Humor

A man heard a commotion in his backyard one night and looked out to see three men breaking into his tool shed. When he called the police, the dispatcher asked if the burglars were in his home. He said no, only in the shed. He was then told that there were no police available just then, so he should lock his doors and wait, they would send a squad car when one became available.

The fuming man hung up, counted to thirty and called back. He said, "I'm the one who just called about burglars in my yard. No need to send a car, I've just shot them."

Within two minutes, there were three squad cars and an armed response team in his driveway. They arrested the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said, "I thought you said that you had shot them."

The man replied, "I thought you said there were no police available."

Sadly that is the truth though. I know the police in our area would do that very thing.

That's for sure! Last Friday I took some film into Walgreen's to be developed. i went back later that afternoon and the place was surrounded by cops. When i returned to Walgreens that evening to get my pictures, I asked the clerk what happened. She said they caught a a shop-lifter. The cops took the shoplifter's name, made her return the items she stole, then let her leave. The clerk said the sad part is that one of the cops said the shop-lifter had 5 felony warrants sworn out on her. Why on earth would cops let a someone with 5 felony warrants walk away?!?!?!?!?!?! Gee, that really makes me feel safe in my own neighborhood.

That sounds about right - I am not surprised if that was actually true and not a joke.

That's exactly the way the police are. My Grandma had people breaking into her out buildings and stealing stuff that was actually quite valuable (old signs, license plates, etc.) and the police kept coming too late to catch them and they told our family that we couldn't booby trap the out buildings in any way, shape, or form. What we started doing, though, was getting different men in the area to casually roam her land every night. The breakins finally stopped. *sigh*

I love it!!!

GRANDMA'S MEN
--------------------------

I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come
into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal.

I am seeing five gentlemen everyday.
As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John.

Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time
and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the
day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint
to joint.

After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What
a life!

Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.

Love, Grandma

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be
thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where
I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement,
I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after?"