Do Our Cats Grieve?? Yes,They Do

Got into an interesting conversation today at work. My co-worker has had two great danes that she has had since birth 13 year ago. They are brothers and have never been apart. She had to take one to the vet and have it put down two weeks ago. Now the other dog is "acting out". Pooping and peeing everywhere and chewing things up. It's behavior that she hasn't seen since he was a puppy. She is baffled. I suggested that maybe he was trying to get attention because he missed his brother. I think he must be lonely and confused now that he is alone. After 13 years, all of a sudden, his buddy is gone..Is this a crazy notion? I don't think it is at all.
My last two cats, Rattles and little Man Tate, were EXTREMELY close. I was the odd man out in that relationship. When Rattles got sick with a brain tumor I didn't want to drag it out and let her suffer. So I took her to the vet one morning and let her go. How was I going to explain this to Little Man?? This is what I did: After it was over, I took Rattles little body back home. I placed her on the bed, wrapped in a baby blanket and called Little Man Tate into the room. He approached her slowly and sniffed her for several minutes. Then he looked at me, looked back down at her and then gently put his mouth very close to hers(I thought he kissed her). He then turned around and left the room. Of course he was never able to tell me how he felt, but I think he understood what had happened. Little Man joined his soul mate at RB two years later, but I will never regret letting him say his goodbye to her, in his own way

Completely agree that cats grieve. I posted in the behavior section after Ollie, my dog, died in February. Pepper became extremely aggressive to the point that I warned my friends when they came over to be extremely careful if they pet him. He slapped me in the face and drew blood and was attacking Petunia-- and not in a playful way. He seems to finally be getting back to his more normal self... less aggression and more playing. He's still not completely back to normal, but neither am I.

I totally agree with you about our pets grieving. I regret that I did not let Muffin see Speedboat. I have watched him look all over for his buddy. I have seen him go around the yard checking all the places where he and Speedboat hung out together. That is why I put him and Mattie in the garage at night in a cage. I knew Muffin would be lonely in his box by himself. Mattie had her own private one. Three times though I have seen Mattie in the big box laying there in Speedboats place and Muffin laying there too. They surely have to readjust. Muffin has lost weight and he will be going back to the vet for a recheck. We are hoping he is just mourning his friend.

When Webb got hit by a car, I of course picked his body up out of the road. Fred found him when I laid him on the hood of my car to find a blanket to wrap him in. I watched Fred clean his friend's face, place his paw on his chest, and let out the most mournful wail I have ever heard. I buried Webb, and Fred never went into that part of the yard again. He hid under the sink and howled for 2 weeks. I thought we might lose him, too.

Originally Posted by krazy kat2

When Webb got hit by a car, I of course picked his body up out of the road. Fred found him when I laid him on the hood of my car to find a blanket to wrap him in. I watched Fred clean his friend's face, place his paw on his chest, and let out the most mournful wail I have ever heard. I buried Webb, and Fred never went into that part of the yard again. He hid under the sink and howled for 2 weeks. I thought we might lose him, too.

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Now that is a sad story.

When my RB girl had her last litter of kittens (I was irresponsible back then) she mourned for them. She was around 8 then. They were all stillborn, one so deformed, its intestines were on the outside of the body. She was spayed shortly there after.

Originally Posted by krazy kat2

When Webb got hit by a car, I of course picked his body up out of the road. Fred found him when I laid him on the hood of my car to find a blanket to wrap him in. I watched Fred clean his friend's face, place his paw on his chest, and let out the most mournful wail I have ever heard. I buried Webb, and Fred never went into that part of the yard again. He hid under the sink and howled for 2 weeks. I thought we might lose him, too.

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OMG! That story made me cry!

The only thing I have to compare it to is Rex. When he came to my home as a foster, he wandered around for days, crying and calling - looking for someone whether two or four legged I will never know. It took him a long time to adjust ... and he has finally bonded with Jakie and Prowler... and has decided that for the most part - I'm not so bad.

Whisky mourned for Oliver for about a day! Then, it was back to normal...

However...one day about year after Oliver went to the RB, I was sitting here looking at pictures of him with Whisky on the desk next to me. there was 1 pic that Whisky caught a glimpse of and he started looking at the monitor all weird when he stuck out his paw, touched the screen, turned and looked at me and meowed. He had never done it before and never did it again. I told him, "Yes, Oliver is gone to a better place". I broke down and cried.

Annabelle acted up a lot after Abigail died. She was always a quiet, non-aggressive cat, but pretty much immediately she began meowing all the time, making howling noises like she was in heat, scratching up furniture, clawing toilet paper rolls, going outside her litter box, attacking our feet- you name it. She kept this up for about six months- slowly tappering down. We had Abby cremated, and she sniffed at the ashes and kept going up to the urn. After we had Annabelle retested for the third time as negative for Feline Leukemia (which is what Abby died from) we got Isabelle and her behavior improved drastically. My husband even commented on how much she missed her friend. It was obvious to us both that she was grieving Abby.

