What Do I Say to Him???

bellaandme

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 6, 2010
Messages
2,001
Purraise
22
Location
Indianapolis, IN
I have a great friend at work. I haven't known him very long, but we really hit it off. He met Bella the other day and just fell in love with her..of course. Now he wants a cat of his own. I feel uneasy about this. He is alittle impulsive about relationships in his life. He also has a drinking problem that he isn't ready to deal with yet. Since I am very passionate about cats being treated like the gems they are, I hesitate encouraging him to bring one into his life. He could be great and his life could turn around, but if he decides that it's too much and he can't deal with a cat and wants to get rid of it--then it will cost us our friendship .I told him it is not something you just do on a whim. A cat is a life and you are responsible for all it's needs and wants for possible the next 15 to 20 years!! I just can't get excited about this at all. Am I wrong?? I suggested that he try to foster a cat to see if it is really something he wants to take on right now, but he is determined to get his own cat. Am I wrong in how I feel? Am I being too hard on him? I have been pretty blunt with him about his drinking and his lifestyle and I don't want to judge him. He knows that he doesn't want to cross me when it comes to cats!! Please any suggestions would be appreciated. What do I do?? What do I say??
 

-_aj_-

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Aug 24, 2008
Messages
10,487
Purraise
61
Location
North East England
i think if he is so implusive i would not recommend a cat what so ever whether it be for life or fostering

what if he gets bored of a foster cat that need so much time love and attention after a couple of weeks that would be horrific for the cat

im so sorry if it sounds mean but i would advise against a cat but maybe he could try pet sitting for friends that has cats and see if he thinks he could handle having a cat for 10+ years
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

bellaandme

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 6, 2010
Messages
2,001
Purraise
22
Location
Indianapolis, IN
Originally Posted by -_aj_-

i think if he is so implusive i would not recommend a cat what so ever whether it be for life or fostering

what if he gets bored of a foster cat that need so much time love and attention after a couple of weeks that would be horrific for the cat

im so sorry if it sounds mean but i would advise against a cat but maybe he could try pet sitting for friends that has cats and see if he thinks he could handle having a cat for 10+ years
It doesn't sound mean at all_aj_I want honest opinions. Thank you.
 

kailie

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jan 20, 2010
Messages
9,025
Purraise
25
Location
New Brunswick, Canada
Well it sounds like he's pretty determined... I guess all you can do hun is continue to talk about the importance of responsible pet ownership and HOPE that he'll so the right thing, fall madly in love with a kitty who can help HIM as much as he can help them.
 

ut0pia

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
5,120
Purraise
34
I think it depends on the person, being impulsive has nothing to do with whether or not he will be able to care for a cat or not. It depends on whether or not a cat is just as important to him as a human being. I think that is just part of someone's values about life, part of how they see the world that cannot be changed.

When I got Jake I did not plan it, it was completely impulsive, someone I knew told me that he had kittens he was going be taking to a shelter the next day because his cat gave birth unexpectedly and I just took one. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, I had no idea how much it would cost, I knew nothing. And the decision was made in less than 5 minutes. As soon as I brought him home though I started reading things about care of cats, nutrition, all this stuff a cat owner should know. It doesn't take very long to learn. And when it comes to other problems in life that could interfere with being a good cat owner, my thoughts are that sometimes knowing you have someone so innocent who depends entirely on you to take care of keeps you going and helps you stray strong and keep going, you are willing to put your own needs behind in order to provide the best for your kitty.

If your friend has it in him to treat animals as humans, he will make a good cat dad regardless of his life's circumstances. If he's the type of person, he would put everything second and the kitty will become the #1 priority..
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

bellaandme

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 6, 2010
Messages
2,001
Purraise
22
Location
Indianapolis, IN
Had a long talk with my friend today about the plan on adopting a cat. He had a lot of questions and seems very sincere about being a wonderful daddy. I don't want to try to deny him the unconditional love that a cat would give him.Soooo...later this month I am going with him to find his cat. He seems to be a little concerned about finding the "right cat" for him. I assured him that he will KNOW in his heart when he finds the cat for him. And the age, sex or color of the baby will not matter at all. I am giving him a litterbox I have that has never been used and an extra carrier I have from my multi-cat days. We have already established that I will be the god-mother. If anyone still has an opinion about this, please don't hesitate to reply. I will keep everyone updated on this adventure. Keep your fingers and paws crossed!!!!
 

ut0pia

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
5,120
Purraise
34
Sounds wonderful


As far as finding the right cat, I don't believe there is such a thing as finding the wrong cat...
I think we all have equal potential to love all kitties
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
Tell him he needn't worry - if he's visiting shelters or adoption days at Petsmart or something, the cat will pick him.


They're like children in that sense - once they're with you, you love them no matter how things develop - you take it all in stride.
 

mrblanche

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
12,578
Purraise
119
Location
Texas
I'm going to be brave and say that while this could turn out badly, I would never have the heart to turn down a sincere adopter.

The example I would give would be the little kitten that a very distinguished couple wanted to adopt two days before Christmas for their daughter, who wanted a kitten for Christmas. It looked like a good match, but the shelter doesn't encourage animals as gifts. They encouraged the couple to get a gift certificate for the cat of their daughter's choice. I don't know if they got the gift certificate, but I never heard about them adopting a kitten and the kitten they had wanted to adopt ended up getting the terrible URI we had going around and either died or was put to sleep a few weeks later.
 

kara_leigh

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
2,325
Purraise
4
Location
Bradleyville, MO
I'm another that agrees that impulsion isn't all bad. Nora was a complete impulse buy. I saw an ad on Craigslist, called them up, and met them in a parking lot in front of a department store a couple hours later. She is the best cat we have ever had, though, and is spoiled to death. We do everything we need to do for her, as pet parents. She is spayed, up to date on vaccines, and eats the best food I can find for her. Even my husband loves her to pieces. I wouldn't discount him as a cat owner just b/c of that.

Good luck!
 
Top