How do you know you are ready to die?

I am not doing well.
My heart is causing big problems, its going way too fast. resting pulse, 110 blood pressure, 153/98.
I do breathing exersizes, meditate, stopped drinking, stopped eating bad food, still here I am.
I have no money to go to the doc with what will be a lot of tests. Lots of cash neither me or my family has.
I am afraid, I don't want to leave here yet.

I am going to be the bad smell from next door when I drop dead.
Poor Ginger, what will hapen to her???

Might be anxiety, it does wicked things to the heart and breathing. I've had anxiety attacks that made me believe that death was coming soon. Do you have urgent care near you or a sliding fee clinic? I wish I could help you better than typing words on a screen. I finally found an awesome DR after years of having ones that seemed too busy to listen to me, it's very disheartening to be brushed off. I had no faith in DR's what-so-ever until I picked this one at random....needed a PCP after being released from the hospital with pneumonia. Thank God I picked right. He has been the most caring and helpful DR ever. I wish for you to find a DR like that...where ever you can. for feeling better.

Can't get a new heart, from my alchhol abuse, so SOL there.
Someone hug me!!!

Hi Trillcat, I'm not a doctor and have no medical training whatsoever but I know that that is high. Your resting pulse rate should be taken when you have been sitting and relaxing for a period of time before taking it. Also, nerves and anxiety could increase it along with other things like coffee or any caffeinated drinks. You really should get checked out by a doctor, can't you get any kind of medical aid if you don't have the money or insurance to cover it? How long have you been aware that there could be a problem?
Are there no doctors that would see you if you can't afford it?

PM me if you want to talk to someone. I'm here for you!

Originally Posted by Althekitty

Hi Trillcat, I'm not a doctor and have no medical training whatsoever but I know that that is high. Your resting pulse rate should be taken when you have been sitting and relaxing for a period of time before taking it. Also, nerves and anxiety could increase it along with other things like coffee or any caffeinated drinks. You really should get checked out by a doctor, can't you get any kind of medical aid if you don't have the money or insurance to cover it? How long have you been aware that there could be a problem?
Are there no doctors that would see you if you can't afford it?

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I dont drink caffine, my coffee is de-caf. No soda pop. have also quit tea. which I love but the tannis are the same as caffine.
I have been aware of this for a few months now. It is not getting better.
It started when I quit drinking, go figure, eh? Or I just did not notice while drunk 24/7.
I take my pulse while rested, sitting for at least 10 minutes. I think I did have an anixety attact, I feel a bit odd now. Wow, this sucks

A complete freak out, here for all to see.
Damn.

Originally Posted by Trillcat

A complete freak out, here for all to see.
Damn.

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No shame in that. Anxiety is nasty. Been there.

If your blood pressure is 110/something, that is great. If it's something/110, that's something to be concerned about.

Mickey Mantle got a new liver when he ruined his from drinking, what would keep you from getting some shiny new parts?

Originally Posted by mrblanche

If your blood pressure is 110/something, that is great. If it's something/110, that's something to be concerned about.

Mickey Mantle got a new liver when he ruined his from drinking, what would keep you from getting some shiny new parts?

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Her resting heart rate was 110. Her BP was 153/98. I've higher BP, especially on the top, but Trill's heart rate is like my DH's. We both take BP meds and I think Trill would benefit from that as Dr recommended.

Srsly, Trillcat...you need to see a DR of some sort. ER's can not turn you away.

Originally Posted by spudsmom

Her resting heart rate was 110. Her BP was 153/98. I've higher BP, especially on the top, but Trill's heart rate is like my DH's. We both take BP meds and I think Trill would benefit from that as Dr recommended.

Srsly, Trillcat...you need to see a DR of some sort. ER's can not turn you away.

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But I am so frightened of what they will tell me!
Back to freak out mode.

Originally Posted by Trillcat

But I am so frightened of what they will tell me!
Back to freak out mode.

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Don't ignore this. Don't be afraid of what the doctors will tell you. Five years ago, I ignored my body and BP and ended up in the hospital with a stroke. Your body is telling you something, don't ignore it!

Hun, what are you more afraid of? Dying or what a doctor will say? Go get checked out.

