Not furniture this time.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly 6 years. I do love and care about him and more often than not enjoy his company. We have been through a lot together. And we have both grown and learned a lot in this relationship.
But........
I have been feeling, well, ambivalent about the relationship for a long time. I feel like the flame has gone completely out - on my part at least - I am going through the motions.
We squabble ... a lot. I harbor some resentments - things that I cannot change - like his visual impairment and how that places extra strain on me as the non-blind partner. And those resentments often bubble to the surface inappropriately. Like tonight's quarrel.
My bf is a good man. He is honest, hard working and ethical. He loves me.. .at least I think he still does ... not sure as I sit here and type. We can and do get on each others nerves.
A part of me wants to end it... I am afraid to let go of it... and I am afraid of hurting him. He doesn't have the emotional support and resources that I do.
I feel stuck. I feel trapped. I feel like everyone's caregiver (Mom, properties, cats, etc.) but no one shows me any mercy. I know I have put myself in this position. But I often feel as though this relationship is more of a burden than a refuge for me emotionally. Especially lately.
He does try. He helps around the house. He does dishes. He is really nice to my mom who drives him crazy. He puts up with my nonsense. But I am just not "feeling" it anymore.
There isn't anyone else. Heck - I am not exactly hot stuff - a fat, middle-aged broad with a wagonload of baggage. So it's not like I have guys knocking down my door. (Frankly it has never been like that.)
So - I am at an impasse. I feel better by putting this in writing, but no closer to resolving the situation. I know no one out there has the answer, really. But any advice from folks who are not emotionally entangled in the situation might be helpful.
Thanks.
AB
My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly 6 years. I do love and care about him and more often than not enjoy his company. We have been through a lot together. And we have both grown and learned a lot in this relationship.
But........
I have been feeling, well, ambivalent about the relationship for a long time. I feel like the flame has gone completely out - on my part at least - I am going through the motions.
We squabble ... a lot. I harbor some resentments - things that I cannot change - like his visual impairment and how that places extra strain on me as the non-blind partner. And those resentments often bubble to the surface inappropriately. Like tonight's quarrel.
My bf is a good man. He is honest, hard working and ethical. He loves me.. .at least I think he still does ... not sure as I sit here and type. We can and do get on each others nerves.
A part of me wants to end it... I am afraid to let go of it... and I am afraid of hurting him. He doesn't have the emotional support and resources that I do.
I feel stuck. I feel trapped. I feel like everyone's caregiver (Mom, properties, cats, etc.) but no one shows me any mercy. I know I have put myself in this position. But I often feel as though this relationship is more of a burden than a refuge for me emotionally. Especially lately.
He does try. He helps around the house. He does dishes. He is really nice to my mom who drives him crazy. He puts up with my nonsense. But I am just not "feeling" it anymore.
There isn't anyone else. Heck - I am not exactly hot stuff - a fat, middle-aged broad with a wagonload of baggage. So it's not like I have guys knocking down my door. (Frankly it has never been like that.)
So - I am at an impasse. I feel better by putting this in writing, but no closer to resolving the situation. I know no one out there has the answer, really. But any advice from folks who are not emotionally entangled in the situation might be helpful.
Thanks.
AB