Update

Hi All,

I posted a while ago about how I was forced to give up a large number of my cats to the local animal care facility because of pressure by neighbours, council and because I thought it might be best for them and for the ones I kept, because of how many I had, it was getting a bit over my head.

I told how, when I called up, they wouldn't tell me who was euthanized, they couldn't tell me who they still had, because the head ranger said he diddn't honestly know. That really upset me. He said it in a really heartless manner, "oh, 4 or 5 euthanized, don't know which ones.. couldn't tell you.."

Well. I rang up again today, taking my luck, and talked to a lady on at reception. She was kind enough, to run through their names (and thank god they keep the cats names the same!! mine are unique..) and tell me who and what.

Well. Jazzie (5yo?) as I know was adopted. I know this to be an undisputable fact. I also know by whom, and that he is a very much loved indoor cat now, in a cat & dog home and they absolutely adore him. They think he is beautiful.

I also know that Charon (2yo), Sinnamon (3yo), Jaxon (2yo), Treyz (2yo), Kaien (3yo), Snowii (4yo) & the kittens Cassiel (11mo), Gabriel (11mo), Cere`s (11mo) & Coal (11mo) are still there, very much alive and healthy.

Drey (2yo), Serryn (2yo), Alliixn (3yo) & Sage (10mo) were euthanized. They told me that Drey & Serryn were deemed feral by the vet. Alliixn & Sage had health problems that they couldn't tell me without asking the vet.

Serryn was feral for obvious reasons, he was like that when I got him as a 4 month old kitten - he bit me the day I got him, I kept him so long because I knew this would happen, and he was happy with the other cats. I think his previous owners abused him - he wasn't "all there in the head" if you know what I mean?

Drey was beautiful as kitten, but once hormones kicked in, nothing could stop him, he thought he was top dog, and although he could be absolutely fine at times with me, he hated being touched. It's a shame, but considering he is only one of two out of 29 that I've had and raised that are feral - I don't think I could have done much more.

I don't know why Sage & Alli had health problems, I can only hazzard a guees. Alli's mom was Lilly, and Lilly was the one who came to me half dead and overun with cat flu.

Lilly was vaccinated, but when Alli was born, he suffered from huge respiratory problems transfered in-utero from the cat flu. I was in and out of vet's with him at the time, but as he grew older he seemed to be ok.

I guees he wasn't as ok as he was letting on. Vets could never work out the real problem, they just thought it may have been feline herpes complications. Sage had something similar, sniffling and eye problems, even though I treated them with L-Lysine & Vibrapet, I guees it wans't enough knwim?

I am devastated that the four were euthanized. I'm expecially shattered that my alli cat was euthanized, to be honest, he would have been the one I'd have been tempted to go back for if I could have.

But I had to make hard choices, I couldn't keep them all. If I had kept even one of the ones I gave up, I couldn't have kept some of the ones I kept.

It will always hurt. it will always hurt me, but at the very least, I know that some are safe with me, one cat is in a happy home, 10 others are safe with caring staff who will try the best to find them homes.

So bittersweet right now, it is a relief to know who is still there. The not knowing was eating me up inside. My partner told me "I diddn't want to know", but honestly. I did. I needed to know who to grieve and who to hope for and who to be happy for.

Thankyou all for your support through my last thread.

I am so very sorry that you are going through all of this hun, but I am glad that someone was kind enough to give you a little bit of closer. Lots of vibes that the remaining kitties find wonderful forever homes soon.

I am glad you were able to find out more. I hope you can get peace in your heart somehow about it all. I know it is hard. Hugs.

Well, you can now start to recover from all this. It is good you are finding peace as well.

I am sending you good thoughts and a hug for all you and your cats have been through.

God Bless.

Thank goodness, you received some real information about your cats. Knowing IS much better than worrying and wondering. I celebrate the new forever homes that some of your cats have found and hope that the rest find wonderful homes too.

I recently had the heartwrenching experience of trying to choose a cat as companion for mine. There are sooo many wonderful and beautiful cats and kittens that need a good forever home, that I wished I could adopt them all. Unfortunately, no one of us can take care of so many at once. It is sad that they had to put down the cats that were ill, and it angers me that they euthanized the feral cats. These cats are not feral without reason! Since it is people and circumstance that cause they're aggression I always think it is our duty to correct the wrongs that have been done by them. Still, it seems that you had so many and even the shelter had to do what it thought was best and within their means. Good luck to you and your smaller but more managable furry family.

Thankyou everyone for your support.

I agree that there is always a reason why cats are feral, and that it can be fixed, but I also believe that with at least one of the ones they euthanised, that it would have taken months, maybe years to tame him - I wasn't able to and I had him since he was a kitten (4 months old) and he was 2 and a half years old.

The day the lady gave him to me, he was the same age as his litter mate Treyzen whom I also was given. I took them in, after she went to the vet at the same time I took Sapphire for a check up. The vet turned her away saying they were full and couldn't take the gorgeus tabby kitten she had (Treyzen) I told her I'd take him. The next day she surprised me with a ginger kitten and so I agreed to take him too.

When I went to pick him up out of the box to put into my own box (and this was at a university where I collected them) he sprang out of the box and ran like a freak. We chased him, and he freaked and ran straight into a glass door. I've never seen a cat do that, cats are smart, he just freaked. He went so hard he got a bloody nose. I picked him up, thinking ok, scared kitty, and he bit me so hard on my finger joint that I thought I'd never get his teeth out.

My point is, he has been this way since I got him. I could barely touch him, let alone move him. We had an understanding though, I wouldn't bother him, as long as he obeyed me. If I told him to get into the cages I use to move the cats around, he'd look at me warily and walk into it. He would bite, and he would bite hard. The look in his eyes, I have never seen that look before. I loved him though. I loved them all.

Drey was different, Drey, given time, would have come around. I kept 14 and surrendered 15. Out of the 14 only one is not related by blood to Drey. Out of the 15 I surrendered, 9 were related to Drey. I don't know why he went that way. Hormones maybe? The ones related to him are nothing like that, they are loving. Some are tempermental, but not the same way.

He was a very dominant cat. He would let me pick him up, he would let me touch him, but he was a very agitated, tempermental cat, and there is no way he would let anybody but me get close to him. Given time, maybe a month, maybe two, he would've come around with expert care - people more experienced with ferals than me, but he obviously diddn't have that chance.

It will haunt me every day for the rest of my life that I had to do this.

Sorry for the rant, it feels good to talk about them, to make sense of what's happened, it eats me up inside. Eats me up inside that I wasn't there to comfort my Ally cat, that I won't get their bodies to cremate them. It's a bittersweet type of closure. I had braced myself for Drey & Serryn but never in my life could I have gueesed Ally & Sage. It hurts.

14 cats seem like more than enough responsibility for one person. Congratulations on your continued efforts.

Drey has passed his love on to you through his ancestors for sure!

I wonder about the kitten you describe, are you saying he was BORN feral, despite the fact that his mother and you were there to be with him?

Honestly, whenever we have taken that many cats from someone, there has always been feral behaviour and health issues in some of them.

I am so glad you have had some closure on this. I agree that knowing is better than not. You could drive yourself crazy, wondering. You kept all the older cats right?

You've done what you can and I hope now you can begin a healing process.