A question for my single & childless brothers & sister

So today at work my boss asked me to come into work on Saturday. I said I can't, our shelter has it's bigest pet show of the season. He didn't come out and say anything, but it was obvious he felt that it was not a good reason not to be able to work. He has given me this reaction on other plans I have had (some not even related to the cats). Sometimes I feel like my plans & my life outside of work are looked down upon because I'm not married with children. No it is not the life he would live, but I like my life. My volunteer work with the shelter is important to me. I am just wondering if others feel like people look at them like their plans aren't that important because they don't involve a nucular family?

Originally Posted by Rang_27

I am just wondering if others feel like people look at them like their plans aren't that important because they don't involve a nucular family?

Click to expand...

Yes, at work and by other people. I was always the first person they called and really wasn't given any choice in coming in or not to cover someone. The very day I quit my boss was expecting me to drive nearly 40 miles to cover for people at another store. At least your boss isn't getting in your face and snapping at you.


I also don't get why people with kids act self important and try to act like they pity us because we don't have children.

I hate people like that. Why does having a family make them feel like they are so much better and more important? To me, my cats are all I need. They are my family. I could never work for someone who didn't understand that.

Not at all with my boss, he is very supportive of everything I do and is willing to let me have time off / change days whenever I want and with little notice.

My family on the other hand tend to get upset when I put the shelter or work before something they want to do

Your plans or priorities should not be considered any less important than anyone else's where you work. I've never wanted children. I've worked on Christmas morning so that a friend/co-worker could be at home with her children, but I certainly wouldn't have done it if she had the kind of attitude you're talking about.

As a general rule I try not to volunteer extra information. Less is more, a no can be an end to the sentence in some cases

Originally Posted by cococat

As a general rule I try not to volunteer extra information. Less is more, a no can be an end to the sentence in some cases

Click to expand...

If you are not scheduled to work that day, then it's voluntary and you don't need to provide an excuse for why you don't want to work.

I am single and child-free by choice. Yes, people I meet and some I work with either look down on me or give me that pity-look. At my age I could probably be a grandmother. I love my life now. I am not lonely. I am not sad. I am not invisible. I do the things in my life that I feel are important to me. Why do people think that if you are single with no children, that you don't have a life? My employer had the attitude for years that I should ALWAYS be available to work a shift that someone couldn't work cuz their child was sick. BUT when Bella is sick and I want to call off work that's not a good reason. Well, I had a little talk with him!! What is important to me isn't important to him. BUT IT IS STILL IMPORTANT!!! Just hold your head up and stick to your beliefs. The cats you care for are worth it. Don't ever doubt that, my friend.

I've made it clear to my bosses that the changes they've made have reduced my ability to volunteer at the shelter. They've kind of had the, "So what?" attitude. I point out that I often wear Toys R Us clothing at the shelter, giving them free PR points with the public.

I hear you loud and clear. In my other corporate life I was the only female for years that never had children and when 7 co-workers became pregnant the same year-who cares about the life of the childless women! Your life is important regardless of ones martial status and if youhave children or not. Most in society do not seem to understand but that is changing as more couples at least are chosing not to have children.
I say you can't miss what you've never had!
I don't think there is any need for apology for a work schedule. However most of my coworkers at that time in my life felt that their life was much more important because of their kids than mine was.
Years ago when I finally had my day in court over the death of Sheba I was not allowed to take personal time off but had to take it without pay or make the time up!! It was ok to take time off to register a child for school but not this-grr.......

Well my BF, Dana, and I live together but we do not have nor want children at all. We both work together and have the same boss, who is quite literally an insensitive idiot. (This same man put his cat down when he and his wife had a baby. Trust me, I didn't know until after it was already done.)

Anyway, a couple months back I had to call him and tell him that we were going to be late. One of my foster kittens had passed, and we had to bring him to the shelter to be creamated. I was literally crying on the phone, and he sighed, like it was such a big inconvenience, and wanted me to stay later to make up the time.

Originally Posted by cococat

As a general rule I try not to volunteer extra information. Less is more, a no can be an end to the sentence in some cases

Click to expand...

I usually just say that I have an appointment and let it go at that.

Originally Posted by Rang_27

Sometimes I feel like my plans & my life outside of work are looked down upon because I'm not married with children.

Click to expand...

Yes, that is very common. For some reason many people with kids think that they trump those who don't have kids. Just because some of us choose not to have kids doesn't mean we don't have lives that are just as important to us.

At my old job I got tired of women who had kids, even mid to late teen ones, saying that they can't do over time "because of the kids!" or that they can't work Christmas for the same reason.

I agree about it being none of their business why you can't. Alot of people don't care what is going on in your life they just want you to do what they ask. So, no should be enough. If they ask why say you have previously made arrangements that cannot be broken. They don't need to know what it is. If they ask what you can always say "I prefer not to be specific, it is personal"

I too have no kids but have not encountered any issue with getting time off I needed. I guess I should feel grateful for that after hearing about others troubles.

I hate it when people use their kids as an excuse to not do something. When my daughters lived with me I worked my holiday schedules around work. I worked every Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter and knew ahead of time to get a baby sitter and it was always family who in case of an emergency where able to take them to the Dr or ER and call me and let me know what was going on. I was always one to get called in to cover for people and pick up extra shifts even with my girls living with me. Now that they live with my mom when I worked I actually ended up running myself into the ground working so much. So for me its just not an excuse having kids to not work or do something.
I will add though that if something serious happened like I needed to take them to the ER (has happened when they both got pneumonia) and I have taken off before when Fatman needed to go to the ER vet. I ALWAYS got someone to cover my shift ahead of time before I called the boss and told them I wouldnt be coming in and so and so would be covering my shift for me. That way they werent inconvienanced in my needing off work and I wasnt getting in trouble for taking off.

Originally Posted by Misty8723

I usually just say that I have an appointment and let it go at that.

Click to expand...

I have encountered some of that as well. Also, when I state that I have no interest in having children, some do not believe me. I have no problem with kids, I love my niece and nephew but I want none of my own.

I´m happy with your participation!... nice replys!...

Yes!...I´m not single , but not childrens yet... and God know why...
Many of the words of you are the true, a years ago I use to work in a big CO where of course human resourses got all my file and knows my position,.....The firts person who was called for every event I WAS... and the reason "because surely he´s more availble..."... of course sometimes this represented more income but not always was fun and the worse USE to keep as a savior of the situation... I don´t thing this is the right way to made the stuffs....
The time of begin to say "I CAN´T" arrive and begin the time of ugly face... ...But is mandatory to put limits....
Glad that you vent this here...