How long is too long?

Its been about 2 1/2 years since Zorro left me, and I still can't go more than a week without breaking down. Not a day goes by when I don't think about him and wish he were still hear. I just miss him so much that sometimes its hard to function.
I know I'm getting a little better. I don't hate cats anymore (I have two new babies now who I love to death) but its still not the same.
Its been espeically hard since I found my new kitten Chemul outside in a scrap pile. She reminds me so much of Zorro that sometimes I even call her by his name, then I remember that she's not Zorro. He's gone and never comming back.
I can't imagine that its healthy to be pinning over him for so long, but I just can't seem to let go. He was a very special boy and I still miss him terribly.
Is there something wrong with me?? Why can't I seem to let him go?

There's no right or wrong way to mourn and no prescribed time when it's supposed to be all better. Our pets are our family and it hurts so much to lose them. They leave a hole.

Sometimes people need a little help to learn to let go. Maybe you should talk to someone? After a couple of years there should be way more smiles than tears.

Hang in there!

I really do not have anyone to talk to about him. My parents loved him, but to them he was 'just a cat'. They would not understand why I still feel the way I do.

Non-pet people don't get it.

I was thinking more along the lines of a support group. Call the humane society in your area and see if they can refer you. Sometimes just verbalizing your feelings to people who have been there can help you process your grief. Heck, just talk about it here or blog. Getting it out and working through the feelings is the important thing. You have to accept the loss before you can move on.

Sometimes life has a way of stinking big time, but there's beauty in it too and in the memories of our loved ones who aren't here anymore. You will be ok. Give Chemul lots of kisses.

I hope you will stick around here and try to talk with some folks here. We have all been through what you are talking about. We understand how much it hurts. My soulmate cat has been gone five years this July. Do I still miss him. Yes very much. Do I still cry. Yes at times, I do. I believe when you are a true cat person, you love them very deeply and they are a very important part of your life. When we lose them, life is never the same. We just learn to live without them. I hope you will spend a lot of time loving on this little cat you have now. And I hope somehow you will reach the stage where your memories bring you comfort more than sorrow.

You are very normal....my beloved Max left 2 yrs and 2months ago and my eyes still water at the thought of him. He was my little soulmate too.

Do you have happy thoughts of Zorro? I'm sure you do think of him and all his special qualities without crying....eventually the good thoughts nudge out the crying...think of how much better you are since he left....it all takes time.

Talking it, writing it, blogging it.....as others have said, helps too. Sometimes just sitting by yourself..talk out loud to him....have long conversations with him....who's going to be hurt by doing this.....you are going to benefit. Often, when my current cats do something that Max would do....I'll tell them all about Max and how they do things like him. It helps to verbalize your feelings.

Your heart still hurts where he left a hole....it will fill up with memories and then your heart will sing when you think of him. We have all been through it. We love our pets to the ends of the Earth....we can't help it !!!!! We love them forever and ever.....

I do have many good memories of him, but most of them are sad ones. The whole two years that I had him were filled with grief, worry, and sadness. He was so sick all the time, and I was always worried that he wouldn't get better. Money was also always an issue. I was always worried and stressing about how to come up with the money for his next vet bill.
I love him with all my heart, but there are not very many good memories of him. He was always very sick, and it was so hard to watch.

He still visits though, which helps me very much. I think he knows that I still need him. He 'stayed' in the house for two months after he was pts. I would see him walking around the house at night, he would jump up on my bed throughout the night (something he had never been able to due when he was living), and I would hear him call out of me all the time.
I think he was trying to let me know that he was ok, but I just didn't understand. I thought I was going crazy.
A while later, he visited me in a dream. We talked for a long time. He told me that he loved me, and missed me. He also said that he was really happy because he was no longer in pain, and that he didn't blame me for putting him to sleep. He thanked me for taking him in and looking after him.
It made me feel much better after this visit. I no longer blame myself, and I know that he is happy, but I still miss him so much.

He also visits every once in a while just to walk around my new appartment, and call out to me occasionally.

Please feel free to think me crazy, I did for the longest time, but I have no doubt in my mind that this is actually his spirit trying to comfort me.

You're not crazy. Grief is what it is. Ootay has been gone just over a year and sometimes I miss her so much it's like it was yesterday.

Nursing an ill cat for a long time forms a deep special bond like no other. You spend all your time energy and thought on taking care of this other life who relies on you, and then..suddenly all that work is no longer needed. I was still waking up every night at 3 am and 6 am for months after Ootay left us. I was still mentally arranging my day around her care, even when she no longer needed me. To this day I STILL sometimes find myself planning my evening around giving her sub q fluids.

Then there's sudden traumatic loss, also hard to get over. I had to let Baby go to the Bridge January 2, 1998, and thinking of him, of that time in particular I mean, still brings me to tears. he developed Acute Kidney Failure brought on by stress, stress in my life and home that I had no control over. He was my soul mate, and I relied heavily on his comfort during a terrible time, and then, suddenly he was gone.

It does seem unfortunate that Chemul looks so much like your beloved boy but as time goes on she will let her own personality shine through, you will bond with her, and stop making comparisons.

Be easy on yourself. It will get better. Would making some sort of memorial be helpful for you? Some people I know plant a special bush or tree in honor of a beloved pet (especially if they are burying the pet, or the pet's ashes, under it) Some make a scrap book, or write a journal about life with the beloved Bridge Angel.

I made a thank you card with a Collage of Ootay, for my vet. It ripped my heart out while I was doing it, and when I see it on the bulletin board above her desk in her office, my heart squeezes so hard it hurts, but I felt oddly proud of myself for the accomplishment, even though it hurt doing it.

Everyone grieves in his or her own way. Keep talking to us. It can help.

hugs

I still miss my darling Fred every day. It has been 5 years since I had to let him go due to illness. He was my constant companion for 18 years and I don't think I will never not miss him.
I found a tiny kitten in the road shortly after Fred passed. He would bring home kittens he would find and raise them, and I feel that he brought me my Pepper. I honored his wishes by keeping her and making her part of the family. She has been a great comfort, and a constant source of headbutts, kitty kisses, and silly antics that give me lots of giggles.
While we can never replace our beloved cats, we can make new memories with one that will otherwise end up homeless or worse. I am so glad you found Chemul and were able to rescue her. She will find her own place in your heart.