I need your opinions, is this reasonable??

So I have a very delicate issue that I need advice on..
I am extremely sensitive to smells and bad smells make me gag, I have a very weak stomach so I am extremely bothered by bad smells, even if it is just a faint smell that I notice, I focus in on it and start to smell it more eventually and it could lead me to gagging..

When I wake up in the morning I have to go brush my teeth, scrape my tongue, and use mouthwash immediately, I don't sit around without brushing my teeth at all, because my own breath bothers me when it isn't really fresh. If after I've brushed my teeth it still isn't fresh enough (which happens sometimes if I'm dehydrated) I first eat an orange or something that works for freshening breath and then chew gum all day long and periodically still eat a food that's known to help freshen breath. I don't use breath mints because I find that the best way to keep breath fresh is to be really hydrated and have enough saliva and eat a lot of fruits, and also gum. Anyway, I need to get to the point lol...

The issue here is with my boyfriend..he has a pretty good mouth hygiene, he flosses, brushes his teeth regularly, the only thing is he doesn't use a tongue scraper, but not everyone uses that anyway...But sadly his breath still bothers me, even though I wouldn't say he has bad breath or anything...I mean, even if I did only that my own breath would bother me. His breath is in no way worse than mine would be if I didn't always chew gum and stay hydrated, that means that it isn't noticeably bad unless someone like me decides to focus on it while he's kissing me lol.. If he wasn't my boyfriend and we never kissed I'd never even notice anything about his breath..but it does bother me...

It seems to me like he just isn't conscious of his breath, not even the way I am about mine. In the morning while I'm running to brush my teeth he likes to lay in bed and even likes to kiss and hug. I try to give him hints, like I try to get him to eat more fruits and to drink more water and to chew gum but he doesn't understand where it's all coming from and why I'm doing it lol...
I feel really bad because I dont' want to offend him, it's not like he has some big issue with his breath anyway, I am just so darn sensitive to smells!!! What do I do lol

My hubby and I have been known to have dragonbreath in the morning. If I want a kiss, or hubby wants to kiss me before we have brushed, I lean over and ask him for a listerine strip. We have a little pack of those stashed in his side of the headboard and all it takes is a second and we both have fresh breath.

That's kind of a sticky situation. It sounds like the real issue is your sensitivity, and not his breath. In all honesty, it sounds like he probably has "normal" smelling breath, but you've developed an aversion to that. The way you describe the situation, I would guess that the vast majority of people wouldn't have a problem with his breath, but that you do? Honestly (and this isn't meant unkindly at all) most people do not go to the lengths you do with the tongue scraping and the gum chewing. It really does sound like (based on your description) that the issue lies with your smell aversion, and not his hygiene. I really wouldn't have any idea as to how you would bring that up to him. If someone said something like that to me, I would be mortified. I don't even know how to advise you.

I do understand. I love my BF, but have never really liked the way his mouth... umm..... tasted. I would hint and hint and he wouldn' get it... I would give him those Listerine strips before we would kiss, etc.

I began to wonder really... what the problem is because, like your BF, he is very good about oral hygiene. Then it dawned on me. He has a fairly large dental partial - he keeps it clean, but I think this is the problem. He got a new one recently and know what? The "breath problem" is greatly improved.

Men are dense... you cannot HINT with them. Tell him but gently. Make it a good thing.. .that really enjoy kissing and there would be more kissing and stuff like that if.....

What I said to him was, I love you and love kissing you but your mouth just never tasted good to me.. .and I have to wonder if it was the old partial b/c it is much better now.

He was stunned.... but accepted my explanation.

Your boyfriend may also have sinus or acid reflux issues.... those will give you bad breath even if you take care of your mouth.

I think this really depends on how sensitive he is. I have the same problem as you in a way. I am overly sensitive to anything that has to do with peopleâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s mouths. One of my biggest pet peeves with my boyfriend is when he flosses in the family room, or puts his fingers in his mouth and then flings whatever it is off his finger. All I can visualize is food particles and germs flying all over where we eat, relax, watch TV, and spend most of our nights… nasty.

