Possibly lymphoma, don't know what to do!

My older cat Micky (14) has been losing weight. Last year he was about 19 lbs and he is down to 12. He was still eating but a lot has happened in the last year, so I attributed it to stress. When I brought in a new kitten that I rescued, he got sick with a cold. That was at the end of November. He has since gotten over the cold but continued to lose weight. He was still eating pretty well until about a month ago I noticed he was eating a lot less.

Since he kept losing weight, I took him to the vet. She took a blood test and it showed his white cell count was elevated, so she gave me antibiotics for him. He started really not eating and still losing weight so I brought him back yesterday and told her to get an x-ray. She showed me these 2 shadows on the x-ray which she said were masses, possibly tumors, in his chest area.

I felt like I was going to be sick right there in the room. I literally almost fainted. My cat Morgan died about 2 years ago from lymphoma. It started as a bump on her neck that got larger. Eventually it spread in her lungs. I didn't get her treatment because I didn't want her to suffer through that. Now I'm faced with that again and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.

So the vet said I need to take him to a specialist for a needle biopsy. I'm trying to get that scheduled as soon as possible. It's going to cost $400 but I feel like I need to know what we're dealing with, here.

I am trying really hard not to jump ahead of myself and start thinking about what if's for treatment, because that's a whole other can of worms that I can't deal with right now. Not emotionally nor financially. But I can't believe this is really happening and I can't believe I have to go through this all by myself.

I've been trying to find someone to take my kitten Midnight on a temporary basis. I noticed that he has been jumping all over Micky and just being a kitten, and Micky just doesn't feel well, so I need to give him some peace and quiet. Plus Midnight keeps eating all of Micky's food, so I have to lock him in the spare bedroom overnight to make sure Micky has access to his food without being bothered. (Update-I just talked to my friend who lives about 6 hours away. We agreed to meet halfway so I could give her Midnight for the time being. Thank God for friends who come through when we need them....).

Right now I don't know anything except that Micky has been the greatest companion I've ever had in my life. I adopted him from the Human Society when he was 10 weeks old and fit in the palm of my hand. He has stayed by my side through 6 failed relationships and he has brought me so much joy in my life that there were times when I felt like I was going to burst from all of the love I have for him. I feel like I'm dying myself at the thought of losing him. As I've been writing this post, I've been crying so hard that I can't even see the screen. I just don't know what I am going to do but I feel like my best friend in the entire world is dying and I can't handle it. I don't have any kids, I probably won't have any. I'm not married and I can't even find a decent boyfriend who isn't a complete tool. So I'm on my own. The cats are all I have.

I don't want him to be in pain. But I also don't want to traumatize him with treatments. He gets so very agitated at the vets', they have to muzzle him just to do an exam. I know he will be very upset when I take him for the test. But I feel that I need to know what's going on. I guess I have to keep telling myself to take one step at a time. But it's so hard knowing that pretty soon I'm going to have to make one of the hardest decisions in my life. How do I decide? I just can't do this. I feel like I'm going to completely lose my mind.

My heart goes out to you. I lost my cat-of-a-lifetime in September to lymphoma and heart disease. You've already been through it, so you know.... But my experience taught me a couple of things I'd like to share with you: First, only do what's best for the cat. Try to ignore your own feelings and focus on the cat's situation and you will make the right decisions. It sounds like you want to spare your cat pain, and that is the correct, unselfish instinct. While you can try treatment, you must tread carefully so that the cat's quality of life remains good throughout. When life becomes a burden, you have to be brave, and stop.

Sometimes it's hard to know what the best thing is. In our case, our vet told us that our cat was a good candidate for chemo, and that it could cause a remission where she'd be fine for up to 2 years. Unfortunately, within a month she developed heart failure, and then began having seizures, so the best thing for her was a peaceful ending. But some cats do well on steroids for awhile, and some cats do very well on chemo. The trick is to try to figure out how your cat is feeling through the process. If the cat doesn't handle it well, you have to make the tough choice.

Ask yourself what Micky enjoyed most when he was healthy, and make sure that he is still able to enjoy at least some of the main things on that list throughout any treatment. When the list gets too short, it's time for some serious thinking.

And try not to break down around him. Cats pick up on our emotions. Be strong in his presence, try to be calm, positive, and compassionate. Remember that cats fear suffering but they don't fear death. I think they understand more about life and death than we do. They know when they are ready. Look for signs.

