New cat adopted by a new cat owner...trying to be patient!

Nash is obviously a friendly cat but he is still adapting to his new home. Be patient. Let him be the one to approach you, always talk to him in a friendly, gentle voice and do not mind his skittish behavior. Give him treats and play when he wants to play and not the other way around.

Hi and congratulations on your new baby!


Well because you know nothing of his past you are simply going to have to be very patient with him and build up his trust towards you. Don't try to "force" your attentions on him. Let him come to you first always. It looks like Nash has made the area under the bed his "safe spot". That is OK, he needs that so that he knows he can "hide" there and feel safe.


On the bright side, the fact that he is letting you give him tummy rubs when he is partially under the bed is a very good sign. Remember, you don't know what happened to him or why he was dropped off at the Petsmart, so chances are he is probably feeling rather afraid and insecure. After all, he doesn't understand why this happened to him.


Be extra gentle with him and talk to him a lot. Try offering him treats. If he lets you pet him great! But when he shows signs of "ok I've enough" just let him be. Let him smell you and especially your hands a lot. Try using different toys to play with him. A crumpled up piece of paper, toy mice, string he can chase after, a laser pointer. After a while he'll warm up!


Because they are so vulnerable, ie, dependent on us humans to feed and care for them, cats do tend to be skittish, more-so if they have had some negative experience in the past. Building up trust with Nash will take time. It took almost two years before my cat Rascal would let me hold him, but now he does! I just built up his trust slowly. I would pick him up and the second he wanted down I would gently set him down. Now he knows when he is in my arms, I am not going to drop him or hold him longer than he wants to be held.


It sounds like you have adopted a wonderful loving kitty who just needs some time and patience.

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I second everything that Shanynne said. I have one cat, and she is the first cat I've owned, and I hope I can give you some helpful advice through sharing my adoption experience.

I adopted Holland when she was 5 months old. When I met her she was so scared she hid from both me and my adoption counselor. What got me was the fact that she'd been at the shelter for 2 months already, and when the counselor said "Holland just needs to go home." I took her home, let her out of her carrier, and although she explored a little bit, she took refuge under my bed.

She spent the better part of 3-4 days under my bed. I spent SO much time crying, thinking that I had gotten in way over my head. I would try to coax her out, and couldn't.

I've had her for nearly a year and a half, and those days are like a distant memory. It took time, for sure, but within a week of adopting her, Holland would sit on my lap and let me pet her. Within a month, she would fall asleep HARD on my lap. I talk to her every day and she talks back. She wants to be on my lap every evening when I'm on the couch reading or watching TV. Even when she is totally, drooling, snoring, asleep on my lap, if I talk to her, her tail moves. I take that as a sign that she knows my voice.

I live alone, so I am the only person she really "knows". She is still very, very afraid of other people, and will hide if I have company. She hates going to the vet, but even so she will only hide under the bed for 5-10 minutes after getting home from a doctor visit.

It was the hardest thing for me to learn that I need to let HER initiate our interactions. I always had dogs growing up, but I live in a condo so a dog is not really possible. After I adopted Holland I spent a LOT of time reading up on cat behavior, and lo and behold I discovered my kid is not that different from any other cat.

My best advice for you is to listen to your cat. Watch and respect his signals - Holland will always let me know when she's not in the mood to be petted - and let him get close to you at his own pace. Trust me, if you feed him, change his litter box and have interactive playtime with him, he will adore you before you know it. Just remember that not all cats are cuddlers or lap cats, but he will let you know that he loves you.

Hi there! Congratulations on your new cat.

You've gotten good advice so far. To help things along, you can maybe spend some time in his room reading aloud so that he gets used to hearing you. It helps if you sit on the floor, so you're not so big and intimidating to him.

Don't take it personally at all that he's skittish. One of my cats hissed at me for 2 months straight every time I entered the room! Once he got used to the idea that I wasn't trying to eat him, he let me pet him for longer and longer periods of time.

I think Nash will come around with a little bit of patience.

spaniolated, DON'T take it personally if Nash is responding to other people and not to you. I promise, if you spend time with him and give him what he needs, you will get there.

You can try to coax him out from under the bed, but don't be offended if it doesn't work. The best thing you can do is be in the room with him and read to him, talk to him, just let him know you're there and let him get used to the sound of your voice. I used wand toys to coax Holland out from under my bed... sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. She was also VERY curious about her new surroundings, and she did well when I let her explore without interfering. I watched her to make sure she didn't get into any trouble (I'm lucky in that she's never been a cord chewer or anything else dangerous), but I let her have her space to poke around my house.

