Prom Gone Because of Gay Student

Not that I don't think she should be allowed to go to prom with who she wishes to and wearing what she wants - she should, but I bet she know exactly what was going to happen and planned it to stir things up. (I hope she wins, of course)

I was a teen in a small primarily southern baptist town - I hated that little town and everyone's close minded attitudes. If I could have stirred up trouble to make them and the school look like backwards hicks, and legally get away with it, I probably would have.

Btw, I still can't stand the people in that town.

It's not surprising in the least. It's the very same old song n' dance. Cancel something in order to avoid being tolerant of others, then they blame those others for the cancellation and consider themselves "persecuted".

This is just SO ridiculous.
I can't believe there is even such a policy:
Wow..
And as I read on, it says that schools across the country are facing this issue...WHAT?!?!?
When I went to prom a lot of girls took other girls to prom, although all of them wore dresses, but still...
How is it the school's business which student is dating whom, or taking the person to prom?? I mean, it's such a casual thing to begin with, I know plenty of people who just took their friends to prom, someone who is not even romantically involved with them. It makes no sense to me that this is an issue, but it makes me mad. High school kids are at such a difficult stage as it is, with so much peer pressure, I think the less social constraints there are on events like prom, the better they can handle it.

In this case, it should not matter if she was going to the prom with another girl. BOTH of them should wear proms DRESSES and get over it. Its so stupid to flaunt and parade around in a tux when you are a female.

There were plenty of girls that didn't have prom dates but would go and just hang out together and probably some of them were "gay" - who knows - but the females put on DRESSES, the males put on TUXS.

Would it have been "equally ok" if a male who claimed he was gay show up at the prom dressed in a DRESS with his date?

Go to the prom with who you want to go - but dress appropriately. I feel sorry for the rest of the group that has to now bow down to ONE person who felt they were picked on - why does this country still cater to the MINORITY and very small percentage of those who protest about something and get their way.

^I wasn't aware that it was a requirement that girls wear dresses to a prom.

Aside from not being able really stand any of my classmates, there was absolutely no way I was going to wear a prom dress. Ugly wastes of money. Lots of other girls and women hate dresses, too.

Since when is it inappropriate for a woman to wear a pair of pants, a shirt, and a tie?

Well, yes! I've seen some guys that wear dresses quite well.

Because that's how a Constitution based Federal Republic (sometimes mistakenly called a "democracy") works. The will of the many...just as long as it does not discriminate against the few.

Actually there was a guy in my high school who was trans sexual, he wore dresses/skirts and a wig, false breasts to school every single day. He was going to have a sex change operation as soon as he gets the money. And, he wore a dress to prom, no one stopped him and it was never an issue...And he was never a distraction to anyone, because teachers and school administrators did a great job at treating him the same way they treat all students. I think these things become a distraction at the moment the school principals, school boards or whatever decide to react- that is when everyone starts talking and gossiping..If they would only act normal about it, it would never be an issue, so IMO they create this problem themselves when they decide to call off prom and force the girl to wear a dress...Way more distraction to students than if they would just let the two girls go to prom together, and let them wear a tux if they want to...

I feel like in this case, the girl should have every right to wear a tux- it's not like a tux will show off too much skin or anything, and it is a formal way of dressing, which is appropriate for prom. I wear pants and a collared shirt/blazer to job interviews, not a skirt, just because I don't like to wear skirts- soo how is prom any different?

Men can wear dresses and women can wear a tux, in my opinion.

Who cares if some idiot is offended. This is 2010. I would have worn a Tux & taken a lady to my Formal if I didn't have a boyfriend.

In the early 80's, I attended several "Mess Nights" in the Marine Corps. Male Marines wore Class "A" uniforms or Dress Blues, and females (even female Marines) wore gowns. But times change, and now female Marines can wear their uniforms, just like the guys.

All this school is doing is telling their students that there will always be someone to protect them from seeing anything that might disturb them. By far the wrong message to be giving them.

I have seen girls wear tuxes to work functions, if done right they actually look really classy, they were seen on fashion catwalks a lot last year too - I am surprised more girls don't want to wear one

http://www.elle.com/Fashion/Style-Ti...rogynous-Suits
http://images.teamsugar.com/files/up...f0_Rihanna.jpg
http://www.refinery29.com/stefano-pi...unch-first.php

The mentality of the school can be summed up with: "I'm just going to take my ball and go home so nobody can play, so...thppft!"

