Urgent What to do? Foster decision.

We may have found a home for the two 4 year old sister cats, one of which I've been fostering. The other is being fostered by my friend. At this point, of course! I'm very attached to her and partly want to keep her with me but also feel like the right thing to do is to reunite her with her sis. (Which I don't have the money or space to do here.) My heart is breaking at the thought of giving her up, so could anyone give me their opinion on if that's the right thing to do? I would take her back in a heartbeat if the new adoption didn't work out.

I hate this part of fostering. The two other times I did it (one kitten, one puppy), they were only with me a week and I was a sobbing mess at the parting.

I've grown accustomed to her face.

If she has a chance to get adopted with her sister, and you feel that is better for her - then I think it's best to let her go, as hard as it is.

Part of the fosterers burden is you must leave them when they are ready.

If by no other reason, so good fosterers dont grows on trees, and if they themselves adopt most of the fosterlings, soon they cant foster any more. They become cat owners, not longer being fosterers. Pity on such useful people...

And if it goes totally wrong - they may even end as hoarderers.

So, although it is a difficult decision for the heart, it is really an easy decision.


Although there may be an another problem. As the sisters were fostered at two different places - as they were, it is not at all sure they will be pals directly when reunited. The probability is big the new owners must work on to accustom them to each other. Almost as two foreign cats.

It may, and probably will -- go easier and faster, but they must be prepared fo doing quite a lot of time and work into this.

So it is.

Bless you for your work, AND your sacrifice of giving away the best you did achieved and do have!


Good luck!

The sisters will have been parted just under a month if this adoption goes through. Would they forget each other in such a short time?

Originally Posted by Brokenheart

The sisters will have been parted just under a month if this adoption goes through. Would they forget each other in such a short time?

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They likely will smell different, so hiss/swat each other at first - think of it like when you have one cat come back from the vet & the resident kitty doesn't like them.

Oh man do I ever know what you're talking about. I have seven foster cats... I really took on too much... and through some issues and upheavals... I have had them for MONTHS.

I am so very attached to them... and vice versa... It kills me to think of them someplace else.... and I worry will that new adopter take good care, will they be alright, will they be sad and scared.... ?????

As hard as it is sometimes you need to let go. I have never fostered, I recently rehomed Mama cat. She was semi feral. I tamed her, got her spayed. She lived in my home for 18 months, until I finally found a good home for her. I miss her terribly. She didn't get along with the other kitties. She had to live in the basement alone. It was best for her to have a home where she was the only kitty. With a family that understood her issues.

As hard as it may be to let them go, please understand that they will be happy somewhere else and will be taken good care of.

We need you to keep fostering, and you can't do it if you just keep the cats.

Thank you for your work

I only foster very rarely, as I live in a very tiny apartment (less than 300 square feet) so too many strange cats coming in too often would cause too much upheaval for my two cats. This was an emergency situation so I said I'd do it.

I guess I'll see how it plays out. If that woman wants to adopt her and her sister, I guess I'll let her go even though it will be very hard. If not, I think I will keep her, as I don't want her to go through anymore upheaval. (This will be about the 5th time she's switched owners.) I'm hoping that being reunited with her sis will lessen some of the trauma of moving again.

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses.