How do you know if you are on the right path?

Lately, I have relapsed back to feeling like I have nothing left. I know what I want out of life, but it just isn't happening. Maybe I am not meant to be married or to be happy in life. It isn't lack for trying either.

I have been trying to deal with my mom's death, a friend who only cares for herself (who I no longer talk to), a bf that dumped me, my dad getting cancer, and another friend who is going through a divorce. A lot of it hasn't been by choice and I have just had to deal with it.

I think sometimes I put so much energy into taking care of others that I don't take care of myself. I have put my life on hold, by choice, and wonder what is left for me once this is all said and done. A lot of times I'll say I want to go do something and I'll talk myself out of it.

I used to feel like I had a purpose, but I no longer do. I feel that I go through life on a daily basis and have no more motivations. Work is a nightmare most times having to deal with people who think they are better than everyone and suck up to get what they want without repercussions.

I get frustrated because even though I have friends it is not like talking to my mom. I feel sad when I see my friend and her daughter argue and I wish I could just explain to them what it feels like for it to be gone. I no longer take anything for granted.

I feel like I have lost myself over the years with all the life altering events that have occurred. I can't even make plans anymore because each time something bad has happened. How do I even know what is worthwhile anymore?

I think we all get overwhelmed sometimes. And it is normal to feel it. I think the fact that you can verbalize so well about your feelings is good.

It probably wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional just to get you over this hump. It might only take a couple of times before you are feeling better.

I have felt that too. I lost my mom to Alzheimers. I wish I could go to the phone and call her and ask her advice about something or if she wants to go to the fabric store. But, things change. It's a never ending circle. Happy and sad revolve together.

I hope you can find your way through the woods now, spring is coming and I think that will make a lot of us feel better.

I second the suggestion about seeing a professional. Sometimes they can help you.....and just being able to talk about how you're feeling to somebody can help you feel better.

One of the things that will help? You need to get off the merry-go-round and start taking some time for you. You really do need to be there for yourself.

Sometimes a therapist or a counselor is the best way to go. (((hugs)))

I think that as long as you stay pointed in the right direction you'll eventually get where you're going. Maybe just the fact that the road is kind of bumpy and hard to travel is a sign in itself, it seems likely that to get to somewhere worthwhile there is a bit of work involved. And a lot of setbacks are really disguised blessings. If your BF hadn't dumped you then what would happen when you meet the man that really is the right one? Ah, just the ramblings of an old woman who's taken every wrong turn on the map, I think what I'm trying to say is that as long as you avoid the short cuts and stay on the paved road you'll be OK. Hang in there honey, it will get easier.

Awww sweetie, I am so sorry that you're going through all of this. It's a lot to go through, for sure. I do know how you feel however. I too tend to put a lot of effort into others and not nearly as much in myself and we NEED to take care of ourselves. Like you I've been feeling taken for granted a bit and not really sure where I'm headed in life but I am a FIRM believer that everything happens for a reason. Take one day at a time, and try to make the most out of each day that you have. I hope things get better.

First of all let me say that I admire your strength and courage for reaching out and sharing yourself like this. I recently lost my mother. The only human that loved me unconditionally.Then I had to watch my sister die of brain cancer. In between these two traumas I had three cats pass away. I do know your feelings, my friend. I even had to ask God to ease up alittle bit. I couldn't take it anymore.I believe our tragedies make us stronger people. We just don't know it right a way.Therapy would help you sort these things out. After going through what you have gone through you may need help finding your way again.It helped me get back on my path, but I had to process the pain and confusion first. Those feelings will hold you back. I didn't even know HOW to take time for myself!! I didn't think I deserved it. Please don't give up on yourself

I agree with the other comments---you need to focus on you for awhile. Be good to yourself, even if it's nothing more than buying yourself a candy bar or a book, or curling up on the sofa for a day of dong absolutely nothing.
I understand how much you miss talking to your Mom; for me, it was my Dad. As simplistic as it sounds, I found great comfort in going to the cemetery and talking to him. I'd give anything to hear his voice one more time, but it helped just knowing that he was listening to me.
Things will get better eventually Please take care of yourself.

