Still disturbed about Fuzzy's death

For those who may not remember, I euthanized my beloved Fuzzy about two months ago. He had developed sudden heart and kidney failure and I only had about 3 days to process what was going on. I feel that I made the right decision in euthanizing him and I'm at peace with that decision.

My problem is that I am not at peace with all of things that happened between his annual exam in June until his death in November. For the first few weeks after his death I was obsessed with researching his illnesses and the results of his blood work and ultrasound. Then the holidays came and I was so busy that I didn't have time to think about what happened. But now that the holidays are over I've started thinking about it again, I can't help it.

It's been my opinion since two days before he died that the two primary vets screwed up with his care over the years. Part of this was pretty much confirmed by something the internal medicine vet said to me. I went back through my own records that I've kept since June and everything points to a series of screwups with the two primary vets, particularly with Dr. C (the one I really like). I collected all of Fuzzy's medical records I could get my hands on and with tons of research, it does look like Dr. C messed up. There were two to three things he did that I believe caused the heart and kidney failure. The thing that I believe caused the kidney failure was something I never agreed with. He assured me it would be ok and I trusted him even though I had serious doubts. As it turns out, what I thought would happen (the formation of additional urinary stones and kidney failure), did happen.

Somehow I am only mildy angered at Dr. C. If it had been any of the other vets there that did this, I would be so mad that I would make it a point to ruin them. I'd file charges with the state veterinary board and make a website explaining how horrible a vet they are. Yet, I can't do that to Dr. C. I don't know why. I think it's because I know he's a good person. He's one of those people that are so good hearted that you're lucky to find someone like that in your lifetime.

I'm not really 100% sure Dr. C screwed up and it's hard getting answers anywhere. I'm not even 100% sure what actually caused the heart and kidney failure. I feel like I will never be at peace until I get answers. Of course, since a necropsy was never done we will never be 100% sure as to what really happened. I would like to ask Dr. C about these things, but I'm not sure I should. I feel like he and the rest of the staff would think I'm an obsessive, crazy cat owner. I'm sure most people would not bother asking.

What's worse is that even though I now believe Dr. C is not a good vet, I just can't stop going to him. I don't want to take my cats to someone else. My feelings are that even though he might not be very knowledgeable, at least I can trust that he would never intentionally hurt my cats. He's willing to go the extra mile for me and my cats which is something no other vet has been willing to do. He also doesn't do this for everyone, apparently I'm one of the lucky few. He is also the only vet I've found who will gladly take the time to answer my questions and concerns. He genuinely cares and that's something I have never really found in any other vet. Heck, that's a quality that's hard to find in any person. I figure that as long as I stay educated about my cats' illnesses, I can make sure that he doesn't screwup again.

I've certainly had other cats that have died over the years. In some of those cases, the vets (at a different clinic) screwed up but I felt like it was meant to be even though it angered me. But this time, I feel that it wasn't meant to be. I don't believe it was Fuzzy's time to go. With the other cats that died, there were always signs (like omens) indicating that their death was meant to be. I always had an overall feeling that their deaths were meant to be. But that's just not the case with Fuzzy. Something feels very off, and I don't consider myself a religious or spiritual person.

I've dealt with the fact that Fuzzy is gone and isn't coming back. It's upsetting but I'm mostly at peace with it. I'm certainly at peace with my decision to euthanize him. I just can't stop thinking about everything else that happened, it constantly bothers me. It shouldn't have happened. I know he would've developed CRF at some point, but it shouldn't have happened for a long time. Does anyone have any advice as to what I should do? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation or felt like this? This is definitely a first for me.

The bottom line, to me at least, is that it sounds as if you feel that Dr. C is the best vet for you. Maybe he isn't the best doctor, but it sounds as if he is someone you've trusted until now.

