I'm working on socializing a 8-10 month old feral boy. Tips?

missamy018

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
May 2, 2010
Messages
42
Purraise
11
I've been feeding a little feral cat since the middle of January. It wasn't until about the middle of February that he had a schedule and came around at the same times every day. At that time I thought he was probably 6 months old or so, and I started thinking about trapping him and bringing him in. I lived in a studio though and already had 2 cats, so I really didn't have room. I ended up moving 2 buildings down the street to a bigger place at the beginning of March. I took food to him there for a few days and thought he'd figure out where I moved to pretty easily; there's just one house in between where I moved to and where I lived. But he wasn't getting it. At that time I decided to try to trap him so I wouldn't have to worry about him and so I wouldn't have to walk down and feed him every morning and night. However, the neighbor's outside cats ruined it for me right as he was getting ready to walk into the trap. A few days after that he learned where I moved to and started his new routine.
I was really busy for a while, so I put off trapping him. Then he disappeared on me for about a week. It wasn't until this happened that I realized how much he meant to me. I couldn't sleep, kept checking outside for him, monitored the food bowl. He didn't show at his normal times, so I just knew something had happened to him. Thursday evening I looked out the window and there he was! I sprung into action, put the trap out, and he went in. I put him in my bathroom, he went wild, but then settled in the cabinet. I got him neutered, tested, vaccinated, microchipped and everything on Saturday.

I have cried and cried over this cat because he is so scared and distressed. He howls and cries off and on. I want to do what is best for him and I feel terrible for scaring him and traumatizing him so badly. I'm more than willing to put the time into gaining his trust and socializing him, but I keep doubting whether or not it's the right thing to do because he's so terrified right now. But I know it's only been 3 days. I guess I just need reassurance from other feral rescuers! I'm also looking for any advice and tips to help him calm down and gain his trust.

I have socialized one other feral before, but he was younger (about 14 weeks) and I didn't trap him and do the initial process with getting him used to the indoors. I just want to make my new little guy's transition as calm and easy and possible, and I want to be sure that I'm doing the right thing.
 

kscatlady

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Messages
1,847
Purraise
1
Location
Mulvane, Kansas
Confining him to a room is your best bet. He'll be more comfortable in a confined space and it will be much easier for you to hang out with him. Just try and spend as much time near him but not bothering him as you can. Talk very softly to him. Don't make eye contact with him, it will scare him. In a few weeks get some meat baby food (chicken or beef, make sure no onion powder is in the ingredients) and try to get him to eat that off a spoon. (Haven't tried that, but I read about it)

After he's used to that, maybe he'll lick it off your fingers. Then try petting him when with your other hand. Most of all, be very patient. It will take a long time. My MIL took one of my outside kitties, she was a feral born, but very tame, and even though she was very tame it still took her about three months to adjust. A scared kitty will take even longer.

My MIL put Maggie in her bedroom and pretty much just lived in there with her. Did every thing in there with Maggie. Then one day, Maggie was acting interested in the bedroom door, Nancy opened it and Maggie strolled out. And she's just gotten better ever since.
 

icklemiss21

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 14, 2005
Messages
16,465
Purraise
20
Location
in the land of poutine and ice
Three days is nothing and socialising a cat that has spent that long untrusting of people can be a long road, but it is rewarding. Only you can 'see' him and know if he is at the point where he can be socialised, some truly are better off being TNRed because its such a stress on them to be indoors.

http://www.straypetadvocacy.org/soci...feral_cat.html
This link has lots of tips on socialising a feral cat, and is not just based on young kittens

I can't highly recommend
# 6. Work on building trust. Food = trust. Feed her on a regular schedule and stay in the room while she eats.
It has worked with pretty much every feral I have been in contact with (be it trusting me enough to get them into a trap or become a pet). Leave him to have some time alone in a room, get used to the sounds and smells etc then go in but ignore him, do your own thing in the room (I often go in and sit and read aloud so they get more used to noise) and let them come to you.

