Is it fair to regret my decision this soon? (long, sorry)

I apologize in advance if I ramble on. I have a lot of thoughts going on in my head and I'm trying to straighten them out. I'm really sorry if this gets long. I hope you can understand what's going on in my head. lol

I work in childcare. I have for 16 years. I don't mean to brag, but I am very good at what I do. I have worked mainly with infants during the years, minus the first couple years when I worked with toddlers and preschoolers. I just prefer that age group, specifically 6/9-18 month olds. I just love them and they give me so much joy in my life.

Through the years I have worked in quite a few different daycare centers. It's part of this field. A few years ago a lady hired me to start up an infant room in a new church based center. She didn't work there for very long before she moved on (I can't remember the exact circumstances behind her leaving) but I ended up working there for almost 3 years. I ended up leaving b/c they hired a director that I had worked with in the past and I did not agree with her ethics, among other things. I left back in mid 2006.

Back this past September I started working at a brand new state of the art childcare center that was owned and ran by a gal I went to high school with. I worked there from the very first day it opened. I LOVED working there. It was one of the few times I have actually been excited to go to work, I loved just about everyone I worked with, especially my main co-teacher that worked in the room with me. We just meshed and most of the time we didn't even need to speak to each other, we just did our thing and our room ran perfectly smooth. All of the parents loved us.

Out of nowhere I get a call from my past boss saying that she helped open a new church based center in the church she belongs to and was wondering if I would be willing to come be her lead infant teacher. It is kind of a Montessori and Waldorf combination based center. I've worked in both and love both of them. She offered me slightly more pay than what I was currently making at the time. I decided to at least go talk to her and check out the center.

I can't say exactly why I decided to take the job. Maybe I thought they needed me more than the current place did? I think mostly it was b/c finally I would be a "lead" teacher. Even though I have so much experience, b/c I don't have a degree most places wouldn't hire me as a lead teacher. I accepted the job and gave notice to my current employer on a Thursday (I posted my resignation letter here, if any of you recall). That weekend my current boss called me up and offered me quite a bit more pay plus a lead teacher position covering both infant rooms if I would stay. I told her I would think about it. On Monday I called up my "new" boss and told her the situation and she offered me the same amount. At this point I was very torn and didn't know what to do. Eventually I decided to go ahead and take the new position and told my current boss that although I appreciated her offer I would have to decline. I told her though, that if I hated my new job I would be running right back to her.

B/c of the way things worked out, I only needed to work through the rest of that week. Thursday my son woke up with a fever, so I had to call in that morning, the day before my last day. I, with all intentions, planned to go back for my final day. I took him to the doctor and had a note and everything. The day before (on Wed) my husband came to my work to help me take home most of my belongings b/c he was busy on Thursday and Friday. I needed him to help me b/c some of my things wouldn't fit in my Stratus but he has a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Somehow in the chaos that evening I forgot to take the garbage out with me when I closed. I didn't normally close, but we were low on babies so they just had me do it and had the normal closer not come in. I swear I didn't purposefully forget the trash. I'm a very routine oriented person, and taking out the trash wasn't normally in my routine so it just slipped my mind even though I'm not one to typically forget stuff like that.

Thursday afternoon I get an email from the assistant director telling me that since I had taken my belongings home, that my son was "sick", and the fact that I forgot to take the garbage out (which made the room smell HORRIBLY in the morning btw) she figured I had no intentions of even coming back, so they found someone to work for me on Friday and not to come in. She also told me that I would be notified when my final check came in and it would be held until I dropped off my tshirts and my key card. I was very hurt with the way I was treated, but figured I made the right decision after all.

FINALLY to my point...lol...I started my new job last Monday and I regret my decision. I love the babies, but I prefer the older babies and this is a room with all infants (6 weeks to 18 months) and I just don't like working with the little babies anymore. Plus, the two people I work with have been fighting me tooth and nail from my first day. I was told by both directors that a lot of change needs to be done, and I know that one of the teachers has been there before me (they just opened in Sept also, the other teacher started two days after me) so I have no intentions of changing everything all at once...but things like doing the laundry every night instead of only once a week or not letting the babies sit on the floor and scream until they are hysterical?? I've only tried to change a couple small things so far, and every time my coworkers have ran behind my back to the director and "tattled" on me. I know it takes time to get used to a place, but I almost feel like I don't want to go back. Plus, neither of my coworkers have any childcare experience, so it just makes me mad when people treat me this way when they have no idea. The directors tell me they have my back, and say they will eventually have to just be blunt and tell them that what I say goes, but so far they have yet to prove this.

My boss was SOOO excited to have me come work for her, and I know they need me, but I just don't feel it. I wish I could go back to my last job, but with the way they treated me when I left I'm afraid they wouldn't take me back.

Sorry this was so long. I guess I just needed to vent. I don't even know if there is any advise to be given, I just needed someone to listen. They sent me home today b/c we were low on babies and I've been on the verge of tears most of the day. *sigh*

Sweetie, I'm so sorry the way things have worked out. Do they have older children at the place working with your old boss? Is there any way to ask if you can work with them when the position becomes available? How many people work there? What happened when your co-workers "tattled" on you? Are you supposed to be their "boss?" Is there any way there can be some kind of staff meeting? Are you friendly enough with your old boss to sit down and talk about all of this openly? The ideas you're positing are good for the children, good for the business - why on earth people would have a problem with it is beyond me - other than the fact that they resent you for some reason I can't imagine.

