Truisms

bren.1

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1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an
impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss: the Pope only
expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
the bathroom.

6. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of
course, there's shipping and handling, too.

7. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

8. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a
large trash can.

9. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip
me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.

10. I'm so depressed. My Dr. refused to write me a prescription for
Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
building.

11. My neighbor was bit by a rabid stray dog. I went to see how he was
and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said," Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

12. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way
 

dougbug

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those were so funny, i printed them out to pass along, thanks for sharing
 
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