Each time you go in, bring food or a treat and leave it close to you but not so close they are scared to get it

Once he is more comfortable with you, play with him using a fishing pole type toy so there is still a distance between you
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
Thank you for rescuing this kitty!


There are two active threads here that will be VERY helpful to you!

This is one: Taming a feral 2 year old kitty boy

And this one: Trapping for a second time In this thread, jump to page 3, when kitty was trapped, vetted, and then released into Killerapple's safe room.


It will take time - but at 8 to 10 months, it will happen. His previous experiences with people will affect this - but keeping a regular schedule will help. The very first hurdle is trust - and he just needs to understand you want NOTHING from him - just to meet his needs for food, a clean litter box, and water. Food is your friend. Lots of further tips in the sources that have already been provided - but he doesn't know love (or probably play) yet, so don't force it. Let him take his time to make the safe room his space.
If there's a window, that's perfect. Make sure he has access to a stable perch where he can look outside. This does not mean he wants outside - it gives him something to watch to help absorb his nervous energy. Make sure he has safe places to hide - this will help him feel safer.

The link Eithne provided and the two threads should help you immeasurably. But of course we're here for more questions and LOTS of support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

lovewhiskers

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
426
Purraise
2
Location
Stow, OHIO
Hi, I too know very well how it's like to cry and cry and cry over a terrified feral kitty you bring in your home. This forum is wonderful for advice and support, I have a lot of admiration and respect for so many of the cat lovers active here.

Our Sweet Pea has come such a long way in four months. It took a tremendous amount of work and dedication and patience. The process of socializing him and introducing him to our other kitties has deepened my appreciation for all the cat rescuers of the world, more than words can say.

Spending time with him in his room gently talking to him, reading to him will help a lot. It will work out

Marina
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

missamy018

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
May 2, 2010
Messages
42
Purraise
11
Thanks for your support!

I've got him back on a feeding schedule. The first few days I left him with food all the time, but now I'm feeding him morning and evening like he was used to outside. I sit with him after I give him the food, but he won't eat it until I leave. I always sat with him outside in the evenings after feeding him. He went from not eating until I came in the house to letting me be about 4 feet away from him while he ate. So I know he'll slowly come around. When I sit with him I put my hand out and let it rest near him so he can see that it's not a scary thing that's going to hurt him.

He howls when he hears my other cats meow. I don't know if he's screaming "Help meee!!" or if hearing them scares him. When he was outside I noticed that he avoided all the other cats. The neighbor's have outside cats and there are a few strays. They're all boys and they all fight a lot, but I noticed my little guy always ran away from the fights. He didn't want any part in it. I saw him play with one of them once though, a young cat that belongs to the neighbors. I think they're about the same age. After I saw that I wondered if he somehow might belong to them (even though their other cats are very people friendly) so I asked but they said he wasn't theirs. They hadn't seen him before. I actually asked a few people but most hadn't seen him because he usually only came out at night and if he was out in the day, it was only on the side of my house. I'm so glad I finally trapped him though. I hope he does well inside with me.
 

killerapple

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Messages
742
Purraise
1
Location
Ohio
Hi there!
Wow, reading about how he was getting close to you outside reminded me of me and Patches. Patches is a feral kitty about 3 years old that had some babies in my yard last summer. I TNRed her, then fed her for a few months to see if she would come around and then decide if I should bring her inside or not. She used to run to another yard when she would see me, then it got to the point where she would eat about a foot from me.
Since she's been inside and in a new scary environment, all of that really regressed back to square 1. She's been inside about 5 months now and within the past month, she's starting to get more confident and start to come towards me a bit more again. Still a ways to go - she is nowhere near as confident as she was outside, but she's getting better and better.

Question for you - have you tried using a Feliway diffuser? I have one of those in Patches' room and it's great. I order the refills on Amazon so it's way cheaper than the store. I also was using Rescue Remedy (drops you put in their water) for a while.

