Severely depressed and can't stop crying

Originally Posted by LDG

G - that's very powerful and I can't imagine why you would think any of it was out of line or rude. It took a lot of strength, and your love and admiration for Kara radiates throughout.

Kara, I'm so sorry you've been having such a tough time lately. Communication when we're emotionally in knots (compounded with being bombarded with hormones) can become so difficult. I hope this opened up a new avenue of communication that will help the two of you find your path into the future together.

Many vibes to both of you.

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not rude at all very honest and open and i can see why you all make a perfect little family and you seem open to the possibilty of more children when you feel the time is right as well as Kara.

It must be such a difficult subject to talk about after the problems you have encountered, must be so hard

and to you both

Originally Posted by marinewife05

You both sound like you are completely devoted to each other and to your family.
I wish you both luck.

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...

Kara's Husband

You expressed your feelings so well. Kara is lucky to have you in her corner.

You know, this is a prime example as to why there are 2 sides to EVERY story. I should have thought about that before I posted the first time.

to you both. I wish you both nothing but love and happiness and I also wish for a solution what will make you BOTH happy.

Aw, G, you sound like a wonderful husband! It sounds like you're both on the same page, just reacting differently. I hope you are able to sit down together face to face and talk like this...

I know how hard infertility can be on people... I only had a minor case of it, but I know how it was starting to effect me after only 15 months, it gets SO painful.

Just a few thoughts, and I hope you don't mind my unsolicited and minimally experienced advice... Have you tried injectables instead of Clomid? They not only often have less side effects, but also might produce a more mature egg, which in theory might reduce the chances of a chemical pregnancy. Progesterone is also a very good idea.

As for cost... Do you have to use formula? And have you considered cloth diapering? That is a high one-time cost, but saves money over all.

I could go on and on, but I don't know how much rambling you want to hear... If you (either of you!) want to chat more, maybe throw ideas back and forth, I'd be more than happy to be an idea bouncing board! Feel free to PM me if you do.

I think you guys have a strong relationship and I hope STC (struggling to conceive) doesn't cause any further hurt! Hang in there, and remember to enjoy each other and talk as much as possible!



...and AW to Nora.

Kara and I have both been watching this thread all evening and want to thank all that have left words of support. We have talked quite a bit this evening and realized we were both skirting issues that needed to be discussed. We are both on the same page when it comes to life plans and on having more children but we were both worried about upsetting the other.


She does understand and respect my concerns and much to her relief, she now knows I am yearning to expand our family. I believe last night was an overload point for her due to the doctor pushing the infertility issue and it manifested itself as an emotional breakdown. We usually have a great and open line of communication between us but somehow it was not working on this. It took a jolt on both our parts and an ability to put pride aside to come to a place were heart felt truths can be discussed.

Once again, she proved to me tonight why I love her so much. She is an amazing woman and my best friend that I hope to spend the rest of my life with.

I am so glad to see that through this thread you two were able to open up comunication with eachother and begin to figure things out.

It is so hard to discuss things that are so painful to us even when it is with the person we love the very most.

G many men react the way you do to tough times. I know my husband does. his strength really helps pull me through when i would rather curl up into a ball and sleep forever. The only problem with always trying to be the families strength is that it does not allow you to get your feelings out. Now that you both have you can begin the long healing process ahead.

I am terribly sorry for everything you two have lost and almost lost, but look at the strength it has brought to your relationship. Many relationships can not face this pain and make it through. You should both be very proud of yourselves and eachother.

I wish you both the best of luck with what ever your future plans may hold.

As someone who went thru years of infetility and later became an adoptive Mom, I can truly empathize with both of you. I cried constantly all thru the 'waiting for a baby' years; diaper commercials made me sob.

When we adopted, I was lucky enough to be a stay at home Mom. I actually had no choice at first---one of the conditions of the agency was that I stay home with our daughter for at least the first 6 months. My DH worked his tail off to provide for us and I haven't had an outside-the-home job since.

Kara, it sounds to me as if a pregnancy is extremely risky and, as much as you want another child, you can't put yourself in that position. You have your son to think about. You mentioned the possibility of becoming foster parents. We had to become licensed foster parents before we could adopt. This probably sounds very mercenary, but apparently supporting the family is an issue at this point. When you have a foster child in your home the state will subsidize his/her care. You may be able to request a foster child who you can later adopt. That way Kara could stay at home, but there would be the additional income.

There is a solution to your problem, you just have to find the one that's right for both of you. It sounds as if this thread has at least opened the lines of communication between you. It's obvious you love each other and want to make each other happy. I wish both of you the best.

i take my hat off to you G- takes guts to do what you did, to express your feelings like that. you are a good man and your wife now knows how much you love her.

Thank you everyone. I appreciate the advice and encouragement. Thanks also to my husband. I love you.

Originally Posted by BelongsToEvie

As for cost... Do you have to use formula? And have you considered cloth diapering? That is a high one-time cost, but saves money over all.

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If we have a biological child, I plan to breast feed as long as possible so formula hopefully wouldn't be needed, but if we adopt it would be. I hope to at least try cloth diapers, but I think that will still take some convincing. Hubby isn't a big fan of any kind of poop, let alone poop in our washing machine. There is a new cloth diaper service in town that is fairly reasonable in price (comparable to disposables) so that may be an option and/or happy medium. It's just a matter of finding a daycare that will accept cloth diapers, though I don't think that is as much of an issue these days. Also, as much as he thinks I would insist on the most expensive daycare ($200+/week), I would like to find a less expensive home daycare like we did with our son. I know what to look for now so we hopefully won't have the bad experiences like we did with him.

Originally Posted by kara_leigh

Thank you everyone. I appreciate the advice and encouragement.

Thanks also to my husband. I love you.



If we have a biological child, I plan to breast feed as long as possible so formula hopefully wouldn't be needed, but if we adopt it would be. I hope to at least try cloth diapers, but I think that will still take some convincing.

Hubby isn't a big fan of any kind of poop, let alone poop in our washing machine. There is a new cloth diaper service in town that is fairly reasonable in price (comparable to disposables) so that may be an option and/or happy medium. It's just a matter of finding a daycare that will accept cloth diapers, though I don't think that is as much of an issue these days. Also, as much as he thinks I would insist on the most expensive daycare ($200+/week), I would like to find a less expensive home daycare like we did with our son. I know what to look for now so we hopefully won't have the bad experiences like we did with him.

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Could you have a small home day care to offset costs>?

Kara, you've got yourself a good man. to both of you.

I don't really like to give medical advice (since I'm a nurse and not a doctor), but I would suggest talking to your family doctor about what you've been going thru emotionally. He or she may defer to the specialist, but would more likely offer some useful advice.

You'll be in my prayers. I wish your family the best.