Fortunately for me I have a whole wide range of mental issues that I love to make fun of myself about. Because of this I can pretty much say anything thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s on my mind and people never take offence because they just think itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s me LOL. When my boyfriend does this I normally say something like “OMG youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re so nasty†pretend I am going to be sick and then laugh. He will shake his head, laugh, tell me Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m so neurotic, I agree and say “thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s right, you should know better†and thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s the end of that. He isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t embarrassed, I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t have to be disgusted it all works out.

Maybe you can do something like that. Explain to him that its totally you and not him, not be as straight forward as I am (Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not so blunt with more sensitive people) but I find when you blame yourself for something most people understand.

Its either say something or ignore it. Youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re not alone in this. This opens up the age old discussion on whether or not itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s appropriate to tell your partners what they do to irritate you.

Originally Posted by BaloneysMom

...I find when you blame yourself for something most people understand.

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Yes! The old Seinfeld "It's not you, it's me" thing. I'm sure if you explain it to him, he'll understand.

Have you ever looked into why you're so sensitive to odors? It might be caused by a medicine you're taking or some kind of health condition you aren't aware of. (I have a little bit of the same problem, and I think it's caused by having had gastric-band surgery.) You might ask your doctor next time you see him.

OOOerr erm. when i was with my Ex i used to leave kissing and that until after brushing as bad breath can make my eyes water lol i too have a weak stomach with smells like that lol x

OMG...we smooch all the time with dragon breath around here

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

OMG...we smooch all the time with dragon breath around here

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Same! And the cats' dragon breath is even worse

Sorry, I have no advice!

I totally think you should discuss it with him - and tell him it's not his breath, it's your sensitivity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ....and keep the listerine strips handy! I mean - if this is going to be a long term relationship, then he needs to know you've got a sensitivity to smells! He can't be considerate of it if he doesn't know about it. ...and the problem isn't going to only necessarily be his breath. Who knows what kind of stinky flower or perfume or something he may try to give you as a gift - and then not understand - and have his feelings hurt a year from now because you never said anything?????????????

Honesty with someone you really care about is always the best policy - you just have to figure out the right way to say it (and when). You're both happier in the long run.

I also have extremely sensitive senses, especially smell. Cigarettes turn my stomach, and I often smell things that other people look at me like I am crazy! It can be difficult to tel someone you work with or a friend that they have BO or BB, but if it is your boyfriend who you live with? If you live with him, he should now your sensitivity, and if he doesn't, he should. The longer you wait, the more excessive it seems......

Originally Posted by sarahp

Same!

And the cats' dragon breath is even worse

Sorry, I have no advice!

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Yup! And getting a kiss upon awakening, leaving the house, and arriving back...cats or hubby is all good. The cats are way worse about brushing, and I've seen them licking.......um, EVERYTHING....on their bodies!

Sorry, I cracked myself up there.

Yeah, you need to talk to him and let him know how you feel, he can't change his oral hygeine to suit your needs unless you tell him. Sweet kisses in your future.

Not trying to be mean here, but if he puts up with you chewing gum all the time, a normal amount of oral hygiene on his part should be acceptable. Many people don't even know what tongue scrapers are.
I understand that it is just something that bothers you, and if it that important, he will probably appreciate it being addressed in the loving manner that I am sure you will use.

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

OMG...we smooch all the time with dragon breath around here

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Here too!!!!

According to my mother and my little brother I can have some horrendous morning breath, good thing Cody doesn't seem to mind. He always seems to wake up right in my face every morning.


BUT Although his dragonbreath doesn't bother me, certain "other" more uhh...embarrassing smells do and I've learned to not be afraid to offend him by telling him that he needs to shower or at least have a good wash-up in the sink.

It's important for you to feel like you can voice all of your feelings without fear in a relationship. I am sure if you just brought it up casually one day that he probably wouldn't take offense at all since he loves you, wants to keep you close, and make you happy.

Plus I really like the idea of listerine strips next to the bed!