As for keeping his box in your room, again all I can do is share my experience. Holland was a 5-month-old kitten when I adopted her, and the shelter recommended that I keep her shut in one room, with food, water, toys and litterbox for a little while. I kept her shut in my bedroom when I was out for about a month. Then I let her have the run of the house. I didn't have any trouble at all with her getting used to her new litterbox and feeding areas. Just make sure that when you move his litterbox that he knows where it is (they usually do, but I don't know how big your house is).

You haven't had him for very long. He will learn to trust you, and IMO, the harder you work for the affection the stronger you bond will be. I have gotten SO much great information and support from this forum, I hope you stick around. We also have a forum for photos and videos, if you can, you should post some pictures of Nash!!

In one of the cat books I have (I think it was "think like a cat), the author recommends getting a toy that you can play with the kitty under the bed with. Look for something like this - http://www.petsmart.com/product/inde...ductId=3458933 - or this - http://www.petsmart.com/product/inde...ductId=3104840 - and try to engage in a little play time.

Also, just try to spend time in the room, not interacting with your kitty, but just going about your business. Read a book for a few hours and just let him get used to you as a part of his life. Don't make any move towards him if he comes out (hard, I know!), and eventually he'll make his way over to you.

I can't add anything new. I just want to say welcome to our world of cats!!! They will certainly teach you patience. I am so excited for you and your new companion. The people on this forum are so willing to share their "pearls of wisdom". They won't lead you down the wrong path. I know your baby will be in your arms in no time. It's just that cats have their own schedules and will do WHAT they want WHEN they want. Have fun. You are about to be loved by a cat.

I'm a professional pet sitter and it's my job to meet new cats and make them feel comfortable with me, well, as comfortable as I can. One important thing I do that works well is I never reach for a cat. I hold my index finger out about half way between them and me and then I hold still and let them come the rest of the way if they want to. If not, then I back away. This trick works well for me because the cats learn that I'm not going to force them to do something they don't want to do. Also, I'm using cat behavior to make them feel comfortable. When two cats meet for the first time, they'll tentatively sniff noses. My finger is like a cat nose as far as the cat is concerned. If this works and he does rub his head on your hand just hold still for a few moments and let him be the one to decided how much petting he wants. Then scratch him. If he moves away just let him.

From the way you describe him he sounds like a cat who wants a lot of attention but is still shy. That's pretty normal for most cats in a new place. If my instincts are right you've got a great cat!

As for under the bed I would let him have that space to feel safe in. I personally wouldn't put my hand or a toy under the bed. Instead, I'd lay on the floor, make eye contact with him and just talk to him. He'll come out in time. Someone mentioned reading out loud to him. I've done that on pet sits before too and it's worked great. Of course, I did it with dogs but it will work with a cat too!

Jennifer - that is a great point about letting him have the space under the bed. Cats need places to hide where they can feel safe.

Oh, cats... you are all so beautiful and intriguing...

Thank you! I sort of think of each encounter as building on the next. I want them to feel safe somewhere. Then I want the space they feel safe in to get bigger!

Holland now feels safe anywhere in my condo, but she will still hide under my bed when I have company. It's nice to know she has a "safe zone" when she needs it.

Lol! There's some company that makes ME want to hide under my bed! No shame in that!

So true.

... another small thing - the way you look at Nash may make him think you are challenging him - see if NOT looking into his eyes - just look a little higher - between his ears, for example - maybe he won't feel so threatened ?? until he trusts you more

I hum when I'm petting my cats - they purr, I hum , just trying to relate.

I like the idea of reading to him - maybe you could find a nice kitty story to read to him or tell him about his story, how much you love him, how he is such a "favored" cat, and you feel so special that he is now living with you, etc. (sorry, I'm feeling a little craZy today).

Cats like routine, too - mine have a certain spot - marked by a shop towel - that I feed them on - each of them (there's 3 inside cats) knows where their spot is, go there and wait for me to feed them - a routine they gladly follow, errr lead

How true, how true!!

This just gave me another idea - you can also slowly blink your eyes when you are making eye contact with him. Cats see eye contact as an act of aggression if they don't trust you. Blinking your eyes slowly will tell Nash that you are not threatening to him, until he gets to that trust level.

That's a good one. I also yawn and look away after blinking. Means you're bored and/or relaxed. They like that.

You could also try getting down to his level...throw a pillow on the floor, grab a book and lie down next the bed.
You'll be less threatening, and cats are naturally curious creatures...if he sees you just lying there not paying any attention to him be might be more inclined to come on out and investigate

It might just take some time so be patient and he will reward you eventually

My Aspen is a very loving cat, but only with people she knows.
It takes her a looooong time to warm up to new people (except for one particular friend of mine who is apparently a cat whisperer), especially men (my ex was quite cruel to her)
Once she knows and trusts a person though, then she is in love!