I also agree 100%. Osiris and Cleo II cried for their Mom, Nefertiti when she went to the Rainbow Bridge. They were all very close, and they mourned her for sure. Teyah mourned very much so when her first kitten died. I think she knew the second one wasn't going to make it.

When Bibbs ( 3/05) left us for the Bridge Tolly was devastated. I thought I was going to lose him too. He shut himself down, hid in a dark corner, refused to eat. I was so worried about him, I didn't ever properly grieve for her myself.

He looked for her for months. He developed a panic habit he still has, when I take a cat to the vet, he is there waiting at the door when I come home, to make sure I've brought the cat back.

It took him a full year to come back to himself, and even so, he lost a tiny bit of his sparkle. he's known loss now, and it shows.

After that, when Ootay's ( 5/09) time came closer I was terrified of what he would go through. He is even older now, and if possible more deeply bonded to Ootay than he was with Bibbs.

But I handled if differently, as did Ootay. Ootay began weaning herself from him. She slept more and more in her bathroom circle bed, where Tolly did not join her. And on the day she had the third stroke, and told me she'd had enough, I made sure Tolly (and Mazy) said good bye.

Tolly knew she was leaving us, and only looked for her for a few days, sort of hopeful, but he did not go into the decline he did with Bibbs, I just didn't handle it right that time.

Now I worry about Mazy. Mazy was not bonded to Ootay, but even so, looked for her for quite a few days after she left. Tolly had begun bonding with Mazy, when Ootay started weaning herself from him. Once Ootay left us, Tolly turned to Mazy even more. Now the two of them are deeply bonded. I worry about how Mazy will cope when Tolly leaves us (though of course hope it will be many years from now, but he is 11, and has liver damage from phenobarbital, and cannot stop taking the phenobarbital)

People who don't think animals grieve, don't understand animals. Cats and dogs form deep loving bonds with people and with other animals.

Originally Posted by Bellaandme

My last two cats, Rattles and little Man Tate, were EXTREMELY close. I was the odd man out in that relationship. When Rattles got sick with a brain tumor I didn't want to drag it out and let her suffer. So I took her to the vet one morning and let her go. How was I going to explain this to Little Man?? This is what I did: After it was over, I took Rattles little body back home. I placed her on the bed, wrapped in a baby blanket and called Little Man Tate into the room. He approached her slowly and sniffed her for several minutes. Then he looked at me, looked back down at her and then gently put his mouth very close to hers(I thought he kissed her). He then turned around and left the room. Of course he was never able to tell me how he felt, but I think he understood what had happened. Little Man joined his soul mate at RB two years later, but I will never regret letting him say his goodbye to her, in his own way

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I got tears in my eyes from reading that. It was wonderful to give your other cat a chance to say goodbye like that. I bet it really helped him understand that his best friend was gone.

Originally Posted by Bellaandme

Got into an interesting conversation today at work. My co-worker has had two great danes that she has had since birth 13 year ago. They are brothers and have never been apart. She had to take one to the vet and have it put down two weeks ago. Now the other dog is "acting out". Pooping and peeing everywhere and chewing things up. It's behavior that she hasn't seen since he was a puppy. She is baffled. I suggested that maybe he was trying to get attention because he missed his brother. I think he must be lonely and confused now that he is alone. After 13 years, all of a sudden, his buddy is gone..Is this a crazy notion? I don't think it is at all.
My last two cats, Rattles and little Man Tate, were EXTREMELY close. I was the odd man out in that relationship. When Rattles got sick with a brain tumor I didn't want to drag it out and let her suffer. So I took her to the vet one morning and let her go. How was I going to explain this to Little Man?? This is what I did: After it was over, I took Rattles little body back home. I placed her on the bed, wrapped in a baby blanket and called Little Man Tate into the room. He approached her slowly and sniffed her for several minutes. Then he looked at me, looked back down at her and then gently put his mouth very close to hers(I thought he kissed her). He then turned around and left the room. Of course he was never able to tell me how he felt, but I think he understood what had happened. Little Man joined his soul mate at RB two years later, but I will never regret letting him say his goodbye to her, in his own way

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Your post brought tears to my eyes. That was such a sensitive thing you did, I would never have thought of that. You brought closure to Little Man and it sounds like he really knew what had happened. I guess LM never acted out in any negative way since you didn't mention that.

When I was a kid we always had dogs, but there was only one period of time when we had two dogs, about 5 years apart in age. One day, Oreo (the older) just started having seizures and banging her head on the floor. My mom rushed her to vet but all they could do was put her down. Kaiser moped for the longest time, and he seemed to be looking for Oreo for weeks after she was gone, in all of Oreo's favorite spots.

On another board that I'm on (it's an entertainment site, not an animal site), a poster who lives next door to her brother and he had to have his dog put down. Well, even though they didn't live in the same house, they had "play dates" all the time. She said her dog would often go lie by his buddy's bed after he was gone. She asked if dogs feel sad when their friends are gone.

One poster answered that animals can't feel human emotions. I jumped in VERY quickly to correct her.

I, too, agree that pets grieve. Some more than others, depending on how close they were.

