Akward situation

catnurse22

TCS Member
Thread starter
Super Cat
Joined
Mar 9, 2009
Messages
1,081
Purraise
1
Location
Shreveport, LA
So I've had a very stressful week. School starts on Tuesday and it was a bunch of last minute juggling acts to get me in this semester (financial issues). So that was first.

Then, Josh went to Nashville on Tuesday to go to a doctor's appointment with his neurologist. I hate it when he goes out of town. I've been battling with lots of anxiety and emotional issues lately and when he's gone I have nothing to do but sit around and think. I really don't have many friends. My two best friends live at least two hours away from me and I really only get to talk to them on the phone except for the occasional visits. The only distraction I have is my job, which I love. I love the people, I love the work. So at least I have that.

Then, on Friday I had a big upset. I dated this guy for two years, Bryan. I was head over heels for him. We just clicked. I've never been more in sync with a person in my entire life. Even now with Josh. Which makes me feel awful, but it's the truth. The tail end of the relationship was awful. He became incredibly jealous and controlling. So we broke up after months of fights and trying to stick it out. I know it was the right thing to do, but to this day he still holds a large part of my heart. We broke up about three years ago. Well, we have only had sparse contact since then. But about a month ago he calls me and after ten minutes of small talk he tells me he's separated from his wife (he got married about a year after we broke up). Nice timing on his part, right? I haven't really talked to him since then, but he's been on my mind. But on Friday as I'm heading back to lunch after work, he's turning in to my apartment complex as I'm turning out. Turns out he now lives in my apartment complex. In the apartment right behind mine. He had no idea I lived here, just a big coincidence.

It's just had me so messed up. I've spent the last three years trying to avoid him. And now I'll see him all the time. Now I'm not stupid enough for anything to happen. I love Josh very much and he is an amazing guy. But I know if I was single, I would very stupidly fall back with Bryan. There is no question in my mind that's what would happen. It's so strange thinking he is literally only feet away from me. I can hear him in his bedroom from mine.

And to top it all off Josh still isn't home. He was planning on coming home yesterday but is having car trouble. And now he's sick. His entire family has been passing around a stomach virus since he's been up there. And he calls me at midnight last night saying he's now got it. So between him being sick and his car who knows when he'll get home. And I'm off today and all tomorrow. So I have nothing to do but sit around the house, thinking and stewing about all of this.

Anyway. Just needed to vent I suppose. Thanks if you read this whole thing,
.
 

pushylady

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jul 26, 2005
Messages
16,398
Purraise
451
Location
Canada
Are you sure it is just a coincindence that he lives there now? Really? Has he tried to contact you since you found that out, or is he going to respedt the fact that you're in a relationship now?
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

catnurse22

TCS Member
Thread starter
Super Cat
Joined
Mar 9, 2009
Messages
1,081
Purraise
1
Location
Shreveport, LA
Originally Posted by pushylady

Are you sure it is just a coincindence that he lives there now? Really? Has he tried to contact you since you found that out, or is he going to respedt the fact that you're in a relationship now?
Yep, I'm sure. He had no idea where I lived. When I texted him asking if he lived here he said he's about to start a new job and it's right around the corner from here. And he hasn't tried to contact me since then.
 

ruthyb

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 28, 2009
Messages
5,314
Purraise
16
Location
Derbyshire UK.
Oh no hun, what an awful situation to be in. I am sorry I have no advice apart from hold your head up high, you have a good relationship now and that Josh comes home soon. We are always here for you. xx
 

trouts mom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2006
Messages
23,949
Purraise
16
Location
Snowy Santa Land
You need to talk to Josh about it, get it out in the open. Communicate how you're feeling to him, then both of you can work through it. It is obviously not okay, and not fair to Josh if you know in your heart that you will end up back with the "controlling and jealous" guy.

I feel bad for Josh
 

ruthyb

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 28, 2009
Messages
5,314
Purraise
16
Location
Derbyshire UK.
Originally Posted by Trouts mom

You need to talk to Josh about it, get it out in the open. Communicate how you're feeling to him, then both of you can work through it. It is obviously not okay, and not fair to Josh if you know in your heart that you will end up back with the "controlling and jealous" guy.

I feel bad for Josh
"Now I'm not stupid enough for anything to happen. I love Josh very much and he is an amazing guy. But I know if I was single, I would very stupidly fall back with Bryan. There is no question in my mind that's what would happen"

She said that if she was single-not now she is in a relationship. x
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #7

catnurse22

TCS Member
Thread starter
Super Cat
Joined
Mar 9, 2009
Messages
1,081
Purraise
1
Location
Shreveport, LA
Originally Posted by Trouts mom

You need to talk to Josh about it, get it out in the open. Communicate how you're feeling to him, then both of you can work through it. It is obviously not okay, and not fair to Josh if you know in your heart that you will end up back with the "controlling and jealous" guy.

I feel bad for Josh
Josh knows exactly how I feel. I've been very open with him. He knows exactly what's going on. I have hidden nothing from him. Have you never had your heartbroken and held on to feelings for somebody, no matter how badly you wish you could hate that person? I am with Josh and I am happy with him. I'm just saying it's very unnerving for your first love to move in behind you, that's all.
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
Wow that is an awkward situation.
It's also very sad.

I was never into dating. The shortest relationship I had was 8 months - and that was in the 8th grade. I married my first husband knewing I didn't love him with all my heart and that some day it would end. Interestingly, when I was separated from him (after 6 years of marriage) and was only a couple of weeks into it, the love of my life called out of the blue, after 12 years.

Needless to say, I went through with the divorce and got remarried. Gary and I just celebrated our 16th anniversary. I just wasn't ready for him when we were first together - I had a lot of learning about relationships and life - and me - to do before I could be happy in marriage with him.

I don't know what lies in your future, but I'm sorry you're being confronted with this, like this.


 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
...Josh sounds like an amazing guy.
I'm so glad you can be open with him about this! That's got to make it at least a little bit easier.
 

fifi1puss

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 2, 2007
Messages
2,150
Purraise
13
i can't relate to how it must feel to have someone you have a special place in your heart for come back into your life in such an awkward way. I can however relate to how it feels to be home and have anxiety and feel like things are just getting weirder feeling and more unsettling. I've moved recently and unlike other moves i've made I just don't feel comfortable here and I don't know why. I've had probelms with two neighbors in under a week and have had to handle them on my own and I am not good with confrontation. I feel anxious and vunerable.

Anyway, time usually has a way of working things out. So I am just trying to hold on and not think too much. Trying to find distractions. Like you work is a huge help for me. But its sunday night and i've been off two days and my anxieties are rearing their ugly head. Hope time helps things get better for you. I am sure when Josh gets back it will help alot. Hang in there till then!

At least we have each other to chat with.
 
Top