It is really about routine, trust, timing, and trusting your gut on some things. And getting positive associations with you.

Are you doing scent swapping? And that includes yourself
Putting a sweaty tshirt by kitty's food, etc.

Try to find kitty's sweet spot to the tummy - what kitty goes nuts for, and use that as an incentive to associate you with awesome things again.

He'll do great.
It takes time and can be a very emotional journey, especially when you doubt yourself and worry kitty is unhappy. We're here to help. I'm still learning, but will help when I can!
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
He will do well inside with you.
The most important thing is just have no expectations (so hard when we just want to love all over them!) and turn off your "clock," and hang out in the room - doing stuff down on the floor so you're not threatening, and not paying attention to him. Actually, it is the NOT paying attention to him and reading out loud, sewing, singing, put a towel down on the floor and fold your laundry, work on a laptop - bring in a TV and watch a show - whatever you can think of - just letting him watch you and see how non-threatening you are will go a long way to earning his trust.
 

krz

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Aug 24, 2008
Messages
594
Purraise
13
Good for you for rescueing this boy!!! I know exactly how you feel-caring for them while they are outside and worrying constantly about them. But if you have time and patience, things will work out. He just needs to feel he can trust you and once he does all of your hard work will pay off.

You will get such good advice and great support and we all love hearing updates.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #10

missamy018

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
May 2, 2010
Messages
42
Purraise
11
The other day I took the sheet off my bed and put it in the cabinet where he hides for the scent swapping. Today I bought some rescue remedy and used it for the first time tonight. He also ate while I was sitting with him tonight. First time he didn't wait until I left the room.


His meowing is unreal! It's mostly at night that he cries. All night, off and on. He meows and meow and meows. It's been worse the last 2 nights. I know that the reason, in general, is that he's scared and wants out. But does anyone have anymore insight? It's mostly at night (consistently). He does it during the day too, but not as much. And right after I leave the room after sitting with him he starts howling.
 

killerapple

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Messages
742
Purraise
1
Location
Ohio
Aw, that's great!


I wonder if he's crying because he's lonely. Have you tried playing music in his room? Or talk radio? I always had NPR on for the kittens when I rescued them.
And I play harp music when I visit Patches -

http://www.harpofhope.com/
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #12

missamy018

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
May 2, 2010
Messages
42
Purraise
11
I'm wondering the same thing about him being lonely. But then it seems weird because he's used to be all alone outside. But inside he's a little prisoner and at night everything is quiet since I'm sleeping. I'm going to start playing some music for him. I think I read here that classical music is good for ferals. I'm going to re-locate him to my bedroom soon, hopefully. There's a window in there and I think it'll be better for him because he'll be around me more. I have a sick foster kitty in there right now though, so I have to wait until I can move her out.
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
If you can afford it, I'd really recommend purchasing the Harp of Hope through the link killerapple provided. Harp music is particularly calming to cats.
Some classical music can really get you stirred up - not all of it is helpful for reducing stress!
 

killerapple

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Messages
742
Purraise
1
Location
Ohio
Patches absolutely hated opera - it would freak her out and she got very hissy.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #15

missamy018

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
May 2, 2010
Messages
42
Purraise
11
Update on my little wild boy! His name is JB, by the way.

Last night when I went to feed him and sit with him, my former feral cat Norman went in with me. When JB saw him his little eyes lit up! After a few minutes he came out of the cabinet and was putting his little butt in the air like they do when the want some love. But it was all directed towards Norman. He desperately wanted a friend! I was amazed that he came right out of the cabinet with me sitting there. I stuck my hand out and he came up to it and sniffed it! Later he let me touch him a little. Good stuff!

I told Norman that he used to be like that once and he has to help JB through this. He's not thrilled with it, but he'll get used to being a big brother.
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
We did that too - constantly tell the resident kitties that they were homeless once too, and they had to help the new kitty understand it's all ok now.


That's great!
 
Top