This reminded me of a situation I went thru a couple of years ago. I love our vet, Dr. K, and I firmly believe that he does what he thinks is best for his patients and their owners. In Oct.05 we had to have our 21 y/o Lucy pts; Nov. 06 we lost our 6 y/o Belle to CRF; Feb. 07 we lost our 7 y/o Bob to liver disease. In July 07 I took our 17 y/o Sophie in for routine bloodwork because she had hyperthyroid. The results came back and I was concerned about her WBC--way high. I took Sophie back for another blood draw. Dr. K told me there was apparently a screw-up at the lab and that her numbers were fine. Two months later Sophie had to be pts---advanced cancer.

I am convinced Dr. K knew Sophie had cancer after the first set of bloodwork. I'm also convinced that he didn't tell me because he knew how much I'd been thru in the previous year and a half. I think he wanted to let me enjoy that time with Sophie without obsessing over the fact that I was going to lose her soon. I'm sure he felt that at age 17, there wasn't much to be done for Sophie so why put her thru it?

On the other hand, the vet we used before Dr. K made a decision concerning the treatment of my beloved Sheltie Daisy that I could never forgive him for. He was a vet I trusted and would have recommended to anyone. I took Daisy to him when I found a pea-size lump on her jaw. He assured me it was just a bad tooth and to just keep an eye on it. I took Daisy back a couple of months later, again told it wasn't anything to worry about. Her breath was beginning to become horrible; the vet recommended doggie-mouthwash. Took Daisy back again and told him to take out the bad tooth. She was 10 y/o and I assumed she still had a few good years ahead of her; she needed that tooth gone. When I left her at the vet's that day, I had a sickening feeling that I'd never see her again. The vet called an hour later, told me Daisy had cancer that had eaten thru her jaw bone and I needed to give him the ok to have her pts. He gave her maybe a month otherwise, and she'd be in terrible pain. I gave him the ok. When I went to pick her up to bring her home for burial, the vet said, " I knew it was cancer months ago, but I couldn't see putting a lot of money into that old a dog." I don't know how I kept from scratching his eyes out. I would have done anything for Daisy, and he never gave me the opportunity. He never got the chance to treat (or not treat) another one of my babies.

I guess the point I'm getting to is this---vets are just people with a degree. In the end, they have to make decisions, sometimes good ones, sometimes not so good ones. If you're comfortable with Dr. C , feel that he genuinely cares about your fur-kids well being, and don't hold him responsible for Fuzzy's illness, then IMO he's the vet for you. If you feel he totally screwed-up and is responsible for Fuzzy's illness you have to find another vet. You have to be able to trust the person caring for your fur-kids and know that they're doing the best they possibly can.

I wish I had better advice; sometimes it just helps to get another person's opinion.

Originally Posted by libby74

...; sometimes it just helps to get another person's opinion.

Click to expand...

Unfortunately this is the way that sometimes you can help to others with something that maybe never to be expose if you don´t talk about...


so sorry because you´re not in peace....


What ever are your believes, please try to talk with Lord... I know he´s listening you... furthermore, Fuzzy is with him right now waiting for you someday!

with my bes intentions,...

However hard it might be, it's not healthy to obsess about things. Especially things that cannot be changed or explained.

I would advise you to try and let it go. Replace those thoughts with the good memories you have with Fuzzy. I know easier said than done, but this is not good for you to be always thinking about.

Good luck

I know how you feel. The one pet I've had that died was my hamster, and she meant a lot to me, I didn't have a cat or any other pets then, and I know the vet could have done something to save her or at the least she could have dome something to find out what's wrong with her. While my hamster was bleeding severely she was prescribed baytril and the vet said she was looking good, hydrated and would get better-and a day later she died a painful death ( hemorrhaging and loss of too much blood) It angers me to this day and thinking of it is so painful. When she first started bleeding I rushed her to the ER because I noticed losing this much blood will kill her soon, even I foresaw it with no vet education whatsoever. And what did the vet do? She saw that she was looking perky and hydrated- well obviously since she hadn't lost a lot of blood yet, I came as quickly as the bleeding started.. so she said she would be fine!! Oh boy just writing this out is bringing so much anger back.. I could have went for a second opinion but at the time I barely had enough money for an ER vet visit and it all happened so quickly..The whole experience haunts me, why did my baby have to die a painful death when she could have been put to sleep the day before and wouldn't have had to suffer so much If anything her life and suffering was prolonged because they gave her sub q fluids..

