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Stressful departings...

post #1 of 13
2/14/10 at 1:21pm
Thread Starter 
Does anyone have any suggestions to make my kitty less stressed when I leave? When she sees me putting on my coat and shoes, she starts to spaz and race around the place like a maniac, scratching the furniture.

I will probably will try Feliway - but the infuser is so expensive!

My coworker has a new puppy, and she gives him frozen peanut butter in one of those hollow chew toys, and she says he gets excited for her to leave now. I can't think of anything I can do for Sophie to make it more pleasant. I give her a couple treats, but they're already demolished by the time I'm stepping out the door, so they don't really do the trick.

Any ideas??
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post #2 of 13
2/14/10 at 1:30pm
Well, there IS a toy that you put some treats in and takes the cat a while to get them out.
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post #3 of 13
2/14/10 at 1:34pm
When Max was living, he did not like to see the coat, hat, pocketbook, or suitcases come out. He would go hide. He was so black that is he hid and closed his eyes, you could never find him. So I started picking him up and shutting him in the utility room. That is where his litter box and water was anyway. He just stayed there until someone came home. He was such a mischievous cat, if we let him have the run of the house while we were gone, now telling what he would have done. Would shutting your cat up work for you.
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post #4 of 13
2/14/10 at 4:46pm
Adopt a kitty friend for her to keep her occupied!
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post #5 of 13
2/14/10 at 5:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailie View Post
Adopt a kitty friend for her to keep her occupied!
I second this. It's wonderful for a cat to have another cat companion, as long as they get along after the initial adjustment period. They can keep each other occupied or just be quiet company for each other, so Sophie will be less stressed and lonely when you're gone, and less desperate to keep you at home.

Many shelters don't let people adopt single kittens these days, only in pairs, if there isn't already a younger cat in the household. They recognize the importance of cats having friends of their own species, and it certainly can make them happier and more well-adjusted.
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post #6 of 13
2/14/10 at 10:06pm
Thread Starter 
Not everyone can afford or have a situation where they can keep multiple cats. I know its really common on these forums to have more than one, but it shouldn't be the answer to all problems. Sophie and I are really happy together. Just because there's a small bump in the road, doesn't mean there can't be a simple solution for the two of us.

I hope I didn't sound rude. It just frustrates me when I often the answers I get to my questions are just "to get another cat". I hate feeling like a lacking cat owner because I don't get her a playmate. But getting another cat is a big deal, and its not something I can commit to in the situation I'm in right now.

On a different thought, I found out today that she's grown into catnip now. She was all over it when I brought home a toy from the store. If I left her with a catnip toy in the mornings, I think maybe that would help?

But does catnip lose its effect if they get it too routinely? (I tried to google for the answer to this, with no luck...) Does anyone know?
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post #7 of 13
2/14/10 at 10:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tico View Post
I hope I didn't sound rude. It just frustrates me when I often the answers I get to my questions are just "to get another cat". I hate feeling like a lacking cat owner because I don't get her a playmate. But getting another cat is a big deal, and its not something I can commit to in the situation I'm in right now.
Don't get frustrated! I am also a one cat mommy and while I would LOVE to be able to adopt a friend for Holland, it isn't even close to financially possible right now. Neither you or I are a lacking cat owner because we can't afford another one. You are giving Sophie a safe, loving home and that is to be commended.

Holland doesn't freak out when I leave the house, but she does give me what I call her "death stare" when I get my things together and she knows I'm leaving. I always try to remember to turn the TV or radio on for her while I'm gone, you might try that.

I can't answer your question about catnip, but there are several people here who are knowledgeable about it and can give you advice.

Is there a way for you to schedule Sophie's mealtime at the same time you leave for the day? Perhaps if she's eating when you go it will be easier for her. And as someone else mentioned, you can get toys that you put treats inside and your cat has to work to get them out.

