Oh Creator Please help me... (long negative and not happy)

You actually don't have to read this, I'm having a horrible day, and I don't understand. I'm sorry, just bypass this and find a more positive thread. I just needed to get it out.

Be Safe.

I don't get me today, I can't stop crying. I feel aweful. Started out with my DH having some unhappiness with me (understandable). Then I asked my bro's fiance to check my parents animals cuz I knew DH was gunna be off late. She didn't and didn't let me know she hadn't. 1am DH drives half hour to check them, comes home (with recese's peanut butter cups for me that I don't diserve ) gets up early today this morning to check them, with little sleep and goes to work for a full shift (they will be busy it's cold out). I feel horrid. I was so upset about the babiez not being checked on, I had an aweful dream about my mom, who has been gone since 11 hours after the towers fell in '01 (from cancer), and in the dream I was so angry at her, I broke her belongings to get back at her. That's nothing like me at all. I am so frusterated with myself at this point.

I let my stepmom know my bad (i try to always be honest and upfront when I mess up) I let her know everything was fine and I will not do that again. She came back with " January 24 at 2:03pm
i'm not going to go into it right now because i am not happy with your lack of responsibility. you asked but she didn't say one way or the other if she could and it didn't matter as i asked you and you passed the buck not the thing to do" When his fiance said "okay, I will". I don't know where she got the idea that she never said one way or the other, I assume she called her on it, and she lied about it. Now I feel really krappy. I tried to own up to my mistake, and I get this in return, especially since I expressed my dissapointment in my asking for help. I told her next time I will walk all the way out there in cold weather to make sure they were okay.

I feel so dumb at this point, I can't stop crying, and I just think this has mountained from a molehill. I thought being upfront and honest with her was the right thing to do, I guess I should have kept it from her and basically LIED about it. I should have walked the half hour drive from my house to take care of the animals that way nobody would have been put out of their way. I messed up so bad, and I can't calm myself down, and refocus on something positive. I've tried leaving positive messages on others threads, and I keep swinging back to tears. I'm not the kind of person to shrug off responsibilty usually, I just didn't want Tonka waiting longer, wich he did anyway. I am so floored by her reaction, especially the "She never answered either way" part, wich she said she would do it, if she hadn't said one way or the other, I would have taken that as a NO and found an alternate solution.

I just don't get why I feel this way. Maybe I am stressed. maybe something is really bothering me and this is what I am upset over because what is bothering me I don't want to deal with. I feel at a loss and petty and over dramatic right now. I've stopped myself from posting my feelings a few times today, but I can't stop crying. I really dislike myself right now. That isn't me. I'm not like this. I even put not so happy mood up on my facebook and myspace, wich isn't like me. I am so negative right now it hurts

Oh Creator, please help me get myself under control. What did I do to feel this way?

I'm so sorry (No need to reply or read this, I just needed to get it out.)

((((hugs)))))

I hope this day will be over for you soon and tomorrow will be a much better day for you. We all get days like this, it seems absolutely nothing is going right. Try to get your mind off things that are bothering you, watch some TV or try reading a book or magazine, anything to take your mind off this day. Remember we all have days like this.

A big long bubble bath and LOTS of sleep!

We all have days like this. ...it also sounds like you're thinking about and missing your mum, which may be feeding into "the weepies."

I get days like that often, when I have no self respect, feel my life is a failure and I have no goals etc. It happens. I don't know how to tell you to feel better, because I sometimes find it hard too to snap out of it, but I find something I like doing and try to lose myself in it, get a cat on my lap and cuddle until there are lots of purrs, and put some stress busting soft music on and reflect on the good things in life, past and present. I hope you will soon get through it. And I do think you did the right thing by your MIL - lying always leads to even more confusion and recriminations and you would have felt even worse. But don't rely on other people in future to do your chores - I think that is a good idea!

I don't know what to say to help you feel better. I'm sorry you had such a crappy day and I hope that you'll be OK soon.


(((hugs)))

Originally Posted by jennyranson

But don't rely on other people in future to do your chores - I think that is a good idea!

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Just to clarify... it wasn't a CHORE exaclty. She went out of town, and told me I had to check on her animals. She never asked me or my DH, who is the one who would have to go out there anyway. I have a license, I don't have a car. I tried to get a ride out there, but everyone I called was busy at that time. Since my bro and fiance were so close, I figured they could do it. We drive a half hour from our house to get to her house. My bro and his fiance were only about 10 minutes away when she said she would do it.

DH gets mad at me when I 'volenteer' him for stuff like this, since I can't drive the car as I am not on his insurance. I've tried to tell him I drive carefully, but he doesn't want to take the chance (and I understand). My stepmom just expects us to jump and do what she wants (she's not a bad person nor demanding usually) when she wants without asking.

I did say okay when she told me she needed us to go out there because I feel obligated. I had no way of getting out there myself short of walking the half hour drive, in almost zero tempratures. I love the animals, but I don't see me walking that far to check on them, if it were summer time, that is a different story. She has neighbors who always check her animals, who don't even live a minutes drive away from her house.

I admit that I shouldn't have asked her for help, but she always wanted to be helpful, and do stuff for others. I thought she would when she agreed. Unfortunately I was wrong.

