Let's not smite those looking for help.

I came to this forum looking for help regarding my pregnant cat, from others that have been long-time pet owners. I am a veteran user of forums, but new to "pet"-forums. In the past two days, I have noticed something in pet forums that I don't see often in my tech forums...what I've noticed is that people are quick to smite those coming to a forum to look for help before going to a vet.

For obvious reasons, no doubt the majority of "regulars" in this forum are natural-born-animal-lovers, but it's likely that some newbies or one-time users are just looking for help from you all (like me). The thing is though, I believe the most effective way to get others to love and treat their pets with the care that you show yours is not to smite them when they ask for help or advise, but instead offer them your advise and lead by example.

To explain what I mean, my experience here...

I came to ask for help about my pregnant cat. I haven't before had a pet as an adult so I'm not familiar with vets, the costs, etc. I'm unemployed, living on a very small budget (in fact, I just moved in with my grandparents out in the sticks...they JUST got internet) and a few months ago I took on a dog that my girlfriend had to get rid of so she asked me to take her as I was coming to live on a farm (she hopes she can take her back at some point). So I took on a dog, her name is Ginger, I love her and I try to spoil her but her food (big dog), worm pills, flea medicine, and vaccines are A LOT to me right now. Wouldn't have been when I was employed but right now that's not my situation.

Then I got to my grandparents where there were a couple of feral cats/old kittens roaming around their farm. My grandparents threatened my life if I started feeding them. Nonetheless, one of them seemed injured or ill and so...I started feeding her and finally befriended her to where now she is a pet living inside with me. Her name is Jenna--I love her...she's so soft. Anyway, that was right around Christmas...SO she was apparently pregnant when I found her.

Fast forward to this week when I am excited about the kittens, but concerned about her pregnancy. Yet, I am still very unemployed...still broke...and have taken on two mouths to feed at a time when I feel like I'm barely able to feed mine. (Maybe that in itself is irresponsible, but I felt at the time that I was doing the right thing in both accounts). Either way, I came here to ask about Jenna's pregnancy irregularities...I put up a post...and then refreshed the page just about every five minutes waiting anxiously for a response.

When finally, the replies read "1" this is what I read:

"I'm sorry but it would be irresponsible for any of us to advise anything except for your kitty to be assessed by a Vet. What if there is some problem that, if it goes unnoticed, will result in major problems during the delivery - that could adversely impact her health/life and the health/life of the kittens? If you made the choice to not spay your cat such that she got pregnant, then I'm afraid you have to do the right thing - and that is to see a Vet. Particularly because she's a "small cat" and COULD have problems with delivery.........and mostly because she seems to have respiratory issues. Please do the right thing."

I'm pretty thick skinned so I won't let it keep me from coming here...but I thought I may humbly suggest that possibly we don't know the circumstances of those looking for advice, and the "you made the choice to not spay...so your cat got pregnant...you have to do the right thing" has a very scolding tone to it that may turn some people away from coming here for help.

In my more regular forums, I'm happy to be able to help people and I'm sure most people here are too. Anyway, that's just my two cents...if you've read this far thanks for considering my thoughts. Take care.

Btw, I will locate a vet tomorrow.

Thanks for the input, I'm sorry you felt treated this way.

Taking in an animal is a responsibility that comes with often high financial costs. As pet owners we need to understand these costs and be prepared to cover those costs should anything unexpected come up. With pets, if you don't catch and treat problems immediately, they get worse fast, and become a LOT more expensive. That is why people urge you to take your kitty to a vet ASAP. $50 for a vet consultation now is better than a $500 emergency fee later on - emergency vets cost a fortune.

Not only that, but it would be irresponsible for us to guess what could be wrong with a kitty not knowing her full medical history and her specific circumstances. With a pregnant cat in particular, there can be many things going on, and if something goes wrong, you could lose your cat as well as all the kittens. If you were pregnant and were worried about something, you'd get into a doctor ASAP.

Cats are also VERY good at hiding pain. When one of my kitties was first found as a youngster, she'd been hit by a car, and had a broken pelvis and tail. She was found by school kids, and she was dragging herself toward them purring, and when they patted her she was trying to roll around and looked to be loving the pats! You can just imagine how much pain she must have been in though. That's the other reason why a cat not showing signs of distress does not necessarily mean a healthy cat.

But... when new members come here looking for advice, we do tend to plead them to see a vet first rather than explaining all of the above. Just like when new members come here, they say "I have a pregnant cat who may be ill, but I can't afford a vet" rather than explaining that you have been a saviour to this sweet kitty and telling the story you just told above first. I have no doubt that would have received a different response.

So once again, I am sorry you felt "smited" (smote?? ), but please do stick around - there is lots of useful information here and it really is a wonderful community!

I will lock this thread from further comments, but please do feel free to send me a private message if you would like to discuss it further