I wish I had some better advice for you. I know that it took me a while to feel comfortable leaving Holland for several hours. But now I know I can leave her alone overnight (and on a couple of occasions I've left her for two nights!) and she is just fine when I get back home. I just make sure to give her extra love when I've left her alone for (what I feel is) too long.
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post #8 of 13
2/15/10 at 4:21am
Awww hun, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend at all. I was simply offering a suggestion. I don't find anything wrong AT ALL with having only 1 cat and I don't doubt for a minute that you and your baby are happy together.
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post #9 of 13
2/15/10 at 5:07am
My suggestion is to allow a little time to play with her every morning, a while before you leave. The idea is to include her in the routine. Schedule the play time a half hour or so before you have to leave, and then do something else, eat breakfast, feed her, so she doesn't associate the Game time with you leaving.

But she will be feeling more secure and ready for a nap, when you leave if you give her that Game time.

In addition, leaving a radio playing quietly, and putting a bird feeder outside a favorite window will help occupy her.

Cats are little manipulators, and I suspect after you close and lock the door she goes about her business without pining at all.

Do not make a big deal over her right before you leave. As I said before, play with her earlier, so she feels content, then, when it's time to leave, just say cheerfully "Bye Kitty (what's her name?)" Be good! You might put a picture in your mind of you walking back in the door as you walk out. Just in case she has telepathic abilities. (I'm serious!)

You can get the Feliway plug in diffusers for a good price through www.entirelypets.com, also google "entirelypets.com coupon" and get a coupon code for a discount or free shipping.

Rescue Remedy is a little less expensive and could be worth a try, too.

Let us know how it goes.
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post #10 of 13
2/15/10 at 8:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tico View Post
Not everyone can afford or have a situation where they can keep multiple cats. I know its really common on these forums to have more than one, but it shouldn't be the answer to all problems. Sophie and I are really happy together. Just because there's a small bump in the road, doesn't mean there can't be a simple solution for the two of us.

I hope I didn't sound rude. It just frustrates me when I often the answers I get to my questions are just "to get another cat". I hate feeling like a lacking cat owner because I don't get her a playmate. But getting another cat is a big deal, and its not something I can commit to in the situation I'm in right now.
I'm sorry you are frustrated by my advice. I will try to explain my reasoning. Having more than one cat isn't the "answer to all problems," but I stand by it being a useful suggestion for when a cat apparently dreads being alone and becomes stressed when its people go away. Cats can be very socialized and many love/need companionship; those cats suffer from spending long periods alone, and show it by acting frantic, needy, or unhappy as we prepare to leave them.

As you say, getting another cat is a Big Deal. It requires more resources — and you need to find a compatible personality. It's never as simple as "just get another cat." But if it can make a lonely cat happier, healthier and/or better adjusted, people will naturally suggest it.

If you are getting this advice often in other threads, it might help to explain your situation — that, although your cat is having behavioral issues that might be helped by a companion, you simply can't manage a second cat. When we know this, I hope we'd all try to help in ways that don't frustrate you. It is a perfectly understandable situation — once we understand it!
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post #11 of 13
2/15/10 at 11:33pm
Thread Starter 
Aw, thanks - don't worry, guys -- no harm done It was a little knee-jerk reaction on my part, because I was looking forward to reading some simple tips, and I was just disappointed most of the first suggestions were the least simplest solution! But thank you for taking the time to reply. I shouldn't have been so frustrated.

Sophie doesn't really have any other behavioural issues. I've only had her for 3.5 months and both she and I were going through kind of an adjustment period. I was a little stressed about making sure she was settling in and happy, although now things have only gotten better and better. Just generally speaking, I see getting a second cat quite a bit on other posts as a solution for various issues. So, I guess I was just like, I KNOW getting a cat would help, but if I could do that, I wouldn't be asking for advice instead!

Mystik, thank you so much for sharing your experience with Holland. It really encouraging!

Anyhow, back to the OT...

Mr.Blanche or Mystik -- do you know the name of the toy??

