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Clingy kitten?

post #1 of 17
1/2/10 at 4:34pm
Thread Starter 
Hi everyone, I'm new to this site!

I got a kitten about 5 weeks ago now. A beautiful Russian Blue/Mix stray. Well, I'm pretty convinced she's part RB anyways. Personality and looks... She's about 5 months old now.

Normally its just her and me who live in my place. She's very affectionate and loves people. I went home to my parents for the past 2 weeks, and learned something about her.

With 4 adults in the house, she becomes much more independent and self-sufficient. She found a couple favourite nooks to sleep in when she's tired, she spent time cuddling and playing with each of us, she went downstairs for her kibbles and wander around. She'll follow us, but she'll amuse herself.

Then when I got home, I realized she acts differently! She's very clingy. She won't leave the room I'm in, but she won't really settle down unless I settle down. I bought her a soft little bed, and she'll use it when I have company over, or at my parents, but when it's just her and me... she won't use it!

And unless there's an elimination "urgency", she won't leave the room I'm in to go into my bathroom for her litter box or kibbles, unless I go there first.

Take today for example: My couch isn't that soft, so when I'm watching tv... she plays, looks out the window, wanders, meows, gets in trouble for jumping on the table, and plays a bit more. I KNOW however that she is catgone tired from her earlier mouse-chasing session. She had been chasing it for almost an hour. It was at the point where she was just lying at the floor, staring at it, with a few pathetic swats. But she wouldn't curl up. Her bed was right there next to me. So I go in my bedroom, sit on my bed, and she follows, jumps up, and practically starts snoring right away. I get up and take a shower, and she gets up to "monitor" my shower, trying to stay awake sitting on the counter.... I guess she just really loves me

So my shower finished, I'm sitting on the bed, typing this out, and she is FINALLY snoozing away next to me.

Is this just kitten behaviour? Why is she not like this with more people around? Thanks for your advice!!
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post #2 of 17
1/2/10 at 5:36pm
Depends on the cat.

I'd say you have a wonderful cat that will grow up to be your most affectionate cuddle-cat.

Our black cat was the same in many ways that you describe.
When he was a kitten I thought I was going to have to buy a baby sling because he wanted to be carried all the time everywhere I went.

Today, he is the most affectionate of our three - is the first to find his place in the bed - up on my arm. He talks to me, and when I'm rubbing his tummy he gives a satisfied sigh - really cute.

So, when your kitty gets older she may very well enjoy others. You're blessed!
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post #3 of 17
1/2/10 at 5:39pm
Maybe she's afraid you'll disappear like all the other people did. And she has to keep an eye on you every single moment!

My two were adopted separately, and as adults - my girl (also a pretty little blue girl, but not a Russian Blue) got very clingy til I got my boy. After our introduction transition, they still both follow me around, and usually end up settling in whatever room I'm in, but they seem a tad more independent now that they have each other to check on, chase, etc.

But, I've noticed that after spending more time at home while on vacation or ill, and then going back to work, they both get more clingy when I return home after being gone all day - like they're not quite sure if Mom is going to hang around and they better keep track of me.
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post #4 of 17
1/2/10 at 5:44pm
She sounds like a very sociable kitty! Have you thought of getting another?

Be sure to give her a lot of one on one time. Don't just watch her play, get on the floor and play Games with her, every day.

Welcome to the forum! What's her name?
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post #5 of 17
1/2/10 at 5:57pm
Thread Starter 
Wow, thanks for your responses... Her name is Sophie

One comment got me thinking... at my parents, we were mostly all home most of the time, because of the holidays. Whereas at my place, she's most often used to me going off to work between 8 and 4. I'm sure that has something to do with it.

Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to get a second cat.

Thanks for your compliments. I am blessed to have such a loving pet. I definitely make time to play with her, too. I'll just see what happens as she grows up some more...
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post #6 of 17
1/2/10 at 6:03pm
Yes, in her short time with you, she got used to lots of people around all the time.

I suggest you put a bird feeder outside of a handy window, and keep it filled. This will give Sophie something to stimulate her during the day.

Some people leave a radio playing softly.

Get in the habit of a special Game time with Sophie every single night at the same time. With repetition she will soon learn that she will have this special time with you every night. She'll know that after you turn off the computer, or brush your teeth or whatever you will be all hers. This will help her feel more secure and bonded with you.