I was absolutely flattened after we put Bunnelina to sleep and I thought my pain and sense of loss would never end. But here's my second discovery: while I continue to miss Bunnelina, I realized that there are other cats out there who need and want my love, and who are awesome and unique in their own ways. Part of mourning is missing everything about your lost cat, but part of it is having a heart full of love and a desire to give care and afffection — but no cat to share it with. (Having multiple cats somehow doesn't fill the void, it takes a new cat or cats for me to get over my grief, I've found.)

You WILL survive losing Micky when the time comes (and I hope it's a long time from now). It's natural to grieve and feel devastated, but you can surprise yourself if you will open yourself to the possibility of loving again. Then the love you feel for him will go on and you can keep Micky in your heart while you love a new cat.

I hope this helps you, and eases your emotional pain a little. It's a hard topic and you were brave to write about it. I will hope for good news for you and for Micky. I'm so sorry you are going through this. But be strong, you have everything you need to make the right decisions and get through this: a good heart, a strong desire to do what's right, and a great deal of love for your cat.

PS: I should explain how I survived. After losing Bunnelina, I decided I needed to "distract" myself from missing her. I decided to adopt a feral kitten. I didn't expect to form a similarly deep, amazing relationship with this kitten, but I felt it would be a kind thing to do. I had all these new cat-nursing and caring skills from Bunny's illness, and a desire to love another cat. And it was all going to waste. (I do have two more adult cats, and I love them madly, but they just couldn't fill the hole in my heart).

So, within a month of losing Bunny, I adopted two feral kittens. I chose them VERY carefully. I looked at their expressions, I looked them in the eye, I watched them closely when I met them. And I was rewarded: I wound up falling madly in love with both of them. They are both extraordinary. I can't imagine being without them, after just a few months. It's not the same as having my dear Bunnelina, but it's wonderful, and it's enough. I tell them all about Bunny. They listen.

I don't have any advice, just vibes and prayers for you and Mickey. My thoughts are with you, I know this is so very difficult...

Oh, Ruby! My heart breaks for you!!! I know exactly what you are going through as I have been there more times than I thought possible. Each time I have had to put a cat down, a part of me died with them. For me, it has not been possible to fully recover. As I get older, it's harder and harder to "survive." I currently have 8 cats, but one of them ~ Cactus Jack is my heart and soul. I feel that when his time comes, I'm going to go with him ~ whether by my own hand or simply by dying from a fully broken heart.

But let me tell you a story about another of my babies, Schatzi. When she was about two years old, I moved into a place that didn't allow cats. I snuck my four cats in anyway. After awhile, I got busted by the landlord, and I told them I was just baby sitting a friend's cats, and I took them over to my mom's house until the heat was off. During that time, Schatzi got so depressed over not being with me that she starting losing a tremendous amount of weight. She went from 12 pounds to 2 pounds in less than three weeks. We rushed her to the vet. He said she was in liver failure and he put her on IV's and medicine. She just kept getting worse. Finally, the vet told me it was time to put her down. I went in to the vet's thinking I was going to lose her. When the vet brought her into me, she was bleeding from her gums, her fur was greasy and falling out, and she looked dead already. But when he put her on the table, which I had jumped up on and was sitting on cross-legged, that little cat crawled into my lap and started to purr. I looked at the vet, and said, "I'm taking her home." He looked at me like I was insane, but I knew in my heart that it just wasn't her time. I took her home, but she would not eat. I had to give her liquid medicine with a dropper, but she would clamp down her jaws and it just leaked out her mouth, so I knew she wasn't getting enough of it. My mom, who is a nurse, suggested I mix the medicine with baby food to make it thick enough that she'd have to swallow it and it couldn't leak out. So, that's what I did. She needed 24/7 care, so I quit my job so I could devote all my time to her. My parents took over paying my bills. I wish you had the same support, and I know you don't, so I'm not sure how to fix that problem. BUT, after force feeding her the baby food (you have to make sure it's one of the meat versions with NO ONIONS as a spice, as onions are toxic to cats) for a few weeks, she started to gain weight and look better. One day, she started eating all on her own. In a month, she looked perfect. I brought her back to the vet and he accused me ~ sort of jokingly, sort of seriously ~ of getting another cat who looked like her and trying to fool him.