Quote:
Originally Posted by otto View Post
My suggestion is to allow a little time to play with her every morning, a while before you leave. The idea is to include her in the routine. Schedule the play time a half hour or so before you have to leave, and then do something else, eat breakfast, feed her, so she doesn't associate the Game time with you leaving.

But she will be feeling more secure and ready for a nap, when you leave if you give her that Game time.
I really like this suggestion. Right now we have snuggle time in my bed. I tend to be a last minute riser and am always in a rush out the door. I suppose that doesn't help much, does it.

It only takes 10 minutes of play to poop her out So maybe I will get up earlier, and spend more time to include her in a less rushed morning routine.

Quote:
In addition, leaving a radio playing quietly, and putting a bird feeder outside a favorite window will help occupy her.
Yep, do the talk radio thing already.

And last week, I bought a birdfeeder that attaches to the window (can't hang anything outside from my building.) But no birds have found it yet I don't know how to make them come for free food!

Quote:
Cats are little manipulators, and I suspect after you close and lock the door she goes about her business without pining at all.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure of this myself, too!

Quote:
Do not make a big deal over her right before you leave. As I said before, play with her earlier, so she feels content, then, when it's time to leave, just say cheerfully "Bye Kitty (what's her name?)" Be good!
Yes, I'm careful not to do this.

Quote:
You can get the Feliway plug in diffusers for a good price through www.entirelypets.com, also google "entirelypets.com coupon" and get a coupon code for a discount or free shipping.

Rescue Remedy is a little less expensive and could be worth a try, too.

Let us know how it goes.
Thanks, I'll look into this.

Quote:
Is there a way for you to schedule Sophie's mealtime at the same time you leave for the day? Perhaps if she's eating when you go it will be easier for her. And as someone else mentioned, you can get toys that you put treats inside and your cat has to work to get them out.
I was feeding her in the mornings when I first got her, but I was starting to worry she associate being fed with me leaving, and I didn't want that. But maybe, I could feed her when I first get up, so she eats before I leave? And after a playtime, she'll be set to fall asleep.

Btw, I was able to learn that overexposure to catnip will lessen its effects over time, so I don't think I'll do that, at least all the time.

Anyways, thank you everyone for your advice. I'm sure it will help.
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post #12 of 13
2/16/10 at 12:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tico View Post
Mr.Blanche or Mystik -- do you know the name of the toy??
Tico, the one I got for Holland is this one:



It's called a Go Cat Go! Play n' Treat toy. Here's a link to it on Amazon, though I found it at PetSmart (in a 2-pack) for like $4.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...4V1N1GJ600H6YN

One word of warning... if you get this toy make sure that you put treats/kibble in it that will be able to come out of the hole. Holland has shown interest in hers, but she tends to get frustrated when she can smell the treats but can't get them out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tico View Post
Right now we have snuggle time in my bed. I tend to be a last minute riser and am always in a rush out the door. I suppose that doesn't help much, does it.
I know how you feel. Holland LOVES to come under the covers about 1/2 hour before I have to get up, and it makes it SO difficult to get out of bed when my baby is cuddling...

It sounds like you and Sophie are bonding really nicely. Trust me, the more you and she get to know each other, the more your bond will grow. And while she may continue to "punish" you for leaving the house, she'll always be happy to see you when you get home!!
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post #13 of 13
2/16/10 at 8:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tico View Post
I was feeding her in the mornings when I first got her, but I was starting to worry she associate being fed with me leaving, and I didn't want that. But maybe, I could feed her when I first get up, so she eats before I leave? And after a playtime, she'll be set to fall asleep.

Btw, I was able to learn that overexposure to catnip will lessen its effects over time, so I don't think I'll do that, at least all the time.

Anyways, thank you everyone for your advice. I'm sure it will help.
I wouldn't feed her immediately upon awakening. That way lies, being woken up at 5 a.m.

You might just have to change your rise-and-rush habits just a wee bit to accommodate her. Get up early enough to have a little play time for her, and a little time for her to eat breakfast., then as she is having her after breakfast bath in the window (the birds will come eventually), off you go!
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