I could use some support.

I hope someone will read this through (even though it's long).

I am planning on going to work tomorrow and handing in my letter of resignation. I'd like to say that this came out of the blue, but it's something that has been in the back of my mind for some time now. I am not happy that I'll be leaving a job without first having another lined up, but I don't feel I have an option and I just need to trust that everything will work out in the end.

I started working at my present job last summer. I took the job because I needed something, but it wasn't what I necessarily wanted at the time. However, I grew to really enjoy it. For those of you who do not know, I work at PetSmart as a pet care associate. While much of the job is mundane, I enjoy working with the animals. But, as time went on, some issues started to arise. For one, I became ill in November and wound up having an emergency appendectomy. Because of my surgery, I needed 2 weeks off to recover. I kept my boss up to date with what was going on and provided a doctor's note and all was well. I was quickly given more hours and was consistently being told that I was a good, hard worker. But, some things never added up. I was never given a chance to buy into the health insurance plan and I never got my review. But, I looked past those things because I truly did like my job.

Then came the start of the year and I began getting some crazy hours. We're talking multiple 10+ hour days in a row and hours such as 1:00pm-11:00pm one night and 6:00am-3:30pm the very next morning. It was killing me. I had told my boss, before I even started, that I had some health issues and was informed that they'd work with me as long as I was honest and provided the appropriate documentation for when I was out of work. But, when I mentioned the hours being too much, I was told that they weren't going to make special arrangements just for me. So, it was no wonder when I got sick with pneumonia in January. Again, I was out 2 weeks. And, unfortunately, just a couple of weeks after returning to work after that hiatus, I partially ruptured my achille's tendon. I was extremely nervous about calling in to my job, but after a very long discussion, I was told not to worry.

Fast forward to this week. I called, as requested, to let them know that I'd be returning to work as planned on March 2nd. But, I was given a hard time with getting my schedule for the week. The details aren't important, but suffice it to say that it was uncomfortable. Well, things were awkward enough that, with everything else that had happened in the past, I made the decision to leave. The decision may seem rash, but there are a lot of things that went down which led me to that decision. I'm only on the schedule this week tomorrow and on Saturday and I am planning on speaking with my boss and handing in my resignation letter tomorrow. But, I'm nervous.

I have left jobs before. But, for whatever reason, since being sick earlier this year, I have had an increase in my anxiety. When I think about talking to my boss tomorrow, I start shaking and going into a full-blown panic attack. My fears range from just feeling uncomfortable and awkward to believing that they'll call the police on me and then have all my animals taken from me. Yes, I know that is ridiculous, but as a person with OCD, that is one of my most severe fears. It has no basis in reality, but I rationalize it in order to have it make sense in my own mind. My OCD is usually under control, but being sick has set me back some and I'm really feeling it. This, too, is part of the reason I am choosing to leave work.

I'm just unsure about how best to proceed. What do I say? Do I give 2 weeks (as I normally would)? Or, do I just thank them and move on? I suppose I just need a little reassurance. I feel guilty and shameful and...well, you get the point.

It will be okay, right? Have any of you ever resigned from a job? How did you handle it? And, anyone with anxiety? I could just use some overall support right now.

Sorry you are going through all of that

First I have a question for you.

How does employment insurance work where you are? Can you still apply for unemployment insurance if you quit the job? Or are you disqualified if you quit?

Where I live, if you quit your job, you disqualify yourself from collecting unemployment benefits.

I'm thinking that it's the same where you live, and if that is the case, it sounds to me like your employer is looking for a reason to get rid of you. And since you say they told you that you were doing a good job, job performance isn't the reason. However, while they can't fire you for being legitimatelyl sick, they can make your work environment really difficult so that you quit.

However, if you quit, you likely won't be eligible to collect unemployment insurance. So you will be without any income.

If you quit, they don't owe you anything. If you stick it out and they fire you, you will be able to collect UIC while looking for another job.

Don't let them bully you into giving up your rightful claim to UIC. If they want to get rid of you, let them do the dirty work and tell you "you're fired."

When I resigned from my position in Special Education, I wrote a letter and mailed it to the director.

When I quit an interim (overnights) walmart job, I just called and said the job was making me sick and I wouldn't be back.

When I resigned from my work as a CNA in a nursing home, I went to the Nursing Director in her office, offered two weeks notice and was invited to leave right then (in a nice way). I took it.

I understand all your anxiety symptoms. Offer two weeks notice, only if you think you can stick it out. They may even, as the nursing home did, just say never mind you can leave now.

