I can finally talk about it.

Well it has been three months and I think I can talk about it. You know it is funny how he pops up in my life every day. Like yesterday I was looking through a book and saw a picture that looked exactly like him and I started crying. I cry almost every night, I do miss him so much! He was and still is my world. About a month ago there was a women who came into my work all beaten up and scared. To make a long story short, her husband had beaten her really bad. Actually he had always done it and well finally he had done it so bad that the police finally did something about it. She had told me that within a four day period time her and her husband were getting a divorce, he was going to jail, and then they were sending her into protective custody. In the program she was going into she was unable to have any animals. She said she had a dog that was 6 months old, and a cat that she had already found a home for. We got to talking and I had told her about shadow and everything. Well not even 25 min after she left did i see her waving at me to come out side. So I go and she throws me this wonderful dog at me, and all his things and leaves. Well she call me the next day at work ond asks me how her baby is doing, and i had said wait i want to know are you sure about this, she said to me well i needed to find him a good home and you seem like a wonderful person, and if you can not keep him please promise me you will find him a good home. Well we have him and he is wonderful, missy my other cat loves him and so do we. But i still miss my little baby boy!!!! Well thanks for all the love!
Valerie

Although you hurt like the dickens and believe right at this moment that your life will never be whole again. It will get better. It takes time to work through the stages of grief, the anger, the questions, the sadness, the depression. You did the right thing by Shadow, you released him from the pain that was holding him in your life. When that happens, when you make that tough decision, as he leaves his pain behind, you consume it. That is also a part of the grief path and a step toward healing.

There is no greater love that a human can show an animal, then to let go of the selfish desire to keep the animal around for "just a little while longer" and do the unselfish act of releasing that animal from pain. I know it hurts, I know it sears through you like a hot poker, but I also know it gets better, you just have to give it time.

I don't know the pain you are experiencing, because I have never had my own pets until now, so they are very young. But my heart aches for anyone who has lost someone they love. I'm sure Shadow loved you very much, too, you're obviously a very caring and emotional person. It makes it that much more difficult, and the pain hurts that much more. I'm so glad you can start to talk about it.

I believe everything happens for a reason. And who knows? Perhaps Shadow had a hand in bringing that woman to your place of work. Your new puppy will never replace Shadow, but he can bring you new joys.

It seems to me like Shadow will always be with you. I hope the pain will begin to transform into joy at his memory. It is so wonderful to know people like you are out there, that you care so much.