Thats just stupid. Let her go with who she wants to go with and wear what she wants to wear. If I could have had it my way I would have worn pj pants and a hoodie to prom. Let them do what they want its 2010 after all not 1810! Get over it people are gay people are straight and some people just dont like other people. Big freakin woop! Live and let live is my vote!

That sums it up pretty well. Who cares, in the main stream (yes there will always be people with intolerant attitudes) what anyone's sexual orientation is, or what they wear as long as it is "appropriate" as far as decency is concerned, my goodness!

I was faced with this type of issue the other day reading a front page story in my local paper: Big story, at the local university here...the captain of the Lacrosse team is gay.

It was a positive article, not negative, but why is it news at all?

I suppose....perhaps to raise awareness about how attitudes are changing...all good....but still...it just seems in this day and age that homosexuality should not be news anymore.

HA HA HA! that's it exactly! The world has come a long way, but obviously it's still got a long way to go...

There's a time and place for everything. There's a big difference in wearing a tux and wearing a nice pants suit to a formal occasion.

I really do not like wearing dresses or skirts and own a lot more pants - BUT when I go to formal occasion I will wear a nice or fancy dress - even tho I'd rather wear pants.

If she had chosen to wear a pants suit there probably would not be a problem. But to cancel the prom for all the others because some girl wants to make a statement that is inappropriate IMO and to flaunt herself and stir up things is dead wrong. I don't care what year it is.

And there's also a BIG difference in men and women wearing dress uniforms when in the service too!

According to who?

I agree, to cancel the prom is inappropriate. So, who canceled it? She didn't. When she made her request (not statement or demand), why didn't they just say no and quote their dress code? Their reaction is the reaction of someone being called on their bigotry, knowing they're in the wrong, and making a hasty retreat.

Yes, there is. So why were women who earned the uniform forbidden to wear it to mess night for almost 60 years? And why has that changed now?

The sad thing is that no one really cares about morals or etiquete any more - too many have the mentality of "do what you want and who cares?" Its all about ME isn't it - what I care, what I say or what I do. Not that it offends others or that its inappropriate.

And the ME/I stuff is society - not personally. Society now says that its ok to do what ever you feel like doing and to h*ll with the rest.

Proms have always been girls were prom DRESSES and boys wear TUXES - why do people feel like that has to be changed? Is it to be politically correct and appease the 2% of those that don't like those rules? That's the sad thing.

IMO the girl was wrong to even bring up the subject of her wanting to wear a tux - she should have just put on a prom dress and gone.

Are you saying that it is immoral to be gay? Or immoral for a girl to wear a tux? Because either way I'm confused/saddened by that comment.


As far as catering to the minority...well, she didn't want the prom canceled and it's not as if anyone is saying "all girls must wear a tux to prom" so that generalized comment doesn't even apply to this situation.

Who cares if she wanted to wear a tux to the prom? What ever happened to self-expression? Anyone who is offended by a girl wearing a tux needs to get a life, IMO.

Exactly right. All the homophobic "ME's" involved in this situation didn't care at all how it affects everyone else. They were only concerned that if they went ahead with the prom, there might be "some of THOSE people" among them, and intolerant homophobes just can't hang with that.

Yes, that IS what is says...so why is this an issue?

Why do people feel that it can't be changed? And why?

I actually agree here. Of course, when the homophobes spotted two girls in gowns dancing, they would have probably thrown them out, which would have opened a whole new situation.

Why not just show up NOT make a big Pre production ... FYI most of the "gay" students at my school went with friends of the opposite sex and did dress according to gender ( though one wore a purple tux it was very nice)

This is how I feel too- it is everyone who is not able to tolerate seeing a girl in a tux with another girl who are the egoists here.

Sorry, have to disagree here. What she wears is the least important of the issues.

I wore pants to my only HS formal. A very 80's velvet and taffeta jumpsuit. It was pants and it was formal wear. I was a big girl and never fit into any of the junior's size only prom dresses. I went with my boyfriend.

