at a loss with my needy little man.

jkim

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hi friends,

i am in a difficult situation right now. i adopted my little baby about a year ago, and he has been pretty great. we've had some good cuddling days and nights, and keep each other company. as we've spent time together, i've realized that he gets really stressed out when i'm not home, or not paying attention to him. it's to the point where even if i don't get out of bed when he wants me to, he'll act out... sometimes he tears things, sometimes he poops on furniture, sometimes he just cries. it's gotten to the point where i can't leave the house for more than a few hours - even if i go away for the night and have a roommate watch him, i can still expect to come home to poop on the couch while i'm gone. yesterday, i was gone for the day, and he had done it twice.

i have tried everything. extra litterboxes, trying different diets (no grain, only wet, dry and wet, etc etc), taken him to the vet (paid a LOT of money for fancy food that they promised would help...? it didn't), got covered boxes, then uncovered boxes... seclusion... feliway - i have tried it ALL.

he just needs someone who can pay attention to him all day - someone who can be home all day and love him. in august i am starting a job where i will be working 12-14 hours a day and know that he will be miserable with me gone... and i will be miserable to have to wash the couch every day.

i feel really at a loss now.
i want to find him a new great home with someone who will love him... maybe someone who stays at home a lot... he'd be a great companion to someone who stays in a lot. he's SO affectionate and loving... but so needy! i can't love him in the ways he needs and wants.

i could bring him to a shelter... but i worry that someone else will take him, get frustrated, and bring him back.... i don't want my boy put down because of his behaviour! he is such a sweetheart.

what would you do?
 

kluchetta

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Frankly, if you have the resources for vet bills, etc. I would get him a feline companion. A lot of cats are loners and just like to sleep all day, but there are also cats that need a companion, which I think yours is one.
 
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jkim

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I've thought about that, and my partner has suggested this, too... but I don't think it's realistic for me to have another kitten companion. I've been able to support my kitten financially, but I think two would be too much....
 

mbjerkness

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Originally Posted by kluchetta

Frankly, if you have the resources for vet bills, etc. I would get him a feline companion. A lot of cats are loners and just like to sleep all day, but there are also cats that need a companion, which I think yours is one.
I agree I think your kitty is just lonely. I have cat Lucky she cried if I left the room. When I found our boy Gus. Lucky bonded to him right away. Now the only time she cried is when she can't find Gus. She is so much happier and so is the rest of the family
 
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jkim

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I know he's a needy little bugger. The problem is that I can't be home with him all day, and I don't think I can have another pet right now in my life. I know it was irresponsible of me to assume that adopting a cat would be a seamless process and that there wouldn't be problems... but this seems like a bit of an extreme case.

I guess I'm debating what to do in terms of finding him a new home. I've thought about it for a few weeks now, and am starting to realize that it's selfish for me to keep him here where he isn't happy.

I just don't know how to go about this in a way that is not terrible for him... and I don't know where in boston to go to talk to someone about this.
 

darlili

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I had one cat, and adopted #2 to keep #1 company. I've found it's making sure I have enough for vet bills is the key thing - food, litter, toys, not really all that much more.

I can tell you that if you bring him to a shelter and mention the box issues, that might be very very bad for him - to the point he might be considered unadoptable. Do you have any family, or friends, whom you know very very well, who might offer a good home to him?
 

fifi1puss

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Whatever shelter you adopted him from should be able to take him back. I know the three seperate shelters I got my cats from had me sign an agreement to return them to the shelter if I ever couldn't keep them. One was the MSPCA that the aboce poster mentioned.
They adopted him out once (to you) I am sure they will be able to adopt him out again. He may need a house that can provide more feline companionship.
 
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