I told my stepmom she needed to find someone more dependable and responsible to care for her animals in the future, as I have no car, and no way to get out there. DH works long hours everyday driving all over town delivering pizzas. Once he is off work, he only wants to get out of his car and relax. He also wants the respect from her to ASK HIM if he can. He won't say no, he just wants to be ASKED rather then TOLD. I totally understand where he is coming from. She will be getting her neighbors to check her animals from now on 'due to (my) not driving, and (DH's) bad attitude" That's fine with me. They live less than a minutes drive away, and they go right by her house on their way home. Plus... they are her best friends, and who she always counted on in the past.

Thank you all for your very kind words. I appreciate the positivity and support. Unfortunately every time I read one yesterday I cried more. My bro's fiance came over brought me cookies and a card, and we talked. Come to find out what made me most mad was the one word answer I got when I asked if she had checked the dogs, and that was my bro.

I still feel like a piece of Krap, especially from my stepmom. I found out why she reacted so angrily to me. My bro's fiance called her and lied to her about the situation to take herself out of the picture, so when I admitted my bad to her, she was already pissed at me. That really got me, she does that all the time. When she gets into a disagreement with anyone, she calls their moms (if she knows them) and drags them into the arguement. I've seen her do it with my bro so many times, she is not adult enough, nor strong enough in her convictions to stand on her own two feet, so she goes to moms, and twists the situation to fit her, then the moms get involved and reprimand their kids. It's evil. I told her she was a child for doing that, and that it makes the relationships suffer between the kid and their mom. I told her that the problem between us stays between us, and never should she involve anyone else. I'm angry at her for that. That isn't the FIRST time she has done that to me, then came to me saying my stepmom agreed with her side. When I asked my stepmom about it, she told me what I had said (acording to his fiance) and it wasn't at all what I had said. I was pretty shocked. I told her what had happend, and there was a room full of witnesses to the situation. She then took no side, once she realized that his fiance had twisted everything to make her the victim. it's evil and rude. Things are okay between us, but the next time she does that, I will wash my hands of her for good. I don't feel the relationship between us could grow much more if she continues involving people who are not a part of the situation between us. She will grow up more.

again, thank you all. YOu are all very wonderful people and diserve nothing but positivity and good things in your lives.

Be safe.

As long as the owner of the car is insured, anyone, any licensed driver that is, can legally drive that car. You do not have to be on the insurance policy. I mean you can check on the laws in your state, but I really think it is allowed.

I drive an old lady around, using her car. Even if I didn't have my own car and my own insurance, she is fully protected under her insurance.

I understand the can't stop crying gig. You've worked yourself into a hysteria, is all.

You've been under tremendous stress, letting it all out, will be beneficial for you I think, and then you can pick yourself up and move on. The animals did not suffer in the long term. It happened, it's over, and if the step mother holds a grudge, that's her problem, not yours.

Hope you are feeling better today, hugs and head bumps from me and mine

xo

Originally Posted by otto

As long as the owner of the car is insured, anyone, any licensed driver that is, can legally drive that car. You do not have to be on the insurance policy. I mean you can check on the laws in your state, but I really think it is allowed.

I drive an old lady around, using her car. Even if I didn't have my own car and my own insurance, she is fully protected under her insurance.

I understand the can't stop crying gig. You've worked yourself into a hysteria, is all.

Getting it all out, will be beneficial for you I think, and then you can pick yourself up and move on. The animals did not suffer in the long term. It happened, it's over, and if the step mother holds a grudge, that's her problem, not yours.

Hope you are feeling better today, hugs and head bumps from me and mine

xo

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Thank you so much, you are absolutely right. I need not worry about if she holds a grudge. I was so wrapped up in myself, and anger, and negativity that I didn't see that. I give advice all the time, but I never think of the simplest of things when I am on the recieving end. I feel kind of dumb for how I felt yesterday. I'm on the verge of tears right now, but it's more letting out the remainder of yesterdays bad day then feeling bad today.

I feel much better today, thank you. I still feel like a piece of krap though. My bro's fiance was the bigger person yesterday for stopping by. I told her that and let her know my appreciation (even if I am still a bit angry at her) things are good between us.

As for the insurace, I understand that to be absolutely correct, but he has commercial insurance. I don't know how that differs from normal insurace, but I know it is different as he can't hold normal insurance while being a delivery driver. I will have to look into that. He wants to get me on the insurance, but he works all day everyday, and when we do get a chance to go down, something comes up. I will ask him about that. I think he has full coverage, I dont know if you can have just liability on commercial insurance or not. *shrugz*

Thank you so much

Be safe.

you may be right about the commercial insurance, does he own the vehicle or is it owned by his work? Worth looking into, anyway, being stranded is not a good feeling at any time.

xo

Originally Posted by otto

you may be right about the commercial insurance, does he own the vehicle or is it owned by his work? Worth looking into, anyway, being stranded is not a good feeling at any time.

xo

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Honestly, on the bright side, I am stranded IN TOWN now, not way out of town where my parents live. I have the ability to walk to my grandfather's house who lives just a few blocks (sheridan blocks are usually 3 to 4 houses on a street) away. My uncle also lives just 2 blocks away in the house my mom grew up in! I feel lucky to live in an area that my mom frequented. The thought of her walking by this house as a child warms my heart and makes me feel a little closer to her. So that is good There are a few businesses near her within walking distance.

DH got me a nice warm pair of really cute boots last night (he thought buying me something new would help me feel a bit better), so I can walk around in this weather without my feet getting all cold. I am very excited to go walk around in them to see how well they work!

He does own his car. I'm not on the title because when we got the car in Houma, Louisiana, I was working everyday, and couldn't get down there to get it in my name as well. We can get me on the title, but that is like getting to the insurance place! LoL.



Be safe.