The more concerning issue here is why they seem to be forcing students to go as heterosexual couples. That excludes gay students as well as those students who are shy and haven't jumped on the dating bandwagon. Making a lot of kids feel left out.

There was a trend a while back for groups of kids to go in bunches not neccessarilly with 'dates'. I thought this was a great idea, as someone who almost never had a date to go to any of the formals with.

Which begs me to ask how do they know who she's bringing as a date? Are they keeping track and why? If you buy your tickets seperately and turn up together, who cares? Most dancing at my school events was like moshing and not a lot of couples slow dancing. And there were always a lot more girls than guys at these things, so lots of students didn't slow dance together.

I think the adults who canceled this thing and singled this girl out should be ashamed of themselves. Either they pandered to her attention getting antics, or hurt a lot of students for no reason.

I disagree with your opinions about this incident and find your point of view on the subject in general to be intolerant, but I respect your right to having those opinions and expressing them.

I see nothing wrong with changing attitudes in what is considered appropriate dress for either man or woman in any given situation.

Fashion is always changing. Who cares? In the 1950s girls wore girdles and pouffy dresses with lace. In 2010 they'll wear sleazy slinky floor length things with slits up to the crotch, or skin tight over the rear end designed to show every dimple and sag, and most likely no underwear at all.

If a girl wants to wear a tux, why on earth should anyone else care? At least she's not forcing everyone to look at her privates all night.

I don't think it has anything to do with narcissism. She wanted to wear what she wanted to wear and go with who she wanted to go with. What possible difference could it make to anyone else?

The only reason it was a big deal is because the powers that be chose to make it into a big deal. Such foolishness.

My school made you sign up who you were bringing. Presumably to keep track of age (some 17-18 years old bringing those 10 years older) so they could watch what was coming in. The town I lived in also had no african american population at all and many of the population was very racist - I would not be surprised if that would have been prevented as well.


I have a question... since when did being homosexual suddenly mean that one had no morals at all? What about the recent thread about pregnant pre-teens? They didn't get that way from a same sex partner. What about all the teens that are sleeping around and (as pointed out already) dressing inappropriately? Do they suddenly have more morals just because their partner is of the opposite sex?

As I see it, the problem is that she asked permission, thereby giving the right of refusal to the school. She should have just shown up with her girlfriend and dressed in whatever she thought appropriate for a formal occasion.

When I went to my prom a million years ago, an attention seeking, and probably gay male (as I remember him) came dressed in top hat, tails and wearing shorts! The shorts were tux pants cropped off at short length. No one asked him to leave.

With the whole keeping track thing. My school also made us say who we were bringing and stuff like that. We had some problems with sports players (mostly football team) getting into fights with girls and their dates from other schools. Especially the big 'rival' schools.

I still think who cares about what she wears who she wants to go with. Its being turned into a big deal when in this day and age it shouldnt be a big deal. Its like same sex marriage who are we to tell anyone that they can or cant get married in case those people saying no havent noticed our divorce rate is over 50% (if I remember correctly) so whos to say those same sex couples who want to get married arent going to do it "right". Make it last and not get a divorce. Opposite sex marriage has already been turned into a shamble with people just saying "oh I dont wanna be married anymore" and getting a divorce. Ive just taken the stand point of who cares anymore. My sister is gay and more power to her I still feel the same way about her now as I did before I found out. If she wants to run around wearing boys clothes like she has been for years (not as a transgender but because boys pants are more comfortable) big freaking whoop.


Live and let live!! Its not like they are trying to convert anyones way of thinking we are all entitled to our opinions, thoughts, feelings and beliefs. So why cant we let them feel the way they want, and believe what they want and live the way they want.

Here's what I don't get...if the school is going to stand by its policy, why didn't they just say no to the girl and not cancel prom? I mean, does their policy state that if you seek permission against it, that they have to cancel the event?

I don't agree with the policy, btw.

And this is a bit OT, but I found it interesting that some college campuses who don't allow co-ed ROOMS don't "police" same-sex couples in the same room. Not that I think it would be right (I really don't) for a college to police that, but in this day and age, there should be some allowances for co-ed rooms, while still allowing all-girl or all-boy dorms, or even co-ed dorms (with same-sex rooms).