Skunky. My loved one.

I just recently lost my cat, her name was Skunky.

She was not even two years of age, she died of FeLV, she had a horrible case of anemia...that just recently flared up almost out of nowhere.

Instead of giving her countless blood transfusions...I chose euthanasia, her PCV was in the single digits, she was not making any more red blood cells, and in only two days she was needing another blood transfusion.

Skunky hated hospitals and being alone with strangers. She was suffering and almost died when I took her to an emergency hospital, when she was really anemic. The transfusion worked once, and she went back to her normal self for one night. The next days her quality of life was diminished, she was lethargic, and didn't want to eat.

Skunky lived a wonderful bright life. She was playful, would fetch for me, loved everyone who petted her and didn't alike, she was active and lived life intensely.
She was the brightness and happiness of my day, even though I didn't have her for long she gave me her life and my other kitty and I as well as my boyfriend gave her ours.

I had to take a very hard decision I am sure a lot of people wouldn't have. I would not make her suffer, I told myself, that is the ONE thing I would do for my skunk, even if it meant that I had to lose her.

I stand by my decision. But it has eaten me up inside...to have lost her. I had her since she was a kitten, and she saw me as her mother. Losing her was the one true thing I never thought I would have to experience, my other cat is older and I honestly thought she would leave first.
And now that skunk is gone...I can't smile like I used to.

I did it for skunk and the vets and everyone has reassured me that it was the right decision. I know it was; even so I feel empty but also happy that I was able to share such a wonderful life. The vets said that she had most likely already had that inside of her since kittenhood. If so skunk fought for a LONG time, and she was strong and happy.

I want to think of skunk in a place like the Rainbow Bridge poem, I'm not religious, but I want skunk to be in a place like that.

I want my Skunky to be at peace; but in the meantime, part of me has died, and I don't know if I will ever be the same. I don't think I will, I just wish I was stronger for my other cat.

This is a long rant, but I didn't think anyone would mind. Not a lot of other people can understand what it feels like to lose a being that has been by your side and cheered you up and listened so many times.

Because cats are innocent creatures, they trust you completely to do whatever you think is right. I hope I chose right skunk, I hope I chose right and I hope I chose true.

Because life without you is dull and quiet right now.

Life isn't as sunny or as bright without your loveliness.

Even so one day skunk, one day we will meet once more. And we will be a family once again.

Until then my loved one, rest in peace and I hope chasing other kitties and making friends and eating bugs is more wonderful than it was while you lived.

Thank you everyone, Skunky still hurts, I still miss her.

My sibling who had been estranged from me for almost a year came back and apologized and said sorry for my loss of skunk.

I would like to think that skunky knew this, she brought us back together again.

The one thing I wish I could have had was my Skunk...but life works differently.

I am trying really hard to let her go, because she should be at peace and at rest.

That is the last thing I can do, aside for remembering her like she was. Playful, sunny, bright, and very loving.

I love you Skunky.

But I think it's time I let you rest.