Thank you threads - please read - message from the moderator team.

[katachtig]

Dear Members,

As much as any member deserves a public pat on the back for a job well done, we are asking that you relay your gratitude via PM. We have never encouraged threads addressed to one member on the boards.

Also remember that sometimes by posting to one person, others may actually feel left out.

As all of you know, this site is heavily trafficked, especially the Lounge, and it's tough for moderators to be able to go through all threads as it is. Keeping messages to one individual to the PM system will help the moderators do their jobs more effectively.

If someone sends you something privately, thank them privately. Any type of thread regarding only two people is to be kept to PMs. Official TCS elves are only sending items to people who are participating in the Secret Santa exchange and have their sender drop out.

Thanks.

 

[snake_lady]

Might want to pin this up top so that EVERYONE is aware that they are no longer allowed to thank people personally.

 

[natalie_ca]

Such a shame. I love reading about random acts of kindness. And I hardly feel left out when I see someone happy from something someone else did for them. In fact it lifts my spirits and restores my faith in humanity to know that there are some very kind and/or generous people still out there.

IMHO it promotes a sense of community instead of taking away from it.

I hope you all reconsider this new rule.

 

[sarahp]

It's actually not a new rule, it's been going for a number of years now. We want to promote an inclusive community, and when some people get presents from other members, but many don't it can make people feel left out. It's nice to know there are wonderful people out there, and we are certainly not discouraging the sending of gifts, but we'd just prefer gifts and thank you's to be a private thing between friends

 

[ldg]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Such a shame. I love reading about random acts of kindness. And I hardly feel left out when I see someone happy from something someone else did for them. In fact it lifts my spirits and restores my faith in humanity to know that there are some very kind and/or generous people still out there.

IMHO it promotes a sense of community instead of taking away from it.

I hope you all reconsider this new rule.

I know I feel this way when I see others "get" a smile!

Also, I've been the recipient of some random acts of kindness, and it's so nice to be able to acknowledge the giver publicly (if they divulge who they are) - and replies to the thread(s) I've posted in the past (not being aware of this rule) would seem to indicate that a lot of people feel the way you do Linda. I understand some people may feel left out - but it would seem it promotes more happiness and a wider sense of community among most members. ...can't always make everyone happy, but we can share the smiles.

I, too, hope TCS reconsiders this policy/rule - or decides to include it in the list of rules, so the policy is implemented consistently.

I assume we're able to say thanks publicly for anonymous gifts as there's no one specific to thank?

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by sarahp

It's actually not a new rule, it's been going for a number of years now. We want to promote an inclusive community, and when some people get presents from other members, but many don't it can make people feel left out. It's nice to know there are wonderful people out there, and we are certainly not discouraging the sending of gifts, but we'd just prefer gifts and thank you's to be a private thing between friends

I agree actually with keeping it private. I know I have received gifts in the past that were not part of the SS and expressed my thanks privately. The need to do so publicly seems to be some type of validation for the person receiving and ends ups making the person/persons doing the giving and receiving look like a small clique of their own which IMO is not the right tone to set for members who are not part of the group.

I'd hate to see the policy changed and other members not receiving gifts, either from other members or anonymously, feel left out and sad.

 

[ldg]

So are you saying people who receive gifts anonymously - but know it's from someone at TCS - aren't allowed to post threads about it?

If that's the case, the giver will have to use tracking when sending to know the recipient got the gift.... and if that's the case, then I do think the site should consider including this policy in the TCS Forum rules.

I know I wasn't aware of it. After this message was posted, I did report my own thread thanking someone for a thoughtful gift. ...but having seen other threads that weren't removed, I wouldn't have had any idea this policy existed. I understand TCS doesn't need to outline all decisions in the rules - but if this were included, it may help it be applied more consistently and function to alert potential givers as to how to commit random acts of kindness appropriately when wanting to be anonymous.

 

[yayi]

Originally Posted by Yosemite

I agree actually with keeping it private. I know I have received gifts in the past that were not part of the SS and expressed my thanks privately. The need to do so publicly seems to be some type of validation for the person receiving and ends ups making the person/persons doing the giving and receiving look like a small clique of their own which IMO is not the right tone to set for members who are not part of the group.

I'd hate to see the policy changed and other members not receiving gifts, either from other members or anonymously, feel left out and sad.

I was not aware it was a TCS policy but I agree it should stay as it is.

 

[ruthyb]

Is this aimed at secret santa? as its not fair if people want to show off their gifts and can't. x

 

[snake_lady]

Originally Posted by Ruthyb

Is this aimed at secret santa? as its not fair if people want to show off their gifts and can't. x

No, its aimed at people showing random acts of kindness. As in if I were to mail you a gift just cuz I think you're a nice person, then you can't thank me publicly because apparantly that makes it look like you and I are in a clique.

What next???? There are things way worse on here that show the cliques, but that is allowed to happen yet when someone is kind enough to show a person whose having a hard time, that they are appreciated, that is not allowed to happen. Its a shame really.

If I want to share pics of my kids opening gifts from someone on here, I can't.....and that is ridiculous IMO and makes me quite sad.

I know I wasn't aware of it. After this message was posted, I did report my own thread thanking someone for a thoughtful gift. ...but having seen other threads that weren't removed, I wouldn't have had any idea this policy existed. I understand TCS doesn't need to outline all decisions in the rules - but if this were included, it may help it be applied more consistently and function to alert potential givers as to how to commit random acts of kindness appropriately when wanting to be anonymous

Indeed..... thanking posts have been happening since I joined, about a year ago.....and this is the first I've heard of it

 

[snake_lady]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Such a shame. I love reading about random acts of kindness. And I hardly feel left out when I see someone happy from something someone else did for them. In fact it lifts my spirits and restores my faith in humanity to know that there are some very kind and/or generous people still out there.

IMHO it promotes a sense of community instead of taking away from it.

I hope you all reconsider this new rule.

Very well said.

I know I feel very happy when I see other people happy and it is indeed a shame to not hear about the kindness and generousity of others..... it brightens peoples day.

 

[sarahp]

This is a rule not to be mean but to make sure people don't feel excluded. If I send someone a present not part of Secret Santa, it's to be nice to them, not so I can get public thanks. I also wouldn't want other members who I did not send presents to to feel left out - everyone's been through tough years, and I don't think any one person is more deserving of something than anyone else. The people who do feel left out aren't likely to post publicly saying so, which is why it is not going to a forum debate.

Also please be reminded that TCS policies are not up for public discussion, and if you would like to take it further, please send a PM to Anne.

Thanks everyone for your cooperation, and I hope you enjoy the Chirstmas weekend

 

[trouts mom]

I agree. I feel excluded..ME WANT GIFTS!

 

[snake_lady]

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

I agree. I feel excluded..ME WANT GIFTS!

Yah know, I would be happy to send ya a little something because I think you're an awesome person....but alas, I do not have your addy so no luck there.... Maybe sometime next year

 

[coolcat]

Bump this....

 

[sarahp]

If you wish to discuss this request further, please PM Anne, I will now close this thread.