There is nothing that can be done though..It makes me so angry, I almost feel like in general, vets don't treat animals the way doctors treat people, they don't go to the same lengths to find out what's wrong as quickly as doctors do with people and that alone makes me very sad and angry. But in your case, it sounds like it wasn't just that they neglected a problem, it sounds like they committed malpractice and created an even bigger problem. I don't really have much advice for you, I wish I did but like Trouts mom I can only say to try to let go

I completely agree with libby on all of this... He might've messed up on this but it's hard to find someone you trust to have your pet's best interests in mind.

I completely agree that a vet is just someone with a degree.. It couldn't have been put any better. They have so many animals coming to them and it's just numbers that sometimes they won't make the best decision.

I'm very sorry for your loss

As someone who has used every vet within a 40-mile radius and finally finding one whom I can actually trust, I know how you feel. I did have a vet at one point who seemed to be competent medical wise, but he was unethical in a personal sense. Another one didn't seem to know too much medical-wise, and once treated my Maverick with something that probably would have killed him - although I don't think he did it intentionally. I just think he wasn't up-to-date on his medication knowledge (which I did point out to him after finding out about the drugs he prescribed for Maverick and what the potential dangers were). I would trust this vet for a simple procedure (like a neuter/spay for example) but never again for anything serious. The vet that I have now may not be the best when it comes to some things, but she has a good heart and I trust her: she's also willing to listen to anything I have to say and won't get offended if I question her. She has the pet's best interest at heart, and will do whatever it takes to treat the cat: she also won't tell you, "Pay me first or forget it." That's rare to find now-a-days.

I can certainly relate to your second-guessing yourself, because I've been doing the same thing with my beloved Maverick who I just had to have put to sleep. I keep thinking "What if?" I know it's futile and I'm only tortuting myself needlessly, but when you love something so darn much, it's extremely difficult to let go. You keep thinking you could have done more. Maybe it's true, but I don't know if there's such a thing as a "perfect" vet. They all have good qualities & bad qualities. But I think it's important when you find a vet whom you really trust, and is doing the best they can with the knowledge they have.

I don't think you can ever have too much knowledge when it comes to your pets' health, and it sure can't hurt to gather as much information as you possibly can. It may help in the future for another beloved pet. If you feel the need to gather that knowledge, I don't necessarily think it's a "bad" thing. And you may find out something that you could use in the future and present your vet with. But please don't torture yourself by over-obsessing with it: you did what you thought was best for your beloved kitty at the time. And I'm sure he loves you for it.

I am so sorry. I gave my ferrets away to good homes years ago. I am still angry with myself for giving them up. I cry at times for breaking the promises I made to them that my home was going to be their last, and I would be there for them until they died. That was in '98. IF I allow myself to think about it, it breaks my heart every single time. Especially years later after they had all passed away, the woman who got them told me my zyola frit and my kandi frit were pining over me. Broke my heart into a million little pieces to think that those little frit girls missed and loved me so much. They had no choice in my decision.

I fully understand how it is to not be at peace with something. This is my best example of my never having gotten over something. If I allow myself to think about it for any length of time I get so sad. I am crying right now because I hurt for them. There is nothing NOTHING I can do to fix it since they have all passed on.

The only thing that I can do to help myself NOT to hurt over my bad decision (I have been told it was the best decision for them at the time) I just force myself to push it out of my head. I know that if I had forgiven myself for it long ago, it would not bother me 12 years later, so when I think about it, I try to refocus my thoughts onto things that are important now. Example, loving my Shadey. Spending time with her, playing with her.