Sounds like this is what the manager is hoping for anyway, the way your schedule is being cut. If you quit, they don't have to fire you, and pay your unemployment tax. (or however that works)

Good luck and know I'll be thinking of you.

(glad your tendon is better)

Unfortunately, I am ineligible for unemployment. Because of the way the law works, I would not have unemployment regardless of whether they fired me or I quit. Since I was never upgraded from part time to full time status when my hours changed, I would not be eligible for benefits if I were to be let go from my position. And, because I am making the decision to leave, that too would disqualify me for unemployment benefits.

While I don't feel I would be fired going forward, I am certain that things would be made quite difficult for me if I chose to stay. That's their MO and I've seen it happen before. I'm not willing to put myself through that -- especially considering what my hourly wages are.

I'm not loving the fact that I'll be without a job, but I truly believe this is the best scenario. I just wish my anxiety wasn't getting in the way...

Hi Alison!

From a strictly orthopedic standpoint, of course it would be better for you to resign immediately. However, for future job searches and so forth, it would look much better if you put in the 2 weeks notice. I have a feeling they'll ask you to skip that part, and if they do, ask if they will be kind enough give you a good reference. Whatever you do, keep it upbeat and stress that even though this is a TEMPORARY problem with you and and your health, you feel it is better for everyone if you leave.

How will you live in the meantime, as you aren't exactly prime employment material with the boot and all? I don't need to stress how important it is to get back out there ASAP. I just hope your tendon heals FAST? How is it feeling?

Good luck tomorrow. I feel so bad that all this has happened but am glad you might have a chance to get recovered and can start somewhere new with a clean slate!

Your health is FAR more important than anything else. If it will only stress you out more to give 2 weeks notice than don't do it, but if you want to leave on good terms and need them as a future reference, then it's within your best interest to give the 2 weeks. You don't have to give any excuses or reasons for wanted to leave and if they ask for one, just say you're leaving for personal reasons! Sending vibes hun, stay strong and stand your ground. I wish you nothing but the best.

I am planning on going in tomorrow a couple of minutes early to speak with my boss. I'm going to come prepared with a letter of resignation, but would prefer to speak to him face-to-face. I am planning on offering to work through the day tomorrow, and if need-be, on Saturday as well. I can't offer 2 weeks as I have an issue with them concerning next week (I have a business trip to take as a volunteer for a non-profit). I was supposed to get the time off and requested it prior to my being hired, but they are now refusing to allow me to have the time off. Therefore, I am willing to stick through until my shift is over on Saturday, but am hopeful that tomorrow will be my last day.

As far as what I'm going to do to survive, that's difficult. Thankfully, the house I live in is paid off. And my vehicle is also paid for. Therefore, the high-ticket bills are not something I need to worry about. I will have to think about food, utilities, and living expenses, but I have some savings to live off of. It's not much, but it is doable. I also have a roommate and I have spoken to her extensively about the situation and she is in a position to help me should I need it. I have already started the process of looking for another job and am looking at jobs that are less physical. I have job experience in retail, retail management, administrative services (administrative/executive assistant with light payroll and HR background), customer service, and data entry. There are some other things I am qualified to do, but they are based around the same job duties. My foot needs another good 3-4 weeks to heal (if not more), and so my goal is to have a job in an office setting within 8 weeks. If that's not possible, I'll look for something in retail or something more physical as I'll then be in a place to do such work. It's a sticky situation, but I'm confident. I am prepared to go 3 months without work and although that is certainly not preferred, I can do enough odd jobs to get by. Basically, I'll have to be willing to step outside my comfort zone should things not come together, but I am hopeful that they will.

Thankfully, I do have some flexibility going forward these next couple of months. While I know it will be difficult, I'm also relieved to have some time to work on myself so that my health is improved and I am emotionally more ready to handle a new job. It's certainly not the best way to go about things, but I've done a lot of thinking and this seems that it is the only option for me. I'm grateful that I have people in my life willing to step in to help me and that I've done enough for myself to be prepared in a situation such as this one. In this economy, this is a bold move (regardless of what type of position I am leaving), but I feel like I'm going into it with the right attitude. And, I suppose, I'll just have to trust -- and do the footwork to ensure -- that things just come together.

I really do appreciate all of the support. It means so much. Thank you .

I am sorry you are going through this hard time.
You may still have a case for unemployment. They will penalize you X number weeks if you quit, but it still may be possible to file a claim. Make sure you have all your documentation, including your work schedules. If you have been working the required number of hours, it may not matter that you were never upgraded to full time on paper. The fact that you were never offered health insurance after your required work time may go in your favor that you were treated unfairly, especially due to medical conditions. I have won 2 challenges for unemployment just because their documentation was not adhered to and I was wrongfully terminated. It is at least something to try, especially since you will be actively seeking employment. It is at least worth a try.
I hope things start going better for you soon.

