Scardy Cats Teach Me Patience

Ferals or just plain nervous kitties are such a challenge but at the end when they finally cuddle with you (sometimes this can take a looooong time!!) but it becomes worth the patience and tolerance and love when they finally get over it and love you.
I had gotten a kitten over the summer. I got him and his sister. They were not ferals. They were all born and raised together in a nice house. The girl was immediately a lover, not afraid of a thing. But her brother! Man he was afraid of his own shadow. It was frustrating cause I wanted him to like me. Well it took months but I kept talking to him and waiting. One day I had some tuna, he came up next to me looking. He had never gotten that close before. I let him taste a little tuna and guess what? He is all over me now. His fears are all gone. He is like a normal kittty!!! It was such a joyous time and so worth the wait.
So, now we have this fluffy kittty. I have written a lot about her. First I named her Hoodini, but hubby does not like that name and since he was the one that rescued her he named her Fluffy. We have had her now for 3 weeks. She did not come out at all for a week or so. Now she pops out little by little, but still runs belly to the ground. But she will stop and stare at me and I talk to her and she will just sit there. So I enjoy each milestone and keep in mind what we went through with Scooter. she is soooo fulffy and so pretty, I cant wait to hug her!!

Your scaredy cats are lucky to be with you. I always advise patience and letting the cat come to you in his or her own time in these situations. Mazy cat was unsocialized and took over 2 years to allow caress and even longer to get on me at all.

She's now coming up on her 5 anniversary of her Gotcha Day (in four more days) and I continually marvel over the sweet Lovey lap cat she has become.

Thanks for the reply. Congrats on your aniversary! You reinforced my patience just to know that they DO come around, just in THIER time, not ours. You are so right, we have to not push at all and let them make all the decisions. Thats what I did with Scooter. I would tell my hubby over and over, "he hates me! he will never let me near him" but I never went after him or forced anything on him. And he came to me on his own and now we are inseperable! I cant wait for Fluffy to come around!

Working with stray and feral cats myself I know exactly how you feel. There is nothing better than the feeling the first time they let you pet them and a lot of times once they DO trust you there is an incredible bond there!

Im beginning to more and more believe in talking "baby talk" or something, to these shy cats. Ie it is not enough to just talk friendly to them. Talk (also) cutier than in your normal voice. Good if the content you say is friendly. But the quality and amount of the sound is most important.

I think it is part of cats language. Friendly Toms who try to court a reluctant lady. Or mom cats talking with their babies...
Both these do talk quite a lot, in soft voices, often a lot of different sounds...

My Charlie was aloof when he was a little kitty I don't know what's wrong with him because he was born in our house. I saw his mother giving birth to him. I tried to please him, always fed him, until one day he was looking at me hiding at the back of the couch then he walked slowly towards me (kinda shy!) then I picked him and he ran away

But after that we became close and even sleeps beside me.

Cats behavior are quite amazing!

Thats exactly what we do with little miss Furry Butt, we talk baby talk to her and say how pretty she is and how much we love her. She will sit for a long time while we coo at her.

Last night for the first time in 7 years, my Lucky Pierre came to me when I called him. He jumped up on the sofa next to me and actually allowed me to scratch his belly. Two firsts at the same time!! Lucky was born feral and I didn't try to socialize him until he was about 18 months old (long story on why I waited so long). He's an indoor-outdoor cat that spends more and more of his life indoors (by his choice).

Never give up on them and rejoice when you make progress. It warms the heart when they give their trust to you.

7 years??? You must REALLY have a lot of patience! Gosh I hope it doesnt take that long for Fluffy, but if it does, so be it. All I really care about is that she is warm, dry, safe and fed. but congrats on your new lap kitty! It really is an awsome feeling when they love us back.

I have girl and boy from same litter and rose by same feral mom. Torako, the girl was the friendliest one even when she was a kitten in my back yard with her feral mom. Brother, Torao, on the other hand, was a scaredy one. He was always buttering up to his mommy.
It takes time but they all come and understand your love. All of my cats are indoor – outdoor. Torao only let me pet him in the cat room. I wonder cat room is the safest place for him since I had my feral family confined there over the winter.
Torao loves being petted and he likes his tummy rub.

Before my Charlie was an indoor cat even if the doors are open he never go out until he met a girl cat. He started to leave our house during the night (I think he is in love ) but when I wake up, I will see him beside me sleeping...

Even if he's a big boy cat now he will still return to his mommy

Three years ago, I trapped Chester and Teresa when they were six months old, intending to have them as outside cats, as they had been born to a very feral mother. My husband couldn't stand the idea, so they stayed in. Teresa has her own room (a torti, she distains all our other cats and screams - literally - when any of them come into her domain!)

Chester is out with the rest of the gang but I have yet to give him more than a three-second chin scritch. He does blink at us often and is no longer afraid of us. When anyone else come to the house, however, he doesn't come out from under the bed for days. If he were human, he'd be wearing thick glasses with tape on the nosepiece and a pocket protecter. He's my little nerd.

When I originally got Mama Mia (started as a foster, but turned into a keeper lol), she was a total scaredy cat. Didn't like people, didn't like other cats, just hid all the time. It took a long time but I finally got her to open up to me (and only me, she doesn't like other people). It was the most rewarding feeling in the entire world. That's when I decided that I had to keep her, I knew that I would feel guilty having to give her up to another new home where she would have to take just as long, if not longer, to adjust to new people. And now she's the most cuddly little thing ever. One of her favorite things is to curl up in my lap when I'm sitting on the couch and just make herself into as tight of a ball as possible and lick my arm. She can go on like that for hours. I just love challenge kitties- I think the rewards are one of the greatest things in the entire world.

Originally Posted by MysteryCat

Before my Charlie was an indoor cat even if the doors are open he never go out until he met a girl cat. He started to leave our house during the night (I think he is in love

) but when I wake up, I will see him beside me sleeping...

Even if he's a big boy cat now he will still return to his mommy

Click to expand...

Getting Charlie neutered will keep him from wanting to roam. (and also will prevent more unwanted kittens being made)