My Sweet Maverick: the Love of My Life - Page 2

Logically, I know you're right. Unfortunately, my heart feels something else. There's a big hole in it right now that will take a looooong time (if ever) to heal.

I'm so sorry that you lost your beloved Whisky, too. I, like you, believe I did everything that could have possibly been done for Maverick. He's been on one kind of med or another for over a year now: Deep down, I guess I knew his time with me was getting short over a year ago, but didn't want to accept it. What made the last few weeks more difficult to accept was the fact that Maverick was improving, then all of a sudden took a turn for the worse. I started having too much false hope, I guess, and expected another "miracle" to occur. Maybe more could have been done, but even if it could, I did not want to force more stuff down his throat for who knows how much longer. He was getting so stressed out from having to take his meds, and it was turning into a big battle every time I had to give him something. He was beginning to run & hide from me every time he saw me coming. I wanted him to remember me with love - not dread. I guess I know I did the right thing, but oh my God, how it hurts.

I'm doing a little better today. The mornings & nights are the worse. The mornings are bad when I first get up and start looking for him then realize he's not here, and when I go to make him his special food. The nights are bad b/c he's not here to snuggle under the blankets with me like he always used to do.

Thank you again everyone for being there. I don't know how I'd get thru all of this if it weren't for y'all.

That's one of the reasons why I went ahead and made the decision - because I knew I'd be feeling unbearable guilt the rest of my life if I went ahead and let him starve to death instead of ending his suffering before it got too bad.

I thought about getting a cremation locket, but for some reason, I don't think I could bear having his remains too close to my heart. Maybe it's because the pain is still too fresh.

To honor my beloved baby, I've decided to have a bracelet made up with his name & the dates, which I will wear always. I'm also going to have a special frame made up which has his name & the dates engraved on it, and in which you can also have a photo inserted. Maverick is being cremated, and along with the urn, the special frame will be placed in a special location in the house.