May God give you the strength to handle what you must do. Things will look better after tomorrow. Good Luck!
Penstemon

Originally Posted by Alison Joy

And, anyone with anxiety? I could just use some overall support right now.

Click to expand...

Hi Alison,

You've gotten lots of wise words on the employment aspect, so I'm going to wave my hand to the above.

8yrs ago I was diagnosed with severe panic disorder to the point of agoraphobia. I do mean severe, as in back to back panic attacks, lasting 20mins plus with maybe a 5-10min window in between them.

FF to now: I get nailed with one maybe once a month....sometimes less, sometimes more (depending on scenerios/other meds/etc). Its medication controlled.

Because of your admitted OCD, and starting to have anxiety issues, I'm wondering if you should see your doc and perhaps a short acting benzodiazepam would be beneficial on an as needed basis. ( just educate yourself on them first.... I wish I had )

I can also look up some of the self induced relaxation techniques that I use, and forward them on to you if you would like..... I believe I have written here in the past about my panic disorder when someone else was asking, I could look for those posts as well.

So just and some things above to think about.

Whatever you do, I hope it works out for you. Good luck.

Sending you (((hugs)))

I know how you feel. I have walked out of numerous retail jobs. They can be some of the most UNPROFESSIONAL people you will ever meet. The only retail job i've given notice at is when the person I worked for treated me like a human being.

I too had health issues and just couldn't handle the abusive head games and general mistreatment. The stress was making me worse. Retail jobs are a dime a dozen and they rarely check references so I wouldn't worry about not giving your two weeks notice effecting future employment.

If it is causing you so much stress I wouldn't even go in, I would just say something over the phone or mail your resignation. If you write a letter you can at elast get it off your chest about your reasons why. Perhaps they will think twice next time.

It is awesome you are in a position finanacially where you can do this, so don't sacrifice your health because of what you think you "should" do. Do what is best for your health. There are good jobs out there and good people, I hope next time will work out better for you.

I'm so sorry you're going thru all this. I've left a job or 2 myself and know that it's not easy to confront the boss. You WILL get thru it just fine. Let us know how things go. Wish I could give you a big supportive (((hug))).

I so appreciate all of the support offered. I woke up this morning in a terrible panic and coming here and reading what you all have shared has helped calm me and remind me that I'm not alone. Thank you .

My plan for the day is to hang out on TCS and with the kitties (and other furry kids in the house) before heading in to work at around 3:00pm. This may sound terrible, but I'm heading in to one of the other PetSmart stores before work to pick up some pet supplies I need before I lose my 15% discount. And, then, I'm going to go in to work with my head held high, talk to my boss, and finish my work day (if they will have me). I am planning on going in and offering to work through Saturday (my last scheduled day of work and my only other work day this week). I'm hoping that they are understanding and not confrontational, but I know I'm capable of remaining professional throughout so all I need to worry about is my own attitude and outlook. I'm still terribly afraid (unrealistically so, but that's OCD for you) that they will take revenge on me and cause me trouble in some way, but I do realize that this is unlikely and just the makings of my fear. I do believe it will all be okay -- so much so that I'll probably kick myself for being so scared in the first place. That's usually the case...

Snake_Lady, thank you for sharing some of your story with me. I do remember reading that somewhere, but it was good to read it again. It certainly helps to know that I am not alone with my anxiety. I have been diagnosed with a panic disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder and, thus, am on medication to help control it along with some other issues I struggle with. I take an anti-depressant along with two other meds to help with anxiety and sleep. One of those medications is Valium. While I am prescribed the med, due to the addictive nature of the drug, I try not to take it unless I'm really in a bad way. And, while I'm pretty upset with all that's going on right now, I am managing by taking care of myself, asking for support, and just slogging through. But, I appreciate the reminder because I often forget that I can take these meds. And, on the flip side, I also tend to wait until my anxiety is so severe that the medication is not as helpful. I do need to speak with my doctor, though, as I've not talked to her about my increasing anxiety since my illness earlier this year. There's a lot going on where that's concerned, and some of it is not something I'm comfortable posting on the forum, but, if anyone's interested, you're free to PM me.

I'm going to just take it one minute at a time today. I know I'll get through it. I guess I just wish it was already over by now .

