Adopting out cats as gifts to spouses

I could really use some tips and advice from the experienced rescuers around here. I've done cat and dog rescue for quite a few years now both on my own and for others but this year I finally took the leap to start my own rescue to have a way to help the many, many street cats around here that nobody else, except for animal control, will take.
I want all my cats to go to good, loving, responsible forever homes and I recognize that these homes can look many different ways. I don't want to dismiss good homes because of technicalities and I don't want to be one of those rescues that won't be flexible. But I also have standards and I don't want to lower my standards to place a cat.
One thing that I think is very important is that everyone in the home is on board about adopting a cat. This is an animal that could be with you for the next twenty years so adopting a cat should be a well thought out decision. Now I'm having a situation that I'm not quite sure how to deal with and I'd like to get other people's input.

With Christmas coming up I've been getting a lot of inquireries about my kittens. I don't think that there is necessarily anything wrong with adopting a pet for Christmas as long as you are aware and prepared for this being a long term commitment and not just a fun thing for Christmas. However, I've been getting emails from people saying that they want to adopt a kitten as a surprise for their spouse and I'm not sure how to deal with that. I would never allow someone to adopt one of my cats for someone else, like a friend, but when it's for a spouse the cat is staying with the person that adopted him. Of course the adopter would have to fill out an application and have a home visit like everyone else but since it's a surprise I would not be able to meet the other spouse.
How do other rescues deal with this? Should I turn down these adopters automatically if I'm not sure that all family members are on board or should I take a chance if all else seems good?

Any input would be very much appreciated.

I think a nice idea would be to suggest to them to give their spouse all the proper kitten supplies, etc. on Christmas, with a "gift certificate" for the spouse to come pick out their own kitten. This usually works better and most people won't object.

Since it is for the spouse, and it will be on the same household, I truly don't see a problem with it... This is not the case where they are dropping the kitty in someone's house and not taking responsibility for it - the kitty is going to be in their house, with responsible adults to take care of them.
Besides, you would think a husband and wife do know each other enough to know if this is going to cause a problem - chances are this matter has already been discussed, or the wife has already asked for it before, and it is now coming to fruition during Christmas, as a nice gift.
I would take advantage of these opportunities for sure... This is a once a year opportunity - Good luck!

We do not adopt out surprise gift pets - period. We have lost adopters that way, but we have to be sure everyone wants the pet. Oftentimes we've had people who apply for a pet for their spouse - and when we call the spouse to ask them if they want the pet we get a "no way". And it happens way too often.

I like Willowy's idea - if they wish to do a surprise gift - some groups have little "kitty packs" to purchase that include supplies & a certificate to come pick a kitty. Then the spouse gets to pick their own pet, and you are sure they want it.

Originally Posted by white cat lover

We do not adopt out surprise gift pets - period. We have lost adopters that way, but we have to be sure everyone wants the pet. Oftentimes we've had people who apply for a pet for their spouse - and when we call the spouse to ask them if they want the pet we get a "no way". And it happens way too often.

Click to expand...

I don't have the shelter worker experience, but this does not surprise me -- what a convenient way to do an end run around a reluctant spouse!

Originally Posted by white cat lover

I like Willowy's idea - if they wish to do a surprise gift - some groups have little "kitty packs" to purchase that include supplies & a certificate to come pick a kitty. Then the spouse gets to pick their own pet, and you are sure they want it.

Click to expand...

I like this idea, too, and if the spouse really does want a kitty, the anticipation and the personal selection are important parts of the gift.

Originally Posted by Willowy

I think a nice idea would be to suggest to them to give their spouse all the proper kitten supplies, etc. on Christmas, with a "gift certificate" for the spouse to come pick out their own kitten. This usually works better and most people won't object.

Click to expand...

I really like this idea. Plus you don't know which kitty will bond with the spouse.

That said, the BEST birthday present I EVER got was Nadette about 6 weeks after we lost Smudge I. And it was a surprise that my hubby and daughter conspired on.

Thanks for the replies. I do like the idea of giving them a gift certificate. I will definitely suggest that to the adopters and if the spouse is on board after getting the certificate I deliver the kitten right after Christmas. That should still be fun for them and I can be sure that everyone is really on board.
Actually, I should add some info about a gift certificate for a kitten or cat on my web site.
Great idea!

Originally Posted by white cat lover

We do not adopt out surprise gift pets - period.

Click to expand...

This is exactly how I feel. I've lost a lot of sales because I will not do this.

Originally Posted by white cat lover

We do not adopt out surprise gift pets - period. We have lost adopters that way, but we have to be sure everyone wants the pet. Oftentimes we've had people who apply for a pet for their spouse - and when we call the spouse to ask them if they want the pet we get a "no way". And it happens way too often.

I like Willowy's idea - if they wish to do a surprise gift - some groups have little "kitty packs" to purchase that include supplies & a certificate to come pick a kitty. Then the spouse gets to pick their own pet, and you are sure they want it.

Click to expand...

Same here, as much as Matt and I are both cat lovers, we need to feel that bond with the pet we are choosing and so I would not want him to pick a cat for me.

We also do a kitty pack for gifts with a note that we can still deny the application in the fine print since the spouse may have very different ideas of pet ownership than the person we interviewed

I actually have allowed a kitten to be adopted as a gift for a spouse, but that was because they had discussed getting a kitten and decided what they were looking for...the surprise was really just the "when." Worked out wonderfully. But, if it had been an older cat with a distinct personality, I may not have allowed it. That's what I like about fostering on my own...I can be flexible like that

People have told us that they have spoken about it, but then the spouse knows nothing about it.

NO third party adoptions. Period. Just got a call - someone interested in adopting Ghost - after talking for a few minutes, she conceded it was for her adult daughter... who has recently lost a snowshoe mix. I said I will only adopt a cat to the person who is taking possession of the cat... and everyone in the household has to be involved and meet me and the animal.

It also ran up a red flag when the woman said that she and husband are doing this b/c the daughter " can't afford to do it" herself. If you cannot afford to adopt the cat, then can you afford to look after it for its lifetime?

That said - I have arranged to show Ghost to them on Saturday afternoon. But I will have my guard up.

The affording thing annoys me, we have people in the shelter try to talk us down on the adoption cost because they are low income etc and we ask them how will they afford the pet