I'd really see what steps can be taken to make the work environment a happier place before making any decisions.

But I don't think going back to your old job is realistic. I don't know that world, but even if you made up with the old place (which if you didn't reply to the e-mail to explain, it's certainly late to do that now), it's hard to go back.

Gary and I are partners. We made a mistake when we took a new job. We went back to the old one... and it just wasn't the same. You don't get treated with the same respect, some of the trust is gone... and it's just awkward.

If you can't figure a way to make it a happier work environment, then I'd consider just hunkering down for a while so you've got the "lead teacher" on the resume, look at this as a stepping stone - payment for a better job in the future - and then look for another work place.

I did reply to the email I received, and did not get a response. B/c I was set to start my new job that next week my husband took my shirts and my key card back to them promptly on Monday morning, and he said that the director that emailed me was pretty much shaking when she brought him the remainder of my belongings and didn't really speak to him. She just kept her head down. I never realized that taking my personal belongings home was a crime...maybe they were really mad at me for declining their offer and that was just an excuse to get rid of me. Who knows.

Originally Posted by LDG

Do they have older children at the place working with your old boss?

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Yes, our center takes children through kindergarten.

Originally Posted by LDG

Is there any way to ask if you can work with them when the position becomes available?

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I'm not a huge fan of toddlers or preschoolers (no offense to anyone that has children that age lol) I like the older babies that are in my room, they are really fun, and for a LONG time I used to love working with the smallest infants, but recently I have started to prefer the older ones (9-19 months old). I haven't worked in a combined infant room for a long time. Most centers split them up so they have two or more infant rooms based on age groups.

Originally Posted by LDG

How many people work there?

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I think there are about 15 of us, maybe?

Originally Posted by LDG

What happened when your co-workers "tattled" on you? Are you supposed to be their "boss?"

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I'm not technically their "boss", but I do have authority over them. My bosses have told me that my coworkers have to listen to what I say, though I don't think my coworkers have been informed of this so I have tried not to be too "bossy", if that makes sense.

Originally Posted by LDG

Is there any way there can be some kind of staff meeting? Are you friendly enough with your old boss to sit down and talk about all of this openly?

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I don't know. I have approached my boss with the fact that I don't seem to be being received very well by my new coworkers, and they just keep telling me that they will have to sit down with both of them and make sure they understand that what I say goes, but so far nothing seems to be take care of yet.

Originally Posted by LDG

The ideas you're positing are good for the children, good for the business - why on earth people would have a problem with it is beyond me - other than the fact that they resent you for some reason I can't imagine.

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I don't know if they resent me b/c I'm younger than they are (I am 32, one is about 50 and the other seems older than me but just slightly) and have more authority...or the fact that they both have degrees but not in this field. One was a nurse for 20 years, the other has a degree in special education with school age children. Still, neither has any experience in childcare with infants, AT ALL, which is why I have the position I do and not them.

My boss told me that this center was pretty much thrown together in just a month once she got the go ahead to open. I was hired to do some fine tuning of the infant department (if you can call it that) and bring it up to a higher level. When I was given a tour when I interviewed, they pointed out quite a few things they thought was wrong thus far (most problems I don't think they are even aware of) and I have just been trying to fix the surface problems and the safety issues, and will deal with the bigger problems once I build up some trust and prove to them that I'm NOT trying to replace them, just help them.

Originally Posted by LDG

But I don't think going back to your old job is realistic. I don't know that world, but even if you made up with the old place (which if you didn't reply to the e-mail to explain, it's certainly late to do that now), it's hard to go back.

Gary and I are partners. We made a mistake when we took a new job. We went back to the old one... and it just wasn't the same. You don't get treated with the same respect, some of the trust is gone... and it's just awkward.

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I know. *sigh* I guess I just wish I could go back to the way things were. Too bad we can't see into the future, huh?

Originally Posted by LDG

If you can't figure a way to make it a happier work environment, then I'd consider just hunkering down for a while so you've got the "lead teacher" on the resume, look at this as a stepping stone - payment for a better job in the future - and then look for another work place.

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Thanks for your advise! I really appreciate it!

I just wanted to let you know that when a job starts off tough it sometimes turns out to be the best job. What is right is right. You were hired to do a job (get the infant section up to snuff) and there is a reason why the other people weren't. There should be no reason why they don't listen to you, they are being extremely unprofessional. Perhaps there will need to be a "team" meeting soon with all present outlining what is expected of people. You are the "lead", they are to "follow". Bottom line. Don't like it....there is the door!

If you do your job and hang in there eventually people will leave or be asked to leave and you can hire responsible staff. I agree with it also being a great stepping stone for you. If you cut your teeth there and find after a year or so it hasn't changed you'll have the resume to move on and not lose money or the title.

I don't think you can go back to your old job. The fact they offered you the same title and money yet you still left tells them there was no other reason to leave except you didn't like the place. I understand why you left , it was something new and your friend offered you the job, but to them it probably looks like a slap in the face.