A feliway plug in would help, too.
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post #7 of 17
1/2/10 at 7:22pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks.. I'll try those things.

I hate to leave her during the day. And I feel guilty when I can't give her my full attention at home, if I'm preoccupied. I wish I had a bigger family to keep her entertained and more stimulated... *sigh* I want her to be happy...
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post #8 of 17
1/2/10 at 7:43pm
And she is happy - she has a human she loves, a warm home, and a full tummy. Give yourselves both some time. And, from what I've read, it's more important that you spend some consistent time with her everyday, but it doesn't have to be hours and hours - cats love consistency and routine and she'll learn your habits, as you will hers. Mine definitely know when it's time to wake up, and when it's time to sleep - half the time they're in bed before I am and we cuddle for 10-15 minutes (well, I pet, and they tend to try to groom me too!) Oh, don't be worried if she doesn't use her nice bed all the time - I suspect she'll enjoy sleeping with you, or on the couch, more.

Do you have room for a cat tree? If you can put one by a window, she can have fun climbing the tree as well as looking out of the window. If you don't, if there's other furniture she can climb on as she gets older (even bookshelves) are good to arrange for her, so she'll have different levels to live on. Some people here have installed wall shelves for their kitties to as little 'roads' around their homes.

And, and I hope you don't laugh, when I'm home and working on other things, I do talk to mine about what I'm doing, whether it's cleaning a closet (and how fun that is with a cat in the house!), or cooking, or even reading out loud to them. And they know when it's coat brushing time, and when it's time to watch tv with me. And, don't forget - she's probably sleeping a good part of the time when you're gone - but she'll enjoy her mornings and evenings with you all the more.

I do leave soft music on when I leave - usually that new age station from On Demand - I've read cats enjoy classical, harp, or new age music the most.

You and Sophie sound very lucky to have found each other!
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post #9 of 17
1/2/10 at 9:11pm
My Neko is the same way! I think she has oriental/siamese in her due to her shape in face/body and how she is very vocal and dependent. She follows me and my boyfriend everywhere, me mostly. For example, I slept in one morning... well afternoon, lol, and felt bad that i hadn't woken up earlier to feed her so i get up and put some kibble in her bowl. She starts eating it quickly and i return to bed (my day off, why not) and she returns to bed with me instead of eating! I also wish i could get her another kitty to play with while i'm at work, but i live in an apt that charges $300/per pet!!! Cant wait to have a house!
Enjoy the affection, she's happy!
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post #10 of 17
1/3/10 at 5:20am
Quote:
Originally Posted by darlili View Post
And she is happy - she has a human she loves, a warm home, and a full tummy. Give yourselves both some time. And, from what I've read, it's more important that you spend some consistent time with her everyday, but it doesn't have to be hours and hours - cats love consistency and routine and she'll learn your habits, as you will hers. Mine definitely know when it's time to wake up, and when it's time to sleep - half the time they're in bed before I am and we cuddle for 10-15 minutes (well, I pet, and they tend to try to groom me too!) Oh, don't be worried if she doesn't use her nice bed all the time - I suspect she'll enjoy sleeping with you, or on the couch, more.

Do you have room for a cat tree? If you can put one by a window, she can have fun climbing the tree as well as looking out of the window. If you don't, if there's other furniture she can climb on as she gets older (even bookshelves) are good to arrange for her, so she'll have different levels to live on. Some people here have installed wall shelves for their kitties to as little 'roads' around their homes.

And, and I hope you don't laugh, when I'm home and working on other things, I do talk to mine about what I'm doing, whether it's cleaning a closet (and how fun that is with a cat in the house!), or cooking, or even reading out loud to them. And they know when it's coat brushing time, and when it's time to watch tv with me. And, don't forget - she's probably sleeping a good part of the time when you're gone - but she'll enjoy her mornings and evenings with you all the more.

I do leave soft music on when I leave - usually that new age station from On Demand - I've read cats enjoy classical, harp, or new age music the most.

You and Sophie sound very lucky to have found each other!
Terrific post, and I agree with every word! I talk to my cats constantly. (I must drive my landlord crazy when his store below me is open, ha)

I use their names in every sentence and say things like "okay now, Tolly I'm going to put the dishes away, then Mazy I will put my pjs on and Jennie, we can all three curl up on the couch together"

And even when I'm busy on the computer I am always looking up to see where they re "Hi Tolly" I'll say, "Oh Mazy where are you?" "Aww, lookit our Jennie"

I never stop talking!
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post #11 of 17
1/3/10 at 7:30am
She wuvs you and you're her "person"! I have 2 cats and both of them love, love, LOVE, being in the same room as me. I have one that will follow me around and then the other one will make this pitiful meow/crying sound when she realizes she's not with her people and she can't find them. (She's too lazy to go look, too! LOL) When I call out to her and she "finds" me, she's so excited! She purrs, chirps, meeps, and rubs her head all over me!