I tried to PM you, but folder was full........
I wanted to give you , and ask you please see a doctor, find a way....There must be a friend, family, or take the plunge and call a local doctor, a hospital can not refuse you! We care and don't want you to keep suffering like this.....

Cheyenne and Maia

I also tried to PM you but it was full...

My resting heartbeat was 130 BPM and I had ridiculously high blood pressure too. I am only 22 years old.

The reason it started when you quit drinking is because the alcohol was masking your symptoms. I actually still don't know what I actually have, but I do know that my medication drastically slowed my heart rate and brought my BP back to normal.

Alcohol slows your heart rate and lowers your blood pressure, so in a sick kind of way, it was medicating you at the expense of your other organs.

I don't think you are ready to die, I think you just need to get yourself to a free clinic where they will give you at least one months supply of a GOOD medication to treat your problem, as well as give you information about low-income clinics that will treat you and write you scrips for as low as 20$.

My scrip is only 4$ for a months supply of pills, I am sure they could put you on something similar.


I'm sorry that you are going through this, unfortunately your heart wont be able to take it if you dont have it checked out. The human heart only averages so many beats in a lifetime before it finally stops beating, so in essence you are drastically shortening the amount of time you have on earth by allowing your heart to continue to beat at 110 bpm.

Originally Posted by Nekomania

I also tried to PM you but it was full...

My resting heartbeat was 130 BPM and I had ridiculously high blood pressure too. I am only 22 years old.

The reason it started when you quit drinking is because the alcohol was masking your symptoms. I actually still don't know what I actually have, but I do know that my medication drastically slowed my heart rate and brought my BP back to normal.

Alcohol slows your heart rate and lowers your blood pressure, so in a sick kind of way, it was medicating you at the expense of your other organs.

I don't think you are ready to die, I think you just need to get yourself to a free clinic where they will give you at least one months supply of a GOOD medication to treat your problem, as well as give you information about low-income clinics that will treat you and write you scrips for as low as 20$.

My scrip is only 4$ for a months supply of pills, I am sure they could put you on something similar.


I'm sorry that you are going through this, unfortunately your heart wont be able to take it if you dont have it checked out. The human heart only averages so many beats in a lifetime before it finally stops beating, so in essence you are drastically shortening the amount of time you have on earth by allowing your heart to continue to beat at 110 bpm.

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True! Wish I could have said it so well. It's really nothing to mess around with. I don't want to scare you, but you can't make it better on your own. Srsly...YOU can't make it better, seems like you need meds and there is nothing wrong with that. My motto...better living through chemistry and I was a total non-believer for a long time. It's OK to be scared...just be scared enough to get it taken care of.

Your heartrate and blood pressure are high, but you can't possibly think that is evidence that you're dying. My grandfather's blood pressure has been 160/100 for a few years until he finally was put on a blood pressure medication, that he now takes every day and it brings it down to 120/80..
As far as your heart beat, mine has been that high many times before from an electrolyte imbalance and anxiety..While blood pressure and heart rate this high isn't normal and you may be sick, you are making yourself even worse by thinking this way. And you have to realize that people live long lives with just a simple pill to bring their blood pressure down...In every one of your posts I've seen lately I see this desperation or fear or pessimism ..I don't know what it is exactly, but there's something. I know you said you can't afford a doctor but at least check out some self help books because I think you may be suffering from something emotional/mental more than anything...the alcohol abuse was probably a symptom for that as well.
And do get yourself to a free clinic that can give you the right medicine. They may not do expensive blood tests, they may just do an EKG which is something they can do right away while you're there and it will tell them a lot about how well your heart is functioning. High blood pressure is common in people over 40. I hope this rough time is over for you soon.

i have just emailed my folks, let them know what is going on. I feel like I am sroking out. Breathe, Laura, breathe.
I am shaking, afraid to even look at what my heart is doing. I am dizzy, not at all in a good way

Originally Posted by Trillcat

But I am so frightened of what they will tell me!
Back to freak out mode.

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My brother-in-law was like that. Refused to go to the doctor, because he would just tell him to quit smoking. Died in his sleep of a massive heart attack 4 days before his 56th birthday, back in October.

If you have serious health problems, a competent ER or health center knows how to get you assistance.