For the next twelve years, I kept Schatzi with me through several boyfriends and numerous moves. She was my best friend, and we lived together just the two of us.

One day, I noticed she had some dark markings under her chin that I had never seen before. I took her right into the vet. He performed some tests and took X-rays. When I came to pick her up, the vet said, "The good news is that the dark markings are just a little kitty acne. The bad news is that the X-rays show two very large tumors on her lungs. Cancer. She needs chemo." Well, my dad treated cancer patients for a living. After 30 years of that, my dad was the first one to say that if he ever got cancer, to NOT EVER give him chemo and just make him comfortable and let him die ~ because he thought chemo was worse than cancer itself. Of course, everyone says that cats handle chemo better than humans. Unfortunately, I don't know that for a fact, so I said no to the chemo. Of course, the vet looked at me like I was insane ~ again. Same vet as 12 years before. He said, "She won't last two months without chemo." I said, "Boy, deja vu, huh? I'm taking her home."

Now, while my mom and dad were both in the medical field, we had come to believe in natural therapies, i.e., "Eastern medicine" as opposed to traditional "Western medicine." In my dad's own research of natural remedies, he had discovered that Shark's cartilage as a remedy for cancer had proven very successful in countries that don't use chemo as their first choice of treatment. We had no idea, however, how it would work with cats, and even if it did, what the dose should be.

I had nothing to lose, so I went to the health food store and picked up a large bottle of shark's cartilage in capsules. At first, I tried sprinkling it on Schatizi's food, but she didn't like it and wouldn't eat it. So, back I went to the baby food. I would mix three capsules of the Shark's cartilage in a jar of baby food, then stuff the baby food into a syringe (it was too thick to suck it up in the syringe, so you have to stuff it in the back end of the syringe with a spoon) and I would do this six times in a 24 hour period. So, that would be 18 capsules a day in sixjars of baby food.

Research has shown that people and animals do better with cancer if they have LOTS of HEALTHY calories a day. One jar of baby food is 50 calories X six times a day is what I fed her.

After a couple of months, I brought her back to the vet. She had never shown any outward signs of distress and I had only accidentally found out about the tumor because of the acne. So, after the two months went by and she still appeared to be okay, there was no way for me to know if the Shark's cartilage was helping or not. What I did know is that she had certainly made it past the vet's original time frame of two months.

I brought her in and he shot X-rays again. The tumors were smaller, and not by a little, but by a fair amount. The vet shook his head. I told him what I was doing and he just got that look again. This was about 15 years ago. Today, many vets are aware of Shark's cartilage as a treatment. Of course, they will try to steer you towards the chemo instead because it's about a bezillion times more expensive and they don't make any money from the Shark's cartilage.

Two years went by, and I was STILL feeding her the baby food and Shark's cartilage. I would take her in every six months or so for tests. The tumors were gone. Maybe there was something there microscopically, but to the naked eye, they were GONE.

Shortly after the third year of treating her with the Shark's cartilage, I noticed she wasn't greeting me at the door when I came home as much. She had started to purposely not move around much. Unfortunately, I didn't think too much of it, until one day I saw the she appeared to be breathing a little heavy. Back to the vet we went. As I said, the tumors were gone, but she had developed fluid around her heart.

For months, I tried every treatment I could find. Again, she lasted a lot longer than the vet said she would with the fluid/heart problem, but this time I had not caught it soon enough. I pulled her back from the brink of death twice in her 17 years, but this time I was too late. When she started panting and breathing through her mouth, which is ALWAYS a very bad sign in cats, I knew it was time.

I can tell you that it nearly killed me. But you know all about this part, so I won't elaborate.

What I am suggesting is that you try the Shark's cartilage. It's expensive, but not nearly as expensive as anything the vet can offer you. It's a hassle, it's time consuming, and generally you cat will probably hate being force fed. But if it helps him, and he starts to gain weight and feel better, isn't that worth it?

I fed Schatzi every four hours like clockwork. Fortunately, my job is such that I set my own hours. Again, I know you probably don't have this luxury, but some treatment is better than none, and if you can only feed Mickey three times a day, then so be it.

I can't tell you that the dose I gave Shatzi is the "correct" dose, since it was all experimental. But it obviously appeared to be enough. There were no side effects, none that were noticeable anyway. After awhile, she got used to the feedings, so it wasn't such a chore. It became our way of life.

