help please

I have to honestly say that first mistake was not slowly introducing them.....Marigold sounds like a pretty laid back, neutral kitty..... and Haylo sounds like a territorial, physically abusive bully. They need to be separated, Marigold needs reassurance and protection. Imagine you are so terrified and tormented, you pee your pants, this is what she is going through........She doesn't want to do this.

Are both Haylo & Marigold fixed?

There are several things you can try. There is a product called Feliway that often helps cats in stressful situations. You may need to fully separate them & do a re-introduction, I'm trying to find a good thread on doing that right now.

ETA: This is all I can find right now - an article on introducing cats.

Absolutely! This is the best thing you can do to help her feel safe and comfortable. I'm sure she will confirm this by using her litter, eating, and drinking where she feels safe, and most important will want some lovin....

Sometimes with Feliway the difference is almost immediate, I guess I've seen results in about a day (cats are more relaxed).

Feliway will take some time to work but it is worth it. YOu will need one diffuser for every 400 square feet in the home.

In addition to the excellent advice already given I want to add that Marigold should have a check up at the vet. Stress causes illness in cats and she could be developing a urinary tract infection from all the stress she has been through, moving, meeting the two new cats and now meeting Halyo and him beating her up.

(It's not that Marigold can't tolerate Haylo. It's that HE is terrorizing HER.)

Keep us posted!

Thanks for the update and I'm glad things are starting to go better for Marigold. I wouldn't recommend forcing it that way any more though. Just let them proceed at their own pace.

Definitely, let them proceed at their own pace. What you can do to help is work on scent swapping and positive reinforcement. You can also use "time outs" for Haylo at this point, to help reinforce behavior you expect.

It works like this: cats learn best by emphasizing the positives. They're also very "what's in it for me" kind of animals, so the first thing to do is work on getting each of them to associate the other one with good things. Get some new toys, get some new treats they love - rub each of them all over with a couple of clean rags or wash cloths (keep track of which one smells like who!) - and when you feed them, put a cloth that smells like the other one under the dish.

Give each one alone play time (this also helps work off stress). When done using the interactive wand toy, put really yummy treats down on a cloth that smells like the other cat. Reinforce the idea to Marigold that Haylo also means good things, not just being attacked - and reinforce to Haylo that Marigold means fun and treats.

When they're near each other and he's not being aggressive, tell them WHAT good kitties they are! SUCH good kitties! Whenever Haylo walks into a room where Marigold is and he ignores her, tell him WHAT a good boy he is!

...and when you leave the room, and you hear him go after her, go back in there, say NO HAYLO very firmly (not shouting). Pick him up, and as you carry him to the bathroom, tell him you're taking him for a time out because Marigold is NOT a toy and he has got to stop scaring her. Shut him in there for five minutes. When five minutes is up, open the door without looking at him or saying anything and just walk away.

This way you reinforce the good things, and Haylo learns (over time, this isn't something that works overnight) that attacking Marigold gets him closed off, alone and ignored.

I'd also consider buying some Bach's Rescue Remedy (a particular type and mixture of flower essences, designed to help reduce stress). Add drops to their fresh water every day when you clean the water dish. I'd also dab a little under Marigold's chin - it will work with the Feliway to help reduce her stress. It may also help calm Haylo down a bit.

I'll be honest and admit I've not read all the replies, so this might have already been stated. Use a towel to "herd"' the offender away from Marigold. Just drape it between the two cats and then direct him away into another room or another area of the same room. Keep doing this as long as he continues to attack her.

There is no way to get him to understand what he did and why it's wrong. I still don't think you should put him in the crate, just redirect him and engage him in appropriate play.

Yes, that. It's not wrong to him, after all, he is just reacting and being who he is. I'm glad things are going better, just give it more time.

Are you using feliway plug in diffusers? Or rescue remedy?

Don't force them and don't try to hurry the situation. Just let them be and they'll work it out. If it gets a bit rough for them, use the towel to separate them and redirect their attention. You can also clap your hands and firmly say "NO!", not yelling just use a firm tone. I've also used a Coke can filled with a few dry beans with the top taped shut. Just rattle it to get their attention, then tell them "NO!". Sometimes just the distraction of the noise will cause them to calm down.

Don't do that anymore. Let them adjust at their own pace. Things are going fine! if you try to rush or interfere it may make things go in the other direction.

Usually when a cat pees or poos outside the box, they're trying to tell you something - not out of spite or anger, but because something is wrong and the box is 'hurting' them.

I strongly suggest you get your girl into the vet for a UTI check - stress can bring these on, such as having a new cat in her home, daddy seeming upset with her, all that. Tell the vet the entire story, but I wouldn't be surprised if she does have a UTI, her bladder is irritated, she feels like she has to pee all the time and it hurts - and her box hurts her when she pees, so she's trying to find somewhere else it doesn't hurt.

Cats really truly don't react well to disciplining or negative reinforcement - they can learn from positive reinforcement, such as was suggested in other posts, and letting them go at their own pace.

In the meantime, I'd call the vet now for an urgent appointment, get some enzyme cleaners to clean up her carrier and other accident spots, get a couple of new litter boxes, just in case she associates the old ones with pain, and if you can move the boxes a bit, that's great as well. And, I always suggest Cat Attract litter if there's been a box issue - it worked well with my boy, and many people have had success with it. But, please, I beg you, get her into the vet for a check up.

you should really try the old towel trick. it's used between dogs and cats when they aren't getting along to releave some of the stress and gently ease them into getting to know each other. put the two cats in two separate rooms. give them each a small hand towel. Have them roll on it, sleep on it, eat on it, and play with it if possible. after 24 hrs, switch towels and repeat steps again. switch towels again and again. while doing the towel trick, give each cat a toy or two to play with. have them play with it as much as possible for 24 hrs, then switch toys. play with the swapped toys for a little bit, then take a brake and play again. You can do this for as long as you like. It gets them used to each other's smells which might make things easier the next time they see each other.

This is great news! Giving them treats when they are getting along is also really good, it not only helps them bond with interaction as equals with you, but encourages them that when they are calm together, they are rewarded.....

That's exactly what I did when I introduced my boy - I kept telling my girl that she was the love of my life, and I always fed her first - but, I also started feeding them in close proximity to each other, and whenever they were in the same room and not hissing, I made sure they both got a treat.