i feel really lost right now

Oh Sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about what your family is going thru.
I'm glad you're going to see your Grandfather; whether he knows you or not doesn't really matter at this point. It will help your Grandmother, and in the end you won't have regrets about not seeing him.
(((BIG HUGS))) to you and your family.

I'm so sorry. It is better for you to see him and it might help your grandmother to know that you're there, too.

Sending you (((hugs)))

AJ, you already know my thoughts....and I'm glad to see that you will be going to visit him.... My thoughts are there with you and I really wish I could you.

I am so sorry sweetie..... you've had such a rough go lately, and I wish I could take it all away for you. Know you're in my thoughts and

Ashley, has your gran/family not contacted the Macmillan Nurses for help?

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx

My brother had lung and bone cancer, and they were excellent!. They'll help your gran and sort out anything she needs done.

Originally Posted by Pookie-poo

Try to muster up the fortitude to visit your Grandfather. My parents didn't want us to see my Gramps sick in the hospital, with bad cancer....so we didn't go. I regret that decision more than you will ever know.

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It was really hard having to watch our brother lose so much weight before our eyes, but you have to remember that it's not a walk in the park for the ones that's suffering either?.

You don't have to talk about the cancer or the fact that he's leaving you, he already knows. My brother didn't want to talk about it and we never unless he brought it into the conversation.

Just be there and be yourself

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

Ashley, has your gran/family not contacted the Macmillan Nurses for help?

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx

My brother had lung and bone cancer, and they were excellent!. They'll help your gran and sort out anything she needs done.

It was really hard having to watch our brother lose so much weight before our eyes, but you have to remember that it's not a walk in the park for the ones that's suffering either?.

You don't have to talk about the cancer or the fact that he's leaving you, he already knows. My brother didn't want to talk about it and we never unless he brought it into the conversation.

Just be there and be yourself

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yeah they have a nurse that somes in but at the moment my nana is doing everything she can

i think we are going down with my mam and dad, i know its not a walk in the park for him but we are thankfull hes not understanding all to much i know its not nice to think that way but he doesnt realise hes in pain

I'm so glad you're going to go see him. It's the best thing for both you and him.

I flew to see my grandmother four days before she passed, and I'm such a coward that I just could not acknowledge that she was leaving us. Instead, I joked and teased her, and she laughed just like her old self... and that has given me so much comfort in the years since.

But even if it hadn't been like that, just knowing that she knew I came would have been enough. You'll always be glad you went, I promise.

just a quick update

my grandads kidneys have now started to fail, now ive tried googling to see what this means and how long after this sets in he would pass not curiosity or anything like that but it is i just wanted to see how long we will still have him for without trying to be morbid about it

he doesnt really recognised anyone anymore he sometimes cant remember why he went into the bathroom, just for a quick wah rather than anything else

its made me reasses my life especially if i get told i have any sort of terminal illness

im just so....i cant think of a word that describes the noise coming out of my mouth at the moment if that makes sense

Work are being great i told my boss straight away what had been happening and the update we had, as we had just had a staff meeting saying we need to give two weeks notice for holidays and the likes...and he and his wife (owners of the pub) have told me its nothing to worry about if i need time off short notice so i cant thank them enough to be honest

I lost my dad last year in May. He was 91. My mother left us three girls when we were babies and our dad was always there. For the last year and a half he lived in the nursing home sitting in a wheel chair. I dreaded everytime I went to visit him because it was so hard to see him lose his health. But I went anyway and now I am so glad I did. You will never be sorry if you just go and see your grandaddy. As hard as it is to see them failing, you still will have your good memories of him. Once he has passed the good memories will be what fills your mind. Hugs to you and your family.

Awwww hun, I am so sorry, you have offered me so many kind words when I have needed them.Huge for you, its so awful, dh's grandad gets his scan results on tuesday, the hardest thing is watching a person you love suffer. I am not very good with words but my thoughts are with you and if you ever need me, pm me. xx

Keep strong. Even if he doesn't know you, your grandfather may get comfort from a familiar hand holding his, or the feel of a kiss on his cheek. I know that seems to calm my father in his dementia, although he doesn't know us. It is so hard, but you have good people around you and you will get through this.

I'm sorry about the worse news on your grandpa. You were blessed to have him in your life, and I hope he is not suffering too much.

hugs and headbumps from me and mine

xo

If his kidneys have failed, he is very close to passing. I would strongly suggest that you get to him today. I have seen some people last up to four or five days after kidney failure, but it often comes much sooner than that. My grandma survived two days after kidney failure, while in hospice in her own home. I really hope that you are able to see him before he passes so that you can say goodbye. I have no regrets about coming home for those last few months of my grandmother's life. We practically lived at my grandparents house that last week and I am so glad that I stayed. I wouldn't want you to regret having not seen him and your presence there will be not only good for you, but for your family, and for him. Just because he may not be quite aware of his surroundings doesn't mean he isn't aware of his loved one's presence. I have been present at approaching 200 deaths as a chaplain and have seen many, many people have brief lucid moments- my grandmother included. You wouldn't want to miss that- it is such a gift. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

When my Mamaw died in 2006 she deteriorated in a similar way. First she broke her hip then basically stayed in a nursing home until she passed. She got pneumonia several times and her body just became weak. Her memory starting getting dodgy and she would say such off the wall things. She was 88 when she died. Up until her 87th birthday she was healthy as a horse and had a sassy attitude to match. She let everybody know just because she was in her 80's didn't mean she could be passed off as an "old lady".

I know it's hard to see your grandfather this way, but the time you have with him is so precious. Maybe he isn't completely aware of what is going on around him, but who knows what pieces of information he can hold on to right now. And though it may make you terribly sad to see him like this, trust me, spend as much time as you can with him. I didn't see my Mamaw nearly enough in her last 6 months simply because it was so so hard seeing my strong and sassy Mamaw just wasting away. I truly wish I had.

I am so very sorry you're having to go through this. Lots and lots of for you and your family sweetie.