Schatzi was younger than Mickey is now, and I don't know if that will make a difference, but as my current vet says, "Old age is not a disease." Also, since I never did a biopsy, I'm not sure what type of cancer she had. Different cancers react differently to treatments. From my dad, I'm pretty sure it was a sarcoma, which is very different from a lymphoma. But in the research that I did then and over the years, it appears that Shark's cartilage helps in most all kinds of cancers, better in some than others, but still ...

The only other problem I can see is that research also shows that the Shark's cartilage works best when the cancer is young. But this is true of all cancers and any treatments, so it's possible that it's too late for him, but honestly, what is there to lose? Even if it doesn't cure him, if it makes him feel better for however long, that's better than him just getting worse, right?

I wish I could offer you more ~ like a sure fire cure and cat immortality, but I hope and pray that if you try it, it will work for you, too.

I have two big bottles of Shark's cartilage because I was babysitting a friend's cat a few months ago who actually likes the stuff, so my friend feeds it to her kind of as a treat and maybe as preventative medicine. When he went on vacation for two months, he left her with me and I fed it to her. I bought more than I thought I would need, though, and I would be happy to mail it to you ~ along with syringes, if you'd like to try it and can't afford to buy it right now. I have one full unopened bottle, and one 3/4 full bottle.

I'm going to wing it and give you my email address (if they let me). If you are interested, let me know we can go from there.

I'm at:

[email protected]

... I don't know if there really are words that exist to comfort you, so all I can say is you and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that everyone on this site can throw some positive energy into the Universe for you.

Good luck, and let me know if you want the Shark's cartilage. I will even overnight it to you so you get it quickly, because time really is of the essence with cancer ...

Best wishes,
E

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through now. It's devastating to face, but don't give up hope yet. See what the specialists say.

I'm glad you have a friend to foster Midnight while you are caring for Micky.

Keep us posted.

Thanks to you all for your replies. It really helps a lot to be able to come here and talk about this stuff with people who understand. I've been accused by some of being a "crazy cat lady" even though I only have 2 cats. But I can't help it, when I bring a cat into my home and into my life, they are my family and they are my most beloved treasures. That's what makes all of this so damn hard!

I posted in another thread about lymphoma that I've made my decision about what to do. Cactus Jack, I'm going to take you up on your offer. Keep an eye on your email for a message from me. I've decided not to haul Micky around to more doctors to get more tests done. Mostly because of how upset he gets when going to the doctor. He gets so upset that he practically makes himself sick. Once he was hissing and spitting so much that he started dry heaving and the vet almost had to sedate him just to do a standard yearly exam. Anyway, I'm sure he's done with doctors and I don't want to subject him to that anymore.

I know that chemo is hell for human beings, I've seen what it can do to people. I don't want to put him through that. One of my friends told me that even if we started chemo, there was no way they could guarantee that it would work or that it wouldn't come back. I actually found a website where people posted their experiences of their pets on chemo. One of the things they posted was about what their cats and dogs died from and 98% of them said it was ultimately cancer that did them in. So, even with chemo, these pets died of cancer. I don't want to prolong the inevitable when I know that the treatment is worse than the cure.

I cried a lot this weekend. But I also spent a lot of time with him and talked to him. Every time he came to me for some love, I'd stop what I was doing and pet him for as long as possible. I am in graduate school right now and working full time, and I had a 7 page paper due last night by midnight. I must have put down that paper at least 10 times over the weekend to stop and pet him because I just wanted him to know how much I love him. I feel like it's all I can do.

The good news is that the appetite stimulant pills that the vet gave me seem to be working ok. Whenever I give them to him, about a half hour later, I see him walking over to the dish and eating a few bites. Not a lot, but at least it's something. And I see him drinking water, too, so that's a relief.

Thanks so much to you all for your kind words. It really makes me feel so much better to have people who understand to talk to about this stuff!

Nobody could give Micky the love and care he needs better than you. You love him and will do what's right for him to be comfortable and happy. This special bonding time you are having with him will always be with you. Please keep us updated on how he's doing.

xo

Originally Posted by Ruby35

My older cat Micky (14) has been losing weight. Last year he was about 19 lbs and he is down to 12. He was still eating but a lot has happened in the last year, so I attributed it to stress. When I brought in a new kitten that I rescued, he got sick with a cold. That was at the end of November. He has since gotten over the cold but continued to lose weight. He was still eating pretty well until about a month ago I noticed he was eating a lot less.

