OK, let me be clear: There is blame enough to go around to everyone on this deal.
And let me make a clear disclosure: I have been in the position of all 3 parties in the home buying equation. I have been a buyer/seller, a real estate agent, and I've had association with the start-up of a mortgage brokerage, in addition to carrying a note on a house I sold.
As a buyer, I made the effort to be fully informed. As a seller, I've tried to disclose everything a buyer needed to know to make an informed decision. As a real estate agent, I tried to put people in houses I knew they could afford and steered them away from those they couldn't, then made sure all the parties were fully informed. I don't like the mortgage brokerage business, and carrying a note drove me crazy.
There ARE reliefs for those who get caught up in the bad economy. The most common and thorough is called bankruptcy. Anything short of that leaves the consumer subject to deficiency judgments and other problems. It's not as serious as all that, and if it's done right, you might even be able to stay in the home.
I have sat in a mortgage company's office and listened to my clients lie to the officer, in spite of what I told them. And I've seen many mortgage officers gloss over the dangers of the ARM. I've seen my clients walk out of my office when I told them that they couldn't afford a house, and watched them buy it through another agent on a negative amortization ARM, knowing they were going to be in big trouble in 3 years.
I didn't get rich in real estate, at least partially because when I sold a property, it stayed sold, but I didn't write contracts I knew would make trouble for anyone in the deal. Remember, the real estate agent legally works for the seller, and you need to protect them from bad buyers and dead deals.
I always advised my clients to get their own lawyer and take them to the closing, so he/she could advise them about what they were signing. I've seen them make changes at the closing that saved the buyers immense grief later.
But, I have to say I have never seen a deal that I didn't think that the closing room was full of liars. The buyers rarely disclosed their full financial situation, always putting the best gloss on it all. The mortgage company always put the best spin on every charge and fee and never took the attitude that the economy could go bad and make an ARM a disaster. The closing agent always soft-pedaled the clauses that could cause the buyer trouble later, especially the remedies available to lienholders. The client's lawyer always threatened non-signing over some little item or another. The appraiser always came in with an appraisal high enough to support the mortgage the buyer wanted. The inspector always said that the house was sound. And the seller, present only in spirit and in signature, always said he was selling a great house at much less than it was worth.
And it is very true that not everyone should be a homeowner, just as not everyone should go to college. Renting has very real advantages, not the least of which is lower cost.
On our current house, we made the decision to eschew the ARM's and go for a 30-year fixed mortgage, and we paid an extra $2000 to get the interest rate down to 7.5%. When rates went down a few years later, we refinanced at 5.5% on a 15-year fixed loan. We now have almost 50% equity in the house, and it will be paid off by the time we retire. If I were a true shark (like my friend who started the mortgage brokerage), I'd be out buying rental homes. I could buy a lot of houses right now for 50% of their appraised value. But I refuse to expose myself to that financial risk. I just don't have the heart to be a landlord.
But I KNOW we have a number of people in our neighborhood who bought houses at the top of the market, figuring real estate always goes up, and betting that they would be getting more pay by the time the loan rate adjusted, or they could sell it for a profit and use that on another home. Had they asked me before they bought, I would have told them it was a fool's bet, and if they and the mortgage company made that bet, who was the bigger fool was purely a matter of discussion. But they didn't ask me.
However, I have no sympathy for my mortgage company (formerly CountryWide, now Bank of America), because I KNEW they were making loans that would never work out. And THEY knew it, too. They actually had a unit here in Dallas whose job was to get illegals approved, even though they had no previous credit, no social security number, no bank accounts, nothing. They HAD to do it in order to stay out of court over the Community Reinvestment Act, even knowing that those loans would go bad. Of course, they were betting that the houses anchoring the mortgages would actually have gone up in value by the time they had to be repossessed. Boo hoo for them.