I need something funny to say

I have this running joke with my doctors. Whenever I go under anesthesia for surgery or a procedure, I say something funny, usually something out of left field, or sometimes related to the procedure.

It's stupid.... I know.... but it's a running joke I have and the doctors that treat me routinely and do these procedures are also friends of the family and me. I'm going under tomorrow via propofol for a routine procedure but am out of ideas for funny things to say.

Any suggestions would be great. Keep in mind that I say these things just before I lose consciousness, so my speech will be slurred.

I know... I know.... it's ridiculously stupid. I've just been doing it for over a decade, so it's more of a tradition at this point than anything. Humor is medicine afterall.

I have no idea but you have put my mind at ease a little, I have thyroid surgery scheduled for 20th April and I am prtrified of going under anasthesia, you have just brightened my thoughts and to know that you have done this many times. Good luck.xx

Could you give an example of something you've said before? I'm not sure I understand what type of funny thing you usually say.

I think you need some music from the Laryngospasms.....

http://www.laryngospasms.com/fr_index.cfm

These guys are a "gas".!!!!

They do a song called " Waking up is hard to do"... a spoof of Neil Sedaka's Breaking Up Is Hard To Do....

Originally Posted by Ruthyb

I have no idea but you have put my mind at ease a little, I have thyroid surgery scheduled for 20th April and I am prtrified of going under anasthesia, you have just brightened my thoughts and to know that you have done this many times. Good luck.xx

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Don't worry. I've had MAC and general anesthesia many times now. Tomorrow it's MAC (propofol in this case). In two weeks I'll be having general anesthesia. The big difference is that with general you are immobilized and stop breathing (and are put on a ventilator) whereas with MAC you just are unconscious and monitored carefully during the procedure. They both feel the same though. Sound echoes, you feel disoriented, a little overwhelmed with what would otherwise be just regular stuff like people talking and the sounds of what they're doing (I even once told everybody to be quiet for a few moments until I was unconscious while they were doing general anesthesia). If you get a choice between gas and IV, go with IV, it's faster and less annoying. Gas takes too long for me. Ultimately though, don't worry about the anesthesia. Once your IV is in, they'll give you a sedative (usually Midazolam). It is very powerful stuff, even for a guy like me who has a high tolerance. After they give you that, you pretty much don't care about what they do next because you're in "ooooooh.... shiny!" land. Don't worry about it.

Originally Posted by killerapple

Could you give an example of something you've said before? I'm not sure I understand what type of funny thing you usually say.

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Hmmm. I suppose it's tough to really explain the things I've said before (and why they were funny) without going into some detail as to the medical circumstances during each instance. Usually the style though is somewhat similar to the humor in the movie Ace Ventura Pet Detective. Semi-relevant, yet out of left-field at the same time.... if that makes any sense.

I did come up with something though so I'm set for tomorrow.

Originally Posted by AddieBee

I think you need some music from the Laryngospasms.....

http://www.laryngospasms.com/fr_index.cfm

These guys are a "gas".!!!!

They do a song called " Waking up is hard to do"... a spoof of Neil Sedaka's Breaking Up Is Hard To Do....

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That is funny. I don't think I'm going to be able to break out into song while getting a dose of milk of amnesia. It would be funny if I could though.

I am Comfortably Numb. (Pink Floyd)

Alright. So it's over with and I'm back home.

Today's joke was corny, but was all I could come up with.

I was in for a colonoscopy (routine for Crohn's) and endoscopy (I figured why not since I'd already be out). So, as they started injecting the propofol (I knew everybody in the room btw- including the anesthesiologist), I said, "Oh, by the way, doc - if you happen to find a latex balloon filled with some powder, I'm actually going to need that afterwards. Thanks." .... and then I was out.

Like I said, it was corny, and maybe even in bad taste, but it's the kind of silly, kind of stupid humor that I throw out there whenever I'm going under for a procedure. I guess I also feel like having a sense of humor about the whole thing helps me feel like I'm maintaining some dignity throughout the whole thing.

