You have so many friends here and so many who care about you... as everyone else has said, we're here for you to turn to!!!!
My hubby's parents got divorced when he was six, and his Dad got married three more times after that. At 8 he ran away from home and made it from Chicago to Denver! At 15 he left home. He had no adults in his life to turn to, and he hung out with a gang of thugs and got involved with drugs. In the end, the only way he changed his fate was by joining the army.
Please don't let this happen to you! You are way way way way way way to smart for that, sweetie!!!!!!! In so many ways you are so far beyond your years... and that probably just makes it harder on you, not easer. But it doesn't matter how old you are when something like this happens... it hurts and it's difficult. But when you don't already live on your own, it causes even more turmoil. My heart aches for you, and please feel free to lean on all of us or any of us as you see fit! I'm so glad your nana is there for you. ...and even if you don't get much time to spend on TCS, please make sure you get plenty of time with your kitties!!!!
We love you Sam, and don't ever feel sorry for needing a shoulder ... or for needing to vent. We all need, and we're here for each other.