Like a PP mentioned, when I am home with my girls for the day, I talk to them. I walk by and pet them when they're sleeping and tell them how much I love them and what good girls they are. I tell them what I'm doing. I sing to them, too, either with or without the radio/CD player going. I go looking for them if I haven't seen them for awhile to check up on them. They so love it when I'm home for the day!

Since you can't have another cat at the moment, you might look into getting her a small stuffed toy she can have as a "friend" and "companion". That might help her become a bit more independent.
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post #12 of 17
1/3/10 at 9:16am
Quote:
Originally Posted by otto View Post
Terrific post, and I agree with every word! I talk to my cats constantly. ...
... And even when I'm busy on the computer I am always looking up to see where they re "Hi Tolly" I'll say, "Oh Mazy where are you?" "Aww, lookit our Jennie"

I never stop talking!

I hope you give them opportunities to get a few words in too.

Yes, I talk to my furbabies - but not that much 'cause it confuses my husband - he doesn't know when he should be listening. Now, he doesn't even say "What?", because it's the cats I'm usually talking to ... that is unless I get his attention first.
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post #13 of 17
1/3/10 at 9:32pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for making me feel better, guys!

It does help to remember that I'm looking after all her basic needs, and that's the most important thing. Sometimes I just feel like a single parent, and it stresses me out to think that I'm responsible for her physical and emotional health all by myself.

Yep, I do talk to her all the time, and play with her. And I leave soft music on when I go out.

See the thing is, I grew up with one cat, but by the time I was old enough to bond with her, she was a senior cat (she was 8 when I was 4, and she lived to be 21!). She never had separation anxiety or cried when we went out, we never wondered if she was bored. Of course, she had more people in the house to keep her stimulated, and she was also an outdoor cat (which Sophie is not).

So when I got Sophie, I was not prepared for these considerations... that she would hate being left, that she might get bored and lonely. It just kinda suddenly hit me, after she started settling in with me. And it can really discourage me. The WORST is when I have to go out in the evenings, after coming home from work. And I want to start jogging again to get back in shape, but that would also involve leaving her twice in the day.

Sometimes I feel like I need to find a husband, just so Sophie can have a dad... bahaha!

I'm attempting to leash train Sophie, so we can go for outings together. I think she'll eventually put up with the leash enough to enjoy that! So far, it hasn't been too bad.
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post #14 of 17
1/4/10 at 1:14pm
If it's any consolation, she probably sleeps most of the time you're not at home, so don't feel too bad for her. My two girls are so different when I'm at home. I know that when we're not here they just sleep.
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post #15 of 17
1/4/10 at 7:18pm
Umm, did you know there are pet strollers? Just in case you're interested?

I felt bad about going for walks without my two, so I got a pet stroller on Overstock.com (my local shelter has a couple they use for adoption events). Anyway, my girl doesn't care for going for rides, but my boy loves it.

But, remember, you need to stay healthy and energetic so you can take good care of your little girl for a long long time - and, like little kids, believe me, these kitties can play you. My girl has an assortment of meows - and she knows how to pull out the 'sad little kitty, no one loves me' when I don't get out of bed fast enough.

Your lttle girl is dearly loved - but you're entirely right that it's a big responsibility any of us have taken, in being responsible for another life.
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post #16 of 17
1/4/10 at 7:30pm
Sometimes I leave on Animal Planet when I leave. And also there's a video, I think it's called Catsitter, and apparently cats love it. It's got little animals on it and such. I think there are also interactive "hide the treat" games you can set up and leave them to play with during the day...
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post #17 of 17
1/5/10 at 2:48pm
I've got a couple of the DVDs. My girl really enjoys them - to the point that she sometimes hangs down over the tv screen to swat at the birds, or mice, or whatever (yes, I've got a big old Sony with lots of space for cats to sit on).

Then again, she also enjoys A-team reruns - something about Mr. T seems to attract her attention every single time - honestly!
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