When Oreo died of a sudden heart attack at age 11 (she had a stage 4 heart murmur), Frank (my partner), myself, and Domino all sat in the room with her. Domino sniffed her, and then went on his way.

Losing a pet of 11 years was so hard for both Frank and I. I thought I wouldn't adopt another cat for at least a year or two. The thought of having another cat in my house...to possibly replace Oreo, who had been my friend for so long...It was too much to bear.

And for MONTHS, Domino searched the house for her. He would cry and cry. They weren't very "close," because Oreo wasn't very tolerant of Domino, but he badly wanted to be her friend. After two months of this, I started looking for cats on Petfinder. It was ANOTHER two months after that that I finally gave adopting a try, and now we have our two new friends, Butters and Rosalita.

I was nervous about how Domino would take to Rosalita, but he is so fiercely loyal and protective of her, even after only a few weeks. They are very very good buddies. They are only 6 months apart in age, and so I hope they both live very long lives and won't have to live long without each other. And he hasn't "searched" the house or cried since Rosalita came home. It's like he needed another friend.

Butters, of course, is another story, but I still have hope that everyone will get along once we introduce them properly.

Maude mourned when Paul had to have his dog Molly put to sleep. She seemed depressed and actually became very loving and wanted to always be in Paul's lap. She also refused to leave the house(she was an inside only cat but did like to door dash in occasion.) I guess in her mind Molly went out the door and never came back so outside was 'bad.'

Nuts has become a lot more vocal since Maude died, Attitude doesn't seem to really 'care.' Maude hated Nuts but she would tolerate Attitude. I think my signature picture says it all.

I have noticed that Nuts has claimed Maude's bed and suddenly has started using the cardboard scratcher(no one used it before, it didn't really seem appeal to any of them.) I can't explain why he suddenly decided to use the scratcher, and he's letting Attitude use 'his' sisal scratcher, normally he'd go after her for that. The bed is also tiny for him, but then again it looked like someone used a shoehorn to get Maude in it(she was even bigger than Nuts.) Attitude has also started using the bed right next to Nuts more often. She used it when Maude was here but not as often as she does now.

I think they realize she isn't here but they only a had a few months together, Maude and Molly had years together. If Paul had had the ability I would have wanted to bring them back for the others to understand but Paul just couldn't do it.

I don't know what I'll do when Attitude or Nuts dies before the other. They have been together since birth so they are really bonded.

I'm not sure if I'd want to get a leukemia positive friend(both are positive, Maude never was) for the other, I guess it all depends on the reason they die, if it's leukemia related(and they are young, right now they are 9 months old) I might not be as willing to do it again.

Taryn

Nabu mourned when we lost Raven They were litter mates and very very close. We weren't able to take him home with us, but we had some fur that was shaved after he went to the Bridge. When we got home we let Nabu smell it. He made a face I've never seen before or since, but he knew. He never looked for Raven but we thought we might lose Nabu because he didn't want to eat that first week. Raven went to the Bridge just a couple weeks before Christmas, so we made a big fuss and I bought a ton of cat toys to play with Nabu & Stimpy.

I have also seen horses mourn the loss of a pasture mate who died in the field.

Yes, at least in my experience - but it does depend how closely bonded they were.

When Scully passed, Autumn was heartbroken, before we took him to the vet, she climbed into his bed with him and was licking him and crying. When we came back without him she searched everywhere for him. She even looked up the hose of the vacuum cleaner. She cried nonstop for over a week, then the other cats, probably as tired as I was from a lack of sleep from listening to her, started hissing at her.

The boys seemed out of sorts for a few days, but not in the same way as Autumn, but to some extent, I may have missed behaviour from them trying to console her, knowing they have each other (they are very bonded)

Squirrel and Panther definitely grieved over Chilsa. I let them sniff him in the box before I closed it up and buried him, because they'd been sniffing at the spot where he fell and I didn't want them to get stuck on that...so, they had as much of an understanding as they're capable of...anyway they knew it wasn't like him being out for the day. Sometimes I wonder if he knew something was going to happen, because he didn't ask to be let out that day, like he wanted to spend his last day with his family, so, maybe he told them something, too.

Squirrel (so named because she is squirrelly) pulled away from me after that; I always keep trying with her, but she is such a skitty kitty. Panther, however, got much more cuddly with me; we comforted each other. They both were a lot quieter for a long time.

I don't know to what extent cats' experiences of loss are the same as ours. Their exact emotional response is bound to be different, as is their understanding. But...anyone who's had cats and paid attention to them in a circumstance where grief would be appropriate would tell you that they experience something.

Yes they grieve. Our cat Muffin was Speedboat's best buddy. We lost Speedboat in January. muffin had seen the vet the first of January. We had to take him back the second week of Feb. for a shot and he had lost weight.
His liver Alt was elevated, but still the same as it was in 2006. But because of this, the vet said bring him back for a recheck on the weight. I took him this evening and he has gained back two of the three ounces he had lost. We know now he was just mourning the loss of Speedboat.