When i left my job i went through HR rather than my boss as i had so many problems with him and the company and that was hard enough

i do hope everything goes ok for you

Alison I went thru something like this a few years back. I had only been at my new job for a few months when I found out I had cancer and had to be out of work for months since I had so many tests to get and when I had to get chemo, there was no way I could work since the chemo left me totally exhausted and unable to work. I kept in touch with my boss and they said not to worry and they would hold my job...and they did.

Unfortunately only about a month after I went back to work I got pneumonia and had to take time off again since I was sent to the hospital. When I was ready to go back to work I called my boss and I got something like you did, they said there wasn't enough work for me to come back, I was surprised and didn't know what to do.

I did wind up calling Unemployment to ask if I was eligible for benefits and when I told her what my boss said, that there wasn't enough work for me, I was told that is like being let go and I was eligible for benefits and yes I did get them.

I would suggest after you leave this job calling Unemployment and telling them they are not giving you enough hours to live on. It's worth a shot and you may just get those benefits. I wish you the best of luck...sorry this got so long.

I would give 2 weeks notice. Without the 2 weeks notice, it will make getting the next job a little more challenging. Its possible you give 2 weeks notice and they don't even put you on the schedule for the next two weeks. This is what happened to me actually. I gave my 2 weeks notice and my company didn't even bother to schedule me for any hours during those 2 weeks.

I too say call the local unemployment office and talk with them.. If you are stating the facts as they are( not saying your not but we don't have your bosses side)most likely you are eligible... Part time workers ALSO get benefits yours just wont be as much as a full time person..

As for notice... Do you need a reference from this job? Would you consider working for the company again? Would you consider working for the competition ? If YES to any of these give Notice. Without notice you likely would not get a flattering reference and many jobs will not hire you back( some companies wont just because you leave at all).

Alison, I've got my fingers crossed that everything went ok for you today.

I'm going to try to keep this short as I'm positively exhausted and really need to get to bed. But, since you all have been so wonderful with offering advice and support, I felt it was only right to give an update tonight.

This evening was my last day of work. And, in the end, it was a bittersweet one at that. I'm truly going to miss so much about my job -- perhaps not the mundane, but most certainly my coworkers and working with the animals. I can't stress enough that my time at PetSmart was mostly positive. However, there were some issues that were too much for me to deal with. I'm not going to go into the details because I don't feel it's right, but suffice it to say that there were some major issues that caused me to consider leaving even before my health issues cropped up. And, in the end, while I'll miss my job, I am confident that I made the right decision.

My boss was not in this afternoon when I got to work. Neither was one of the other higher-up managers. And, so, I had to give my notice to another manager. The plus side to that was that she is someone I've always had a good rapport with. The negative was that I never got to speak first-hand to my boss or to the other managers. I wrote a very succint resignation letter and both signed and dated it. I chose to let the letter speak to the situation as I wasn't willing to enter into a debate or argument. I did offer to work through a week from Thursday (as Friday I will be going on a "business" trip and will be out of town), but, instead, I was told that they did not want me to continue on through next week. And, when I offered to complete my shift on Saturday it was much the same. While I wish I could've spoken with my boss and gotten a feel for where he was coming from, I didn't have that opportunity and instead had to move through the rest of the night with a heavy weight on my shoulders. But, despite everything, I managed to get through my shift and leave with my integrity intact and my head held high. It wasn't easy and I'm glad I'm on the other side of it, but it is still disheartening...

I wish I could say that my anxiety is gone, but it's most definitely not. I am still fearful of all of the what if's. I think a lot of that comes from the fact that despite resigning, I don't feel as though I was given closure. The very fact that no one spoke with me makes me feel a bit angry and, undoubtedly, upset. I understand the situation, but it seemed inappropriate to have someone else do the dirty work instead of speaking with me directly (which was possible, but was not done). That lack of closure has me somewhat upset and quite nervous. It would have been nice to have gotten their take on things, but I was shut out. It's over and done with now, but the anxiety and icky (for lack of a better term) feelings remain.

And, so, I'm officially unemployed. It's a strange feeling and I can't quite put all of my emotions into words, but I know that I did the right thing for me. I suppose the rest will come later. It's going to be okay -- it is. But, right now, I don't know.

I'll definitely come back to this post tomorrow. I know I'll need to process some more (and begin thinking about unemployment and whatnot). And, if you're all willing, can I perhaps continue to have some support? But, for now, I need to get some sleep. Hopefully, since taking my meds, I can get some rest -- last night was an uneasy one and I've been stressed now for days. Snuggling with my dog and my kitties sounds just about perfect right now...