Why do they do this to me?

Today I went to lunch with my friend from work and the higher ups. In the middle of our meal, my boss proceeded to tell me one of the most awful stories of cat cruelty I've ever heard. He saw it on that Animal Planet show about the animal police, which I never watch. The story doesn't bear repeating, but it will stay will me for a long time. I can't stand to hear about things like this...I realize that it happened, whether I heard about it or not, but I still don't want to know.

Why do people feel the need to tell me things knowing they are going to upset me so? Do I just work with sadistic people? My boss actually seems to like me and has been very good to me in other respects. How would you handle a situation like this?

I don't know why people feel the need to tell cat lovers atrocious stories. I flat out refuse to listen now. I don't care if people think I'm rude. I say "Don't tell me" and put my hands over my ears. If they continue, I say "I'm serious I do not want to know" and will walk away if I have to, to shut them up.

Does your boss know you love kitties? I find it odd he/she would bring up the subject at all , especially to such an extreme story . Worst of all, you can't say anything! It's your boss !

Have you told him that you don't like hearing stories like that? He may have assumed that you watch those shows as a lot of people do and was trying (and failing) to get on a topic that you could join in on. Much like some of the stories shared on here in IMO/Breaking Mews.
I don't think he honestly meant harm, more likely he was just being a bit dense. But, you can't expect people to automatically know things. You have to tell them.

Take him aside and politely let him know that you're a bit sensitive to stuff like that and that you'd appreciate it if he didn't talk about that around you.

Assuming he knows you love cats, I agree - I think he was just trying to find common ground. I mean - he didn't think it was funny or anything, right? I seriously doubt he was trying to upset you. I think it would have been perfectly fine for you to say something about how awful it is and how upsetting you find it. No harm in saying you're sensitive to something and would rather not hear it.

Given that you didn't say anything at the time, maybe tomorrow the opportunity to tell him you had a nightmare about it will present itself - and that'll either prevent him from ever doing something like that again, or open the door for you to ask him to stop with whatever story if there is a next one.

I'm so sorry sweetie! I can't take it anymore either. I can't even read the news articles about it anymore, and avoid them completely here - and everywhere.

Give your baby extra hugs tonight!

I missed the part about it being your boss. Still, I would not have listened, abuse stories are not appropriate polite conversation.

In my last trip to Vegas I had a similar situation... I was in a huge table with about 10-12 people, and they all knew I am a big time animal lover... They started talking about weird food dishes... and came to a most CRUEL, UNBEARABLE dish that involved a live animal, that I will not describe it; but when I saw it coming, I couldn't help it... I left the table.
Not out of rudeness (although I am sure it was sort or rude), not to make a statement), but I simply could not bare to listen to them describe it so graphically.... There are things that are stronger than me... On this case I could just not take it... As rude as it could be perceived, I would just excused myself from the table. It would be stronger than me...
If anybody said anything about it.... Oh well.

People also do this to me ALL the time, including family members who KNOW better! My boss was the worst though, who told me that he put his cat down because he was peeing on his bed after they just had a new baby. Convienient huh? I literally told him I couldn't say anything to him right then without getting fired and I had to walk away.

This is ridiculous because it has happened to me as well!!! I get so angry with people who think I need to know the lastest animal cruelty case!! I don't care who they, repeating these stories to me when they know I LOVE CATS, says ALOT about their character (or lack of character)! I tell them I don't want to hear it and will walk away. If this is what they want to talk about then we have nothing to say to each other. Even my boss!! He needs to find some appropriate conversation on the job!!! I had a close neighbor of mine come to my door one evening and ask me, "Is that one of your cats dead in the middle of the street?" I am appalled by people 98% of the time.

I would have said something like "I really cannot stomach hearing those stories please don't continue" and if they continued I would have left the table saying I was going to the ladies room. If things continued afterward I would get more adamant about letting them know its not appropriate conversation at a dinner table and if I had to I would have permanently left the table. You don't have to subject yourself to anything you don't want to hear.

DH & I were applying for a car loan at a local bank years ago. For some reason, the loan officer started telling us a story about what he and his buddies "did to cats" when they were kids. When he stopped to chuckle, I told him (in a voice dripping with venom) "We have 5 cats." The fool actually sputtered, then turned bright red, saying, "OH, I didn't know you were cat people."
What difference should that have made? I will NEVER understand why people thinking telling stories about cruelty to animals is acceptable behaviour.

Some people are just sadistic. If someone starts to tell a story that is going to upset me, I will say, "I don't want to hear this." If they continue in any way with the story, I will get up and walk away (usually to the bathroom) and stay away a descent amount of time. If they continue with it when I come back, I will repeat that I don't want to hear it. If they still continue, I will say, "I said I will not listen to this. Good bye!" Then I will just leave. People who care about you will not go out of their way to upset you. People who have nasty sadistic streaks will not let stuff go, and will continue to try get a reaction out of you.

Originally Posted by libby74

DH & I were applying for a car loan at a local bank years ago. For some reason, the loan officer started telling us a story about what he and his buddies "did to cats" when they were kids. When he stopped to chuckle, I told him (in a voice dripping with venom) "We have 5 cats." The fool actually sputtered, then turned bright red, saying, "OH, I didn't know you were cat people."
What difference should that have made? I will NEVER understand why people thinking telling stories about cruelty to animals is acceptable behaviour.

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People like that usual turn out to be serial killers. Someone should check his basement for human bodies. People like that make my skin crawl.

Originally Posted by libby74

DH & I were applying for a car loan at a local bank years ago. For some reason, the loan officer started telling us a story about what he and his buddies "did to cats" when they were kids. When he stopped to chuckle, I told him (in a voice dripping with venom) "We have 5 cats." The fool actually sputtered, then turned bright red, saying, "OH, I didn't know you were cat people."
What difference should that have made?

Click to expand...

he sounds like a ing loser

I´m Really so sorry about Angie.... those kind of people DO NOT have any Education for the other people...
A couple of time I had those situations with a different kind of people....
I should to stand up and walk away...
Want to hear the finish... I keep away of those persons until now...

you´re not alone in this my friend...

It was totally inappropriate for him to repeat this story. Like religion and politics, some things should be off limits. He is a clod to have put you through listening to that, IMO.

When the person opens up a sentence starting with 'did you hear the horrible story about the cat', I would raise my arm and say 'please I would rather not hear it'. Stop it right away. If the person has any sense at all, they will stop, that's what I would do and actually have done in the past.

My boss knows how I feel about cats and he's told me other horrible stories in the past. This time, I felt like I was literally going to be sick right there at the table. I could feel my stomach rolling. And I have a strong stomach. I pushed my plate away and couldn't even think about finishing my lunch. Maybe if I would have gotten sick, it would have taught him a lesson (though somehow I doubt it; he has a strong stomach, too.)

Thank you all for the support. I got so mad when my boss told the story that I could not really contain my anger. I told him what I thought should happen to the man that did this horrible thing and where I think the man should spend eternity.