Please take some time to heal yourself. The longer things go on, the harder it is to get back on the right path.
Any of those events could have been overwhelming all by themselves, but all of them in a short span of time is just too much for most people. It is not surprising that you feel the way you do. I agree that some form of therapy may be the thing to do. Even the strongest person needs a little help sometimes.
As far as what is worthwhile, YOU ARE! You seem like an amazingly strong person with a lot of love and caring to give. Someday you will find someone worthy of it.

Thank you all for your kind words of wisdom.

Originally Posted by Winchester

I second the suggestion about seeing a professional. Sometimes they can help you.....and just being able to talk about how you're feeling to somebody can help you feel better.

One of the things that will help? You need to get off the merry-go-round and start taking some time for you. You really do need to be there for yourself.

Sometimes a therapist or a counselor is the best way to go. (((hugs)))

Click to expand...

I forgot to mention that I do see a therapist. I really like and trust him. I usually feel better after talking to him, but it is the inbetween time where I have time to reflect that knocks me backwards.

Originally Posted by bookworm

I think that as long as you stay pointed in the right direction you'll eventually get where you're going. Maybe just the fact that the road is kind of bumpy and hard to travel is a sign in itself, it seems likely that to get to somewhere worthwhile there is a bit of work involved. And a lot of setbacks are really disguised blessings. If your BF hadn't dumped you then what would happen when you meet the man that really is the right one? Ah, just the ramblings of an old woman who's taken every wrong turn on the map, I think what I'm trying to say is that as long as you avoid the short cuts and stay on the paved road you'll be OK. Hang in there honey, it will get easier.

Click to expand...

There is a lot of truth in what you say. His family hated me for whatever reason to the point of insulting me. He was not worth it in the end. It is funny because 2 weeks after that happened I signed up for Match.com. I had a guy write me with a similar background and we have a lot in common. We met and seem to have a connection so I am hoping that something can develop. We are just taking it slow and becoming friends first. He is very kind, laid back, is more mature and ready to settle down. He also likes to travel which I love also.

Originally Posted by Bellaandme

First of all let me say that I admire your strength and courage for reaching out and sharing yourself like this. I recently lost my mother. The only human that loved me unconditionally.Then I had to watch my sister die of brain cancer. In between these two traumas I had three cats pass away. I do know your feelings, my friend. I even had to ask God to ease up alittle bit. I couldn't take it anymore.I believe our tragedies make us stronger people. We just don't know it right a way.Therapy would help you sort these things out. After going through what you have gone through you may need help finding your way again.It helped me get back on my path, but I had to process the pain and confusion first. Those feelings will hold you back. I didn't even know HOW to take time for myself!! I didn't think I deserved it. Please don't give up on yourself

Click to expand...

I am so sorry about what has happened to you. That must have been heartbreaking. I constantly worry about my dad because he is still trying to recover and he is all I have left. How do you live in a world when all your direct family is gone? That is my fear. I keep hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

Originally Posted by libby74

I agree with the other comments---you need to focus on you for awhile. Be good to yourself, even if it's nothing more than buying yourself a candy bar or a book, or curling up on the sofa for a day of dong absolutely nothing.
I understand how much you miss talking to your Mom; for me, it was my Dad. As simplistic as it sounds, I found great comfort in going to the cemetery and talking to him. I'd give anything to hear his voice one more time, but it helped just knowing that he was listening to me.
Things will get better eventually Please take care of yourself.

Click to expand...

I do visit the cemetery. I talk to her also, but it is not the same. It is a constant reminder that she is gone. I often think of how unfair it was for both my parents to suffer so horribly when neither deserved it. They have always been good people. I would have gladly traded places if it meant their health was repaired.

Originally Posted by krazy kat2

Please take some time to heal yourself. The longer things go on, the harder it is to get back on the right path.
Any of those events could have been overwhelming all by themselves, but all of them in a short span of time is just too much for most people. It is not surprising that you feel the way you do. I agree that some form of therapy may be the thing to do. Even the strongest person needs a little help sometimes.
As far as what is worthwhile, YOU ARE! You seem like an amazingly strong person with a lot of love and caring to give. Someday you will find someone worthy of it.

Click to expand...

That's what I keep trying to believe, but I have never believed that I was ever worth anything. People have not always been very kind so I tend to want to be alone. I try to get out so that I get outside of my bubble. It is the only way that I can move forward.