove that they are well maintained and not a danger to any child.
I became livid last week upon seeing the rashes on Katie's body and started keeping notes of everything. I am also going to get a disposable camera and start taking pictures of things like that, I know the scabs from the rash and the sunburn will still be visible this Saturday when I see her so better late than never to document that. Other than that I have no idea where to start. Do I hire a lawyer first or contact CPS first? Should I speak to her parents and let them know my intentions or just spring it on them? What course of action would best please the courts? Help!!!
Katie is 3.5 years old. Her father is my future brother-in-law. When Katie was born, her mother was 16 and her father was 19. They got married soon after her birth and they all moved in with Katie's maternal grandmother. Her parents are now separated and contemplating divorce, and Katie still lives with her mother at her grandmother's house. The house isn't actually a house, in reality it is nothing more than a tin barn heated by a wood stove with rubber garden hoses for plumbing. If that wasn't bad enough, the inside of the house looks like an episode of Hoarders, with the exception that the houses on the show are usually cleaner. Literally there is garbage 3-4 feet high everywhere you look. She did not walk until she was almost 2 because she was kept in a Pack N Play around the clock, her parents' excuse being that they were afraid she would touch the wood stove. Developmentally she is extremely behind for her age. Her 2 year old cousin is 2 inches taller than her and 5-7 pounds heavier. At first, we all assumed the difference was because her cousin is a boy, but Katie's hardly grown at all in the year that I've known her. To me, this looks like a serious failure to thrive due to lack of proper nutrition. Her father does willingly give her mother money to care for her, but from what I've seen it is not being spent on Katie. I recently went out and bought her a ton of new clothes, socks, underwear, and shoes because she had none that fit and/or weren't stained/ripped. Katie's other grandmother (my future mother-in-law) has always had Katie on the weekends since she was 9 months old but has just started a new job, so now I have Katie once a week on Saturday. And her father lives with us, but simply doesn't care to get out of bed that early in the morning to watch his own daughter. You know it's bad when your own mother lines up another babysitter for your daughter without even considering asking you first. And when she's here on Saturdays, she's lucky to even get a "hi" and a "bye" from her father. Good thing his mom asked me instead of him. Last Saturday when I had her, I found a nasty rash under her armpits and between her shoulder blades where she sweats, that she had itched bloody. That tells me that her mother isn't bathing her adequately during the week. On top of that she had a pretty severe sunburn that had blistered in places and was starting to peel. My mother-in-law usually is the only one who clips Katie's finger and toe nails (BTW, her toenails are ingrown and warped from wearing shoes that are too small) but just had shoulder surgery and has a hard time doing it, so now I do that. Her grandmother and I also cut her hair. If we don't do these things, it doesn't get done. I have not witnessed this for myself, but my mother-in-law has, that when Katie is with her mother during the week, she spends a majority of her time locked in her room. She wears diapers at home even though is potty-trained so she doesn't have an excuse to be let out. The diaper part I have seen myself, and it takes all weekend with me and her grandmother to get her back in the habit of using the toilet, just to go home and wear diapers again. She doesn't talk very well for her age at all, in fact her 2 year old cousin speaks better than she does. He also knows his numbers up to 20 and his ABCs and Katie doesn't know any of those things.
I cannot stand by and see this happen anymore. My other brother-in-law and his wife have threatened to take custody of Katie before but haven't gone through it because they know that Katie's father has enough dirt on his brother to keep that from happening, and they don't want to risk Katie ending up in foster care or possibly having their own child taken away. Even though Katie's parents obviously couldn't care less about her, we are sure that they definitely won't go down without a fight. They will try to take everyone down with them if possible just because they are young and immature and will want to try and make everyone else look as unfit as they are for the sake of their own pride. This will mean war to them, regardless of how their actions affect Katie's well-being.
My fiance and I currently live with my father-in-law and Katie's father also lives with us. We are living here because it's impossible to find an apartment to rent when you have 10 cats and 2 dogs, and my fiance's credit is all mixed up with other family members' so we can't get approved for a mortgage loan until we straighten it out (and that has turned out to be a major PITA). I am also 14 weeks pregnant. Obviously we are going to be married before we seek custody of Katie, and we want to wait until either we have our own house or Katie's father moves out because we do not want her around him, nor do we want to put stress on my father-in-law if we go for it while everyone is still living under his roof.
We keep our house exceptionally clean and because it's uber-cat-proof, it's also safe for a child. Financially, we are already contributing a great deal to Katie so I know we can afford to take her on full-time, and I am already more of a parent to her than either her mother or father could ever hope to be. The only thing that Katie's parents could possibly bring up in court that could affect their decision is the number of pets we have, but one visit to our home will prove that they are well maintained and not a danger to any child.
I became livid last week upon seeing the rashes on Katie's body and started keeping notes of everything. I am also going to get a disposable camera and start taking pictures of things like that, I know the scabs from the rash and the sunburn will still be visible this Saturday when I see her so better late than never to document that. Other than that I have no idea where to start. Do I hire a lawyer first or contact CPS first? Should I speak to her parents and let them know my intentions or just spring it on them? What course of action would best please the courts? Help!!!