Sometimes for me it just helps to refocus. It's not easy, but eventually you can train your mind. Some things you can't change. Maybe getting all the facts together won't bring you peace. Maybe it will. I just don't want you to spend too much energy chasing something you may never get. Some times we just have to accept that things happen.

My mom passed away from cancer, and I feel that if the doctor had taken her seriously a year and a half before she was diagnosed, maybe she could have lived. I don't know, and I chose not to find out. I am afraid the answer will drive me more crazy then I feel at times.

I do hope you find peace with this. I am sure your baby is near you and trying to help you to be happy the way they always like us. Smile for being blessed with your beautiful baby in your life. Sometimes moving forward, and not letting yourself to become obsessed helps. Maybe answers will come to you when you are not expecting!

Be safe.

I hope your heart heals faster then mine is.

It's entirely natural to be a upset over the death of a loved one, and our cats certainly are included in that. I'd be concerned about anyone who WASN'T upset about it.

I would not take my cats to Dr. C again. If you feel he misjudged a diagnosis and caused your Fuzzy to be ill enough to be euthanized, that would be enough for me to stop going to him. He may be a wonderful person but your better off with a wonderful vet, one who has no history of misjudging. Only my opinion but Dr. C would never see my cats again.

I work in a vet clinic and we had a client that had to put down their dog. Quite a while later they ended up making an appointment to talk to the doctor about it because they just couldnt move on. You might consider scheduling a consult with your vet and just asking them to go over everything with you and answer your questions about the situation.
Also, it sounds to me like you don't trust your vet and perhaps you should consider "vet shopping".

Hearing all of these sad stories about vets messing up, is making me change my mind about what I am going back to school for. I was originally going for vet, but changed my mind. I've changed it again.. I know I will be a GREAT vet who really cares about every animal, not money.

There is an animal hospital down the street from me. Years ago when my boyfriend's cousin's cat Smokey lived with us, he came home one night with a severe limp and his hip bone was jutting out (he was indoor outdoor). BF's cousin took him to that vet down the street.. He charged cousin an arm and a leg to tell him that Smokey had to have a $2,000 dollar surgery or he would die in two weeks! Needless to say, BF's cousin took him to the Humane Society's clinic (where he should have gone in the first place) after that and got Smokey the RIGHT care. Smokey didn't die two weeks later. He is at the Bridge now though, he was hit by a car.
That same vet did the same thing to a friend's cat which had a similar injury to Smokey's. The friend didn't get the expensive surgery and the cat's leg healed fine and the cat didn't die..

On another note, I think you need to do what YOU feel is best for your pets' health in regards to who you will use as your vet. I also feel that everyone grieves in their own way and on their own time. Maybe what you are doing will help you get over Fuzzy's death. My boss just lost one of her parrots last Saturday. She spent 5 days crying non-stop and she is coming out into the store and telling every customer that she knows what happened to Geronimo. She is annoying the other employees, but I understand that she is grieving, and it is even worse on her because she feels it is her fault Geronimo passed. She actually told my BF's mom that she is more stressed about what happened to Geronimo than she was about her husband getting surgery to remove his cancerous kidney. It annoyed my MIL, but I told her that my boss is upset about it and it could take a while for her to let it go. I just try to comfort my boss and tell her its okay for her to be upset.

First of all . It's hard losing a loved one and my heart goes out to you .

BUT...medical practice is a crap shoot. Whether it's human or animal medicine. They go by symptoms and narrow it down from there. It's hard for doctors to diagnos things in humans, and they can talk! A vet has it 100 times harder.

Were the mistakes you found overlooked to begin with, or did you find them in hindsight?

Either way, you may want to sit down and talk to him about it. If he is caring he will want to hear what you have to say and maybe he can give some explaination of his decisions. A vet you feel comfortable with is rare...hold on to him. But I do think you have to ask him your questions because he may have the same questions running through his mind.