Afraid of Daddy

My cat Socks is a complete mommy's boy. If I am home alone, he doesn't leave my side. He will sleep on my computer desk while I am playing on the computer, he will take naps with me, and he will follow me around the house like a little puppy

However, when daddy comes home, Socks is no where to be found. He hides under the bed, or under the table, and will only come out to come and sit with me if he thinks daddy isn't looking

I think it is because Brandon is such a big guy, and he is 20 and just generally loud. Sometimes Brandon gets pouty because Socks won't even let him touch him. On occasion I will pick Sock up and put him in Brandon's lap. That is the only time he will sit with Brandon, but he will sit there and tolerate Brandon for quite a while.

I moved in here in about October. All three of the cats were born here, and they are really Brandon's. Socks has ALWAYS been skittish and never really liked men (I'm assuming, since it has always been men here, until now), but since I took him to the vet and have kept him inside, he has become a mommy's kitty.

Does anyone else have cats that prefer women to men? OR men to women? I think it's kind of sad that Socks won't let Brandon pet him and cuddle with him Socks is the most affectionate kitty we have, but only to me!

Two of mine don't discriminate. If you are capable of petting a cat then you are their very best friend, . Danny however is skittish around people in general. He only loves his mommy and daddy, everybody else is stranger danger, lol.

At the clinic where I work three of our female clinic cats are big fans of men. Bonnie, who is around 13, will not let anybody love on her except for one of our techs. In fact I have to chase her down if she needs medicine or anything. For an old lady she sure can run, . BUT, about half the men that come in the clinic she dubs hers and loves and rubs ALL over them. Nanette and GiGi are very friendly with all of our employees but never socialize with the clients except for the occasional male. They will both hop up into a man's lap and make biscuits and purr and love like they're the friendliest girls around.

Every human on earth besides me is stranger danger to Holland. Although when I take her to the vet she just kind of takes whatever they do to her. I guess she senses that she's got no choice. I stayed with my brother and SIL for a few months recently, and Holland got to the point where she recognized my brother and my nephew enough she wouldn't run from them as long as they didn't make any sudden movement toward her. My nephew (he's 3 1/2) just LOVED to give her treats .

Sidney is a lover to anyone and anything that comes into the house. Her roll is being a little mommy lol. But Pirate, on the other hand, is literally attached to me. He will put his arms around my neck/shoulders and nuzzle his face into my neck as if to say "please, don't let me go!" it's the cutest thing ever I think.

Then there's Mama Mia... She warms up to the wrong people... apparently she got a real good relationship with my ex-boyfriend, and that turned out HORRIBLY wrong so she isn't a good judge of who's a good character or not.

You reminded me of someone who used to be a regular here, but doesn't post very often anymore. She had the exact same problem - though not much later after posting that thread she lost her kitty to an unfortunate accident..

General recommendations. If your kitty isn't one to pee on dirty clothes, leave a couple of Brandon's shirts down. Maybe one near the food dish and another where Socks likes to sleep. Have him start giving Socks treats and make him do some of the feeding - particularly wet food.

Tell him he's got to settle down some. Shoes off in the house, don't stomp, plop on furniture, talk more softly, etc. No perusing him, no eye contact. When he talks to Socks make sure he knows he has to talk softly - if he can make his voice sound a little higher, it might even help since a lot of cat respond better to higher pitched (such as a woman's voice) voices.
The rest is just time. Cats need time to adjust.

My house cats are all fine with DH and BIL - though the kittens are still a bit skittish of the guys sometimes. I get all of my house cats as used to the opposite of everything I suggested as early as possible. They're used to noise, people yelling to each other from one side of the house to the other, me answering the cats themselves with a loud "WHAT!?" when they're being loud (which only makes a couple of them meow louder) and yelling to them (can't talk softly if you want them to hear you 4 rooms away ). So cats can adjust.

In my experience, some cats are definitely more skittish around men. Generally speaking of course, guys tend to be a little louder and have deeper voices and heavier steps. A good friend of mine had a cat who actually did like the man of the house, but said cat would run away when the guy came through the door wearing his work boots!

I also think some cats play favorites (i.e., maybe the cats don't see it exactly that way, but that's how it appears to us). One of my three is definitely a mama's boy. He stays close to me and frequently snubs my SO. When I'm out of town, however, they're the best of friends!

@ strange_wings - he pees on Brandon's clothes when they are on the floor, and he drags his socks and stuff into the litter box and uses them to cover up his business. He only does it with Brandon's socks and shirts. NOTHING of mine. I think he is sending Brandon a message!

Every time I clean the litter box, there is something of Brandon's mysteriously in it

Originally Posted by MaineCoons

@ strange_wings - he pees on Brandon's clothes when they are on the floor, and he drags his socks and stuff into the litter box and uses them to cover up his business. He only does it with Brandon's socks and shirts. NOTHING of mine. I think he is sending Brandon a message!

Every time I clean the litter box, there is something of Brandon's mysteriously in it

Click to expand...

Oh dear. The next time I hear any complaints about my cat, I'll tell this story!

Oh well, mark one thing out. But the rest of the suggestions should help. That and get a hamper with a lid. Clothes can't end up in the litter box if kitties can't get to them... though it would probably be easier to train your cat to stop than train a guy to pick things up.

I assume most of Brandon's friends are 20-year-old males as well. Having once been a goofy young male myself, I might suggest that before you arrived on the scene Socks and the other cats probably did NOT receive the level of kind attention that you now show them. That could be why Socks prefers your company!

Young males (especially in groups) tend to rough house more than most cats would like so the cats may have developed an aversion to anyone meeting that description!