Since he kept losing weight, I took him to the vet. She took a blood test and it showed his white cell count was elevated, so she gave me antibiotics for him. He started really not eating and still losing weight so I brought him back yesterday and told her to get an x-ray. She showed me these 2 shadows on the x-ray which she said were masses, possibly tumors, in his chest area.

I felt like I was going to be sick right there in the room. I literally almost fainted. My cat Morgan died about 2 years ago from lymphoma. It started as a bump on her neck that got larger. Eventually it spread in her lungs. I didn't get her treatment because I didn't want her to suffer through that. Now I'm faced with that again and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.

So the vet said I need to take him to a specialist for a needle biopsy. I'm trying to get that scheduled as soon as possible. It's going to cost $400 but I feel like I need to know what we're dealing with, here.

I am trying really hard not to jump ahead of myself and start thinking about what if's for treatment, because that's a whole other can of worms that I can't deal with right now. Not emotionally nor financially. But I can't believe this is really happening and I can't believe I have to go through this all by myself.

I've been trying to find someone to take my kitten Midnight on a temporary basis. I noticed that he has been jumping all over Micky and just being a kitten, and Micky just doesn't feel well, so I need to give him some peace and quiet. Plus Midnight keeps eating all of Micky's food, so I have to lock him in the spare bedroom overnight to make sure Micky has access to his food without being bothered. (Update-I just talked to my friend who lives about 6 hours away. We agreed to meet halfway so I could give her Midnight for the time being. Thank God for friends who come through when we need them....).

Right now I don't know anything except that Micky has been the greatest companion I've ever had in my life. I adopted him from the Human Society when he was 10 weeks old and fit in the palm of my hand. He has stayed by my side through 6 failed relationships and he has brought me so much joy in my life that there were times when I felt like I was going to burst from all of the love I have for him. I feel like I'm dying myself at the thought of losing him. As I've been writing this post, I've been crying so hard that I can't even see the screen. I just don't know what I am going to do but I feel like my best friend in the entire world is dying and I can't handle it. I don't have any kids, I probably won't have any. I'm not married and I can't even find a decent boyfriend who isn't a complete tool. So I'm on my own. The cats are all I have.

I don't want him to be in pain. But I also don't want to traumatize him with treatments. He gets so very agitated at the vets', they have to muzzle him just to do an exam. I know he will be very upset when I take him for the test. But I feel that I need to know what's going on. I guess I have to keep telling myself to take one step at a time. But it's so hard knowing that pretty soon I'm going to have to make one of the hardest decisions in my life. How do I decide? I just can't do this. I feel like I'm going to completely lose my mind.

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I am so sorry to read your post, Ruby -- and from one who has been there, I empathize very much with you. It is good that little Midnight has a loving foster for this time, so that the stress on Micky can be minimized (and so Midnight won't be traumatized, either).

Everyone has to make his or her own decisions for their loved ones, of course. Their being in our care makes it all the tougher when it's such a serious situation. In our case, after having an operation, our girl came home for a time, but of course, with lymphoma, it was only a short reprieve. When she became very ill again, she went back to the hospital for a few days' stay in intensive care, with round-the-clock observation. The doctor told me he did not advocate prolonging her being here at that point; I chose to bring her home to be surrounded by her loving family and in more comfort than she would have been in at the hospital. She passed at home shortly thereafter. I do not regret my decision. But you have to do what you intuition, your heart, and your spirituality tell you to do. I hope you believe and know that Micky loves you and that he will be with you always; and that you will be reunited completely one day. May this be some comfort to you in the time to come; for now, if you are able to enjoy what time you have left, cherish it, and Micky.

I so understand your deep love for your baby. I am also alone, with no family except my Bella. I just want to give you my sincere wish that the outcome is what is best for your baby.Sometimes prolonging a life can leave us with unbearable guilt in the end. I did want to suggest that if the vet visits are traumatic for him there are vets who will make house calls. In my area they are not that expensive. I had a vet come to my apartment to ease one of my babies into her next life.It was all very peaceful and private. Please keep us all posted.