The most interesting thing about the day though was how little propofol it took to get me to go out. I supposedly hold the record as a few years ago when they asked me to count backwards from 100 (while injecting propofol), I got all the way into the teens before I lost consciousness. I was a lot heavier back then though. Ever since then they always have extra vials of propofol ready when I'm there. Supposedly that day the anesthesiologist started getting nervous at how much it was taking for me to reach "lights out".

Anyways, all is well that ends well, and today's exam ended well with good results.

Originally Posted by mrblanche

I am Comfortably Numb.

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hmmm.... I like that. I'll have to use that at some point.

That was good! haaa!

I'm glad it all went well! I was joking with the team before my open heart surgery too - I think they knocked me out to shut me up...

So glad it all went well hun, thanks for easing my mind a bit. x

My boyfriend's favorite line before a colonoscopy is, "I think you need to buy me a drink after this....or at least dinner."

Originally Posted by nanner

My boyfriend's favorite line before a colonoscopy is, "I think you need to buy me a drink after this....or at least dinner."

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I actually have used that one in the past. Darn... there goes my pride in being original.

Actually, the way I said it that time was a little different, it was, "Whoa doc... this is moving too fast. Don't you think we should start with you buying me a drink or something?"

Originally Posted by LawGuy

I actually have used that one in the past. Darn... there goes my pride in being original.

Actually, the way I said it that time was a little different, it was, "Whoa doc... this is moving too fast. Don't you think we should start with you buying me a drink or something?"

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Yeah, I think, because of the nature of the exam, it's probably a line that's used alot. The docs also probably hear different versions of that line during a prostate exam.

I'll ask my father. He's a gastroenterologist, so if anybody would know, he would.

Now I have to think of something to say for my spine surgery in 2 weeks. Something having to do with neurosurgery. This one could be tough.

Originally Posted by LawGuy

I was in for a colonoscopy (routine for Crohn's) and endoscopy (I figured why not since I'd already be out).

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You get an anesthesia for those over there?! Man am I jealous! And traumatized for no reason... I didn't even get any sedatives.

I would have propably said something about not wanting to end up like Michael Jackson...

Make sure you don't remove any vertebrae while in there.. I need all the backbone I can get!

Originally Posted by LawGuy

I'll ask my father. He's a gastroenterologist, so if anybody would know, he would.

Now I have to think of something to say for my spine surgery in 2 weeks. Something having to do with neurosurgery. This one could be tough.

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How about asking them to join you in prayer for a successful surgery....or if you or they are not religious then I guess yuk it up all you guys want.
Having seen my mother and brother go in for surgical procedures and doing "stand-up" (which doesn't seem very funny...sure the docs have heard it ALL before...haha...haha) In my own experience I try to show gratitude for their expertise and thank them. Sometimes silly stuff comes out of my face as the anesthesia starts to take over, but I don't practice shtick before hand. I never thought of doing that before surgery....that may actually take my worries away from the business at hand.

When I had dental surgery in the 70's, they were having trouble finding a vein to put the needle in for sodium pentathol. I have very tiny veins. LOL Well, as they found one, I kept waiting for them to ask me to count backwards. Suddenly my head was swirling and all I could remember saying was "OH WOW"

When I had my gallbladder removed under general anesthetic, I didn't count backwards then either. I just went out.

Originally Posted by NorthernGlow

You get an anesthesia for those over there?! Man am I jealous! And traumatized for no reason...

I didn't even get any sedatives.

I would have propably said something about not wanting to end up like Michael Jackson...

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No sedatives at all?? Oh, I am so sorry. I got good drugs for both my colonoscopy and endoscopy and while I wasn't entirely knocked out I was definitely in lala land. That seems like cruel and unusual punishment to me

Glad everything turned out ok Lawguy. My DH has Chrohn's too so I may be pm'ing you with a few questions because he if very stubborn when